I hope you’ve been studying, class. Today it’s time for another Gil Thorp quiz!
1. In today’s first panel can you find the…
Lightsaber?
Oncoming train?
Disembodied forearm?
Enormous Venus Elmer Trap preparing to feed?
Plot?*
2. In today’s second panel can you name the Vargas family foul-up?
a. Never completing their citizenship paperwork after Danny DeVito died.
b. Raising red flags with a local lawyer, who now has no choice but to report that Elmer, unlike his parents, has somehow lived in the U.S. illegally for under ten years and needs to be sent packing.
c. Hoping that brick magic would be enough to overpower U.S. immigration law.
d. Elmer
3. In today’s final panel, write a short essay on what cockamamie plan Elmer is now hatching.
Example: Elmer is first plotting his escape from his Amazon mother’s coffee cup. Once complete, he plans to seek the advice of Gil on the best way to kill his jerk-ass parents, because he heard that Cully killed some dude, and they’re not trying to deport him.
Essays will be graded on the basis of confusing randomness, implausibility, and inconsistent pacing. In other words, just like the comic itself.
*Ha-ha. No, not really.
I’m really starting to dig Senora Vargas. She is a mighty tribute to her Aztec ancestors.
Comment by laura — May 21, 2008 @ 11:44 am
Milford Park’s pretty quaint to have swings that accommodate 6′+/- basketball players’ legs.
Wonder what their sliding board looks like?
Cool quiz, Jason! Will have to “get some extra help” and get back with ya.
Comment by Gil'sBarber — May 21, 2008 @ 11:50 am
Ooops – baseball players ;)
Comment by Gil'sBarber — May 21, 2008 @ 11:52 am
If this storyline is going the same way as the previous one, Elmer (who is still a minor) is gonna get himself adopted by Marty Moon, making himself completely legal.
Comment by El Santo — May 21, 2008 @ 11:52 am
Elmer decides to consult the brightest mind Milford has ever produced, Brick House. Brick is quite busy with his career at DOUGHNUT SHOP, but agrees to hear Elmer out. Elmer displays his martial arts skeelz (see panel two), and announces that he plans to judo-chop those INS folks until they agree to make him a citizen. Distracted, Brick agrees with this plan.
Unfortunately, on the way to INS HEADQUARTERS, Elmer develops a sudden case of Marfan’s Syndrome. He rethinks his plan, and returns to Brick, seeking any advice possible. At this point, Brick realizes his old friend Elmer (they are old friends; don’t question it) is in serious trouble. Weeks go by as Brick ponders the situation. Finally, he arrives at a plan, which is gradually reveealed, one cliffhanger strip after another, through mid-August.
In the next strip, Brick lays out his plan: All the Milford baseball players will grow goatees to protest the INS, thereby enraging Marty Moon, who thinks he’s being mocked and races down to INS HEADQUARTERS to confront INS BOSS, reminding him that he owes Marty “a few favors.” INS BOSS capitulates. In the next panel, the kids at The Bucket discuss how neat it is that everything worked out. In the last panel, Gil and Mimi discuss Lisa Wyche’s mysterious rash.
Comment by sourbelly — May 21, 2008 @ 12:36 pm
Elmer’s on his way to see the only person who can help. Kaz. Then a game of baseball will be played. Then Elmer and Kaz will be reviewing their plot, maybe Brendan will be there. Gil will catch wind of the plan. Another game of baseball will be played where Gil will make some comment about Elmer’s situation and how he has an idea. They pull a fast one on the INS through some kind of adoption/sports scheme. Kaz and Gil share a few words over tall mugs at BAR. Wacky summer hijinx ensue.
Comment by Tweeks_Coffee — May 21, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
After talking with Marty Moon, he and Elmer decided that Marty would impersonate the late, departed, Danny DeVito and forge the sponsership papers that he had started prior to his death. to explain how he is once aain alive and six feet tall with a full head of hair, Marty/Danny explains that he was a mole that had imbedded the Gambino crime family. After he was discovered, he was placed into the witness protection plan, given plastic surgery and had his body stretched. But when he had heard that his amigo Senor Vargas was in immigration trouble, he had to come back and “do the right thing”. The INS, who doesn’t care who or what comes into the country and who would even let Osama Bin Laden in, believes this ridiculous and implausable story and gives Elmer and his family their citizenship.
Then Gil comes in at the end and takes all the credit, which causes Marty Moon to kill Gil.
Comment by Regina — May 21, 2008 @ 1:00 pm
Oh yea, and if I was Elmer, I would yell at my parents for being as lazy and uncaring as Gil and because they’re f*ckups I might get me deported.
Comment by Regina — May 21, 2008 @ 1:05 pm
Where is Clambake when you need him?
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — May 21, 2008 @ 1:06 pm
Elmer is getting hour-long Spanish lessons from Branden Oyl before school every day. A few weeks of those and he’ll be 100 percent prepared to integrate into Mexican society when the INS dumps him in Tijuana with no money!
Comment by Josh — May 21, 2008 @ 3:15 pm
Elmer’s BFF sounds like she wants him to be deported in panel 2.
Comment by Kim — May 21, 2008 @ 4:01 pm
Can I offer my own version of the Gil Thorp quiz?
OK, here goes:
1. In today’s first panel of Gil Thorp, can you find…
Gil Thorp?
2. In today’s second panel of Gil Thorp, can you find…
Gil Thorp?
3. In today’s third panel of Gil Thorp, can you find…
Gil Thorp?
Correct answers: No, No, No.
Where is Gil Thorp? PUB
Comment by Striker — May 21, 2008 @ 4:42 pm
I love this website and everbody who writes in. It keeps me from jumping out of my office window every day. Today’s strip kept my mind off of the fact that South Carolina’s version of the Milford baseball team, our own Gamecocks, managed to blow a 4-0 lead in the 9th inning to lose to LSU. We needed an Elmer Vargas like closer who Clambake tutored during the season.
Comment by southmauldin — May 21, 2008 @ 6:28 pm
Josh is correct. Elmer is taking clandestine Espanol lessons so he can cope when he is dumped alone and broke in the morass of Mexico City.
Comment by James Reed — May 21, 2008 @ 6:55 pm
In a shocking twist, Elmer is learning French, because he is going to run away to Canada to escape the INS. Unfortunatly, his huge mutant flipper hands will cause some kind of accident, destroying the national Canadian parliment (A giant Igloo) causing him to flee Canada and go back to Milford. And then he will live happily ever after, and nobody will ever speak of this again.
Comment by bunnyofdoom — May 22, 2008 @ 9:19 am
Getting caught up here…I love it #12.
ALSO: Yeah, what precisely WAS Elmer’s parents’ foul-up anyway? Having a kid that blabbed about the fact he was illegal to everyone in Milford?
Comment by Emptyeye — May 23, 2008 @ 1:16 pm