Run on sentences.

We now take a break from your regularly-scheduled plot of two crazy-haired weirdo delinquents conversing in the lunchroom to something even more wacko! Kaz and Gil’s homo-erotic sprinting! (What makes it homo-erotic? Can’t say for sure, it’s more one of those “I know it when I see it” things.)
The awesomeness factor of the artwork in panel one is multiplied by the fact that the coaches appear to be in a full-on sprint, while at the same time engaging in casual conversation. I also dig the chunky strings of sweat flying off their heads, not to mention their super-sweaty foreheads. But seriously, who does this? When you’re sprinting (especially if your a 97-year-old Frankenstein coach) shouldn’t you really just be concentrating on breathing, not discussing the lack of recent pranksterism and the fact your passing game still sucks? Maybe they went out for a jog, but now they’re being chased by a psychotic Cullystein and Boyd the Bad News Elf. “Gotta keep the plot moving, even while we’re running for our lives!”
Meanwhile three guys who all tried out for the part of Red on “That 70’s Show” take a break from their bowling tournament to watch the world’s most awful high school football game.







The Red wannabes appear to be watching the lousy game on YouTube. Or maybe they’re watching a video of homoerotic Milford coach-sprinting (which is more likely to show up on YouTube).
Either way, Blondie McDutchcut appears gapingly horrified … or maybe just dully stupified. Or maybe we’ve found Cullystein’s daddy.
Comment by Rooty-Toot-Toot — October 23, 2007 @ 9:44 am
Now that I think of it, Other-Central-Coach-With-Hair appears more Cully-like in both hair and jawline.
Comment by Rooty-Toot-Toot — October 23, 2007 @ 9:45 am
Jason, your deconstruction of panel one got me to thinking: Ever since the Rock-n-Roll Carole King thing wrapped up in August, this strip has been a real sausage-fest. Not counting the occasional transvestite, it’s been pretty much woman-free in Milford for the past couple of months. Maybe Cully is “culling” the female population of this berg.
Comment by sourbelly — October 23, 2007 @ 10:24 am
The three-man bowling team/Central coaching brain trust consists of Blondie McDutchcut flanked by Craig T. Nelson and OSU/Minnesota Vikings RB Robert Smith (both somewhat older, indicating that they may be watching this from THE FUTURE!!)
We’ve seen Gil and Kaz out running before, but this extreme sprinting is new. I think all their inactivity and visits to BAR are going to result in both of them throwing up pretty soon. Maybe that’s what the bowling team is looking at, the latest viral video on YOUHEAVE.
Kaz and Gil in running mode always makes me think of Brian’s Song.
Comment by Ned Ryerson — October 23, 2007 @ 10:29 am
The first guy in Coach Central crew reminds me of Dan Akroyd in Coneheads.
I’m with you on the first two panels, Jason. Kaz and Gil have angered Cullystein and Elf boy and they’re both running from their wrath. Kaz asked Cully “what was it like”? (taking a page from Asianboy) and Gil said to Cully and Elf boy “Sucks to be both of you”.
Comment by Regina — October 23, 2007 @ 10:50 am
I also think that the Central’s “Three Stooges” have discovered Cully’s horrifying secret on their huge monitor that also doubles as an HDTV.
Comment by Regina — October 23, 2007 @ 10:53 am
Our last panel today doesn’t show the same signs of wear — those starburst holes in the background — but it’s a little, uh, stubbly.
Comment by Ianscot — October 23, 2007 @ 1:12 pm
I’m fascinated by those diagonal lines in the background of panel 2. Are they supposed to be clouds? Mountains shrouded in mist? Some evil spirit coming for Gil?
Comment by Catbus — October 23, 2007 @ 1:30 pm
Heh, heh…stubbly.
I just noticed that in Panel 2, they’re running towards an aurora borealis.
I love this strip. I want to give it a big ‘ol double straw, painted on glasses, obsolete CRT, insane haircut, self-flagellating, brain punching, full-speed sprinting, magical white negro, triangular ceramic sandwich, exploding mailbox, US Rep Betty Bright, locked in on the hole, government cheese headrest, talking tree branch, unplugged headset, fallaway slammin’ hug.
Comment by Ned Ryerson — October 23, 2007 @ 1:31 pm
THIS STRIP IS AWESOME
Panel 1: I actually don’t find this running to be homoerotic. Actually, I find hardly anything in Gil Thorp to be homoerotic. Does that make me gay? Or extra-straight? Whatever. Regardless of any sexual overtones that may or may not be present, this panel rocks the house. Gil’s motion lines show you just how fast these Twin Titans of Bad Coaching are moving. Kaz’s profuse sweat shows you just how hard they’re working. And yet they’re able to maintain a normal conversation, because that’s just what they do. And is it just me, or is Kaz developing a hunchback in this panel?
