OK, panels one and two give us some of the usual nonsense, like awkward drinking with a weird claw hand, and Gil and Kaz talking about the suckiness of their players (“I know you were joking when you told ol’ peg-leg to try out, but he’s out fastest runner, and that’s without the prosthetic on…”) but really it’s all about panel three today. As in, “OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THE DEAL WITH THE GUY IN PANEL THREE???”
My theory: He (it?) is the missing evolutionary link between Kaz and a silverback mountain gorilla. (As to which direction is the evolved one is still unclear.) He (it?) likely escaped from that mysterious secret lab on the hill, kept hidden from Milfordians to keep them from talking too much about that hogwash ’evolution’ fad that the East-Coast liberal media has been pushing on the common people lately.
On the plus side, at least until he (it?) speaks, he (it?) is my new favorite character. He (it?) is like a gentle misundertood Frankenstein’s monster. Too bad the idiot townspeople will have to burn him (it?) alive.
Hey, it’s Sloth! I guess the Mudlarks r good enough.
Comment by Matt Ramone — September 5, 2007 @ 8:42 am
Panel 1: I know it’s hard to drink from a bottle without a thumb, but that’s no reason to tilt your whole torso ba- What the hell is wrong with this guy’s arm? It seems to be coming from his stomach or groin area. There’s no way the the right upper-arm drawn here connects with the right forearm drawn here.
Panel 2: Add that bucket thing to the Milford Pantheon of Mysterious Objects. Is it a well? In the middle of a football practice field?
Panel 3: What we need is a brutish Neanderthal man-beast! Come over here, Mongo, and put this helmet on! No, it goes on your head, Mongo! Now hit that guy! If you don’t obey us, we’ll have to put you in the chains again!
Comment by Cash — September 5, 2007 @ 8:55 am
Looks like Jethro Bodine to me. Max Baer, that is — not the poseur in the movie version.
Comment by johnw — September 5, 2007 @ 9:15 am
Mongo only pawn in game of Milford high school football.
Comment by Scott de B. — September 5, 2007 @ 9:16 am
I didn’t know that Bababooey from the Howard Stern show lived in Milford.
Comment by Regina — September 5, 2007 @ 9:28 am
Each panel today is a freaking masterpiece.
Panel 1: A truly hideous rendering of The Thumbless Claw, along with The Boy With No Face.
Panel 2: Kaz’s flipper arms, Thorp’s advanced MMES, and an old-timey ice cream maker in the background.
Panel 3: The debut of Mongo Lloyd. Brilliant!
Comment by sourbelly — September 5, 2007 @ 10:50 am
Is that Jose Canseco as a high schooler? It’s an eerie resemblance…
Comment by Ian — September 5, 2007 @ 11:46 am
Ape-with-abs must get haircut fast.
Comment by Gil'sBarber — September 5, 2007 @ 12:17 pm
Ape-boy must’ve heard this team gladly signs on players with missing parts, just as he left the lobotomy lab.
Comment by Gil'sBarber — September 5, 2007 @ 12:22 pm
I can’t wait to see Marty Moon leading the mob of angry townspeople, brandishing torches and rakes, when he hears of Gil’s latest recruit…
Comment by Mooch — September 5, 2007 @ 2:31 pm
Ape-dude needs Brick House riding on his shoulder. If they’re only wearing one helmet (on Brick House, of course) they only count as one player, right?
Comment by Wikitorix — September 5, 2007 @ 4:33 pm
Friggin’ yes, Kaz is gonna recruit the Incredible Hulk! There’s no stopping the Mudlarks now!
Comment by El Santo — September 5, 2007 @ 5:17 pm
The Incredible Hulk appears to be missing an Incredible Chromosome.
Comment by Doc Gooden — September 5, 2007 @ 6:41 pm
The look of longing as he hangs on the fence, watching the sweaty Milford lads practice their manly sport…what’s he doing with his left hand???
Comment by Anonymous Novelist — September 5, 2007 @ 8:12 pm
I swear I played football with that kid in college. He was strangely afraid of fire and angry villagers.
Comment by Tracer Bullet — September 5, 2007 @ 9:27 pm
Thursday looks like they sent in the first team police sketch artist to draw the new kid.
Don’t schools have organized tryouts before the season starts? He’s a transfer from somewhere (fill in lame jokes here) or Milford is so small they’ll take anyone who suddenly decides to play during the season.
Comment by dale — September 6, 2007 @ 1:04 am
Though it looks fairly mysterious at the moment, the entire story line for the fall season has been revealed.
The autistic looking fella actually escaped from the Iowa home for the criminally insane. Right now he is scoping out the people on the field trying to decide whose testicles he wants to remove and turn into castanets. He has already decided that Coach Kaz’s torso will make a lovely lamp shade… But this will just be the sub plot.
The real story is about Bill Ritter and how Milford will win in the Valley! In the final game, we can only hope it will be against Goshen, Milford is down by 5 with time running out. The quarterback will make a toss to Ritter. The linebacker covering him tries to take him out at the knees. But guess what! He hits the wrong knee and takes out the prosthetic leg. Ritter hops into the end zone redefining the true meaning of “break away speed”.
We all vomit and look toward the basketball season and Bill’s next adventure.
Comment by tom — September 6, 2007 @ 4:14 am
Something tells me this boy may be a little slow…ie he is already 20 and can’t play football…Gil will find a way around it. Though, I sense a disease in the future ala the giant from a few years ago that Gil killed.
However, I am so hoping this has something to do with Gail Martin. She’s paying Mongo $300 a week to investigate Kaz
Comment by john b — September 6, 2007 @ 4:41 am
It’s just Moose – he wandered over from Riverdale, and then forgot his name, but CullyVale sounded sort of familiar, so he went with it. Soon Archie will show up, and Moose will be enchanted by his red hair and follow it home.
Comment by jules — September 6, 2007 @ 5:43 am
Hoo Boy you guys got fooled– you don’t really think that is Gil in Panel 2, do you? That’s just some kid messing around with a giant paper mache Gil head. Course it fooled Kaz (the great detective) but once “Coach Gil” starts walking, that head will bobble like nobody’s business!
Comment by Laura Jane — September 6, 2007 @ 5:58 am
tom #17 LOL LOL!! Too funny !!!!!
Comment by Gil'sBarber — September 6, 2007 @ 8:20 am
[...] Meanwhile, Gil’s attempts to get free coaching are becoming more and more elaborate: Now he’s managed to convince the cable repairman to stay for a cup of coffee. Which is of course laced with roofies. When Mark wakes up, he’ll be half lobotomized and chained to the goal post. Also known as “pulling a Cully Vale.” [...]
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