Lessons Learned from the 2007 Milford Boys Baseball Season:
Lesson #1: An old man telling made-up stories is by far the most interesting thing in the whole town. Apparently Mark Jeske’s PS3 is broken.
Lesson #2: Judging from the folks featured in the first panel, One-Legged Bill Ritter is going to have a lot of company at the Special Olympics this summer.
Lesson #3: Why did Clambake do all this? Why, for the free jacket of course. That sweatshirt of his was getting downright ripe and he needed a new top.
Lesson #4: The only person who learned anything from this mess? Clambake. He learned not to lie about his identity and make up stories or there might be zero consequences and a free jacket. And now it’s time to skip to Raleigh…Yancey needs a new pair of pants!
Alright, let’s bring on the two months of nonsensical summer stories!
Hey, wait, old man! Before you go, we MUST know how you got the nickname “Clambake” in the Navy. I’m hoping it had something to do with activities during shore leave, and how hot you could make it for the ladies.
The baseball team shows WAAAY more enthusiasm for Clambake than they ever did during the actual games. Maybe that was the problem all along.
And in panel 2, are Gil and Clamfake doing the Vulcan mating ritual?
But wait… before we can get on to the nonsensical summer stories, don’t we have to wrap up the nonsensical softball storyline? I’m really looking forward to in-depth coverage of Thorpstock — i.e. one panel of the girls at the Bucket, talking about what a great time Thorpstock was. THEN we can get on to the summer stories.
Comment by johnw — July 8, 2007 @ 5:38 pm
There seems to be a running Gil Thorp theme that systematically lying to everyone has no consequences. Clamfake didn’t even have to redeem himself through some act of heroism.
Also, Ken Burger looks to have a promising future as a man-in-black, working counterintelligence for some government intelligence agency. I can just see him 30 years down the road, sporting sunglasses and a crew cut, solemnly intoning “Some things we’re BETTER OFF not knowing” to a Senate Intelligence Committee.
Comment by brashieel — July 8, 2007 @ 8:08 pm
I like how this ended the same way that “Lisa the Iconoclast did.” A perfectly cromulent plotline, indeed.
Comment by B — July 9, 2007 @ 6:30 am
We’ve got our second super-awkward high five in as many days. But this one is better than the last, because we’ve got Gil’s giant, freakish Sasquatch hand almost enveloping Clamfake’s dainty bone china hand. And I mean bone china, because in panel 2, Clamfake’s about the whitest he’s ever been — and that’s really saying something.
Comment by Cash — July 9, 2007 @ 7:20 am
I really miss Clambake already. It’s like there’s a Clambake-shaped hole in the comics page.
Comment by Matt Ramone — July 9, 2007 @ 8:12 am
We’ve got our second super-awkward high five in as many days
The first awkward high five wasn’t a high-five, it was Ken Burger holding up Clamfake’s hand in a ‘this is the champ’ pose.
Comment by Scott de B. — July 9, 2007 @ 9:33 am
I *pray* this isn’t deliberate, but is it just me or has that ‘MILFORD’ jacket in panel 1 been far too conveniently cropped by Clambake’s head to read ‘MILF’?
Comment by sstadnicki — July 9, 2007 @ 11:50 am
[...] the first June I wrote this blog, (three years ago!) and it appears the last day of the season was July 8th. But back then, at least we had Clambake to keep us paying [...]
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