Panel 2: I hadn’t noticed those diagonal lines until Catbus pointed them out, but what the hell? I don’t think there’s mountains in Connecticut, so let’s go with the Aurora Borealis. It could probably be visible at that latitude at this time of year. Not during broad daylight, of course, but you can’t win ‘em all.
Panel 3: My first though upon seeing the Central braintrust was that they were some kind of wannabe super-group. They couldn’t afford to make their own matching super-costumes, so they bought second-hand bowling shirts instead (I imagine they say “Pin Pals” on the back.) The one on the left is obviously the brains of the group. Just look at his huge, disproportionate cranium. And he’s sitting. Maybe he’s in a wheelchair like Professor X. Maybe he is Professor X. The other two are clearly just brutish henchmen, brought on only for their muscle. Their sloping brows and dumb facial expressions expose them as mere brutes. In keeping with the “underfunded” theme, they’re watching their spy-cam footage on a lovingly rendered CRT monitor. Frank really did a good job on that. It’s too bad he can’t draw a flat-panel monitor, laptop, or keyboard to save his life. Or folded arms. Seriously, take a look at Henchman #1’s chest here. It looks like he stapled a wool sock to his bowling shirt.
Comment by Cash — October 23, 2007 @ 2:29 pm
The middle Central coach is the poor sap they sent to tape the craptacular Milford / Goshen game. Seeing it again has triggered a psychotic episode, and in the unseen 4th panel, he kills the other coaches with fallaway slams.
Comment by Ivan — October 23, 2007 @ 3:54 pm
The three-man bowling team/Central coaching brain trust consists of Blondie McDutchcut flanked by Craig T. Nelson and OSU/Minnesota Vikings RB Robert Smith (both somewhat older, indicating that they may be watching this from THE FUTURE!!)
Or Funky Winkerbean. Are they Scapegoats? Speaking of which, I never knew that Archie Andrews QBed Riverdale High. I figured that it was Reggie Mantle.
Comment by Ennui Willie Keeler — October 23, 2007 @ 4:11 pm
Alright!! Coach Shaw shows up on Wednesday!
Comment by Ennui Willie Keeler — October 23, 2007 @ 4:23 pm
Another in-depth analysis”
Panel 1–Weird fact: Frank McLaughlin used to ink “The Flash” comic boook. Both Gil and Kaz are locked in classic Carmine Infantino Flash poses.
Panel 2–Why the fark are they running anyway? Is it football practice. Are they just enjoying themselves. Are they auditioning for the Flash role in the Justice League of America movie? And is there a storm a-brewin’? Maybe that’ll make things more interesting.
Panel 3–Are the Central guys watching tape of last week’s game? Or are they out bowling? Or are they looking at nude pictures of Dr. Laura from the Internet? Or maybe I should make some iced tea?
And where the fark is Central? Is there a city called Centrl? Is it actually in the center. Here in Evansville, IN, Central High School is actually localted on the north edge of town, north of North High School. And the bald-headed guy out front looks like he was a waterboy in high school. I’ve never a high school football coach look that puny.
Comment by Doug Puthoff — October 23, 2007 @ 6:31 pm
This may be the best strip of the Rubin/Frank M. era.
It works on so many levels.
panel one: Rubin obviously forgot about the Valley Tech storyline, so he had Kaz and Gil cleverly think it out.
Panel two: Rubin is in panic mode about what he has forgotten, so he brings up the fact again that Tony Casey can’t throw.
Panel three: It is too amazing for words. A trio of coaches who look like bowlers watching a computer screen. The brilliance is they could be watching game film, googling cully vale or streaming Marty Moon. One never knows.
Comment by john b — October 23, 2007 @ 6:49 pm
I thought of a naked Marty Moon scares the devil out of me.
Comment by Doug Puthoff — October 24, 2007 @ 6:22 am
Kaz and Gil run like Sonic the Hedgehog.
Except not fast, or cool, or well-animated. Picture a heavy-set, middle-aged man doing a Sonic impersonation. Yeah, that.
They run like spazzes, is what I’m trying to say.
Comment by Reynard Noir — October 24, 2007 @ 7:20 am
They run like Phoebe on “Friends”.
Comment by Gil'sBarber — October 24, 2007 @ 7:35 am
[...] hope Kaz isn’t jealous of Gil cheating on him with a new running [...]
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