So Rep. Betty Bright is one pissed-off lady, isn’t she? If I looked like that, dressed that tackily and was busy enough to be one of those jerks who drive around with a ginormous Blue-tooth in my ear all day, I guess I’d be pretty pissed off too.
At least we get a window into how one government official reacts to communication sent to her office:
Method: Send personal letter.
Response: Receive personalized pissed-off phone call telling you to go to hell.
Method: Call regarding an article in The Milford Star for some reason.
Response: Block all calls, take a drive to avoid further contact with office.
Method: Call field office to request a personal exemption from immigration law.
Response: Send INS to caller’s house for immediate deportation.
Method: E-mail suggesting Betty make a guest appearance on What Not to Wear.
Response: Trace IP address. Have e-mailer sent directly to Guantanamo.
Later, Gil invites Elmer to his office to play a series of increasingly high-pitched tones.
“So you’ll be deported to this country here…”
“Fine, screw you kid. If you don’t care, we’ll send you over here to the Pacific Ocean!”
“So this is the lady you’ll be staying with…”
“Fine screw you, mullet-head. If my sexy giant earrings and striped Hello Kitty outfit aren’t enough to keep you tantalized and awake, feel free to rot in the Gulf of Mexico. Besides, I have to go e-mail back What Not to Wear…”
And more laterer…
“I forgot for a few weeks, but check me out: A nine-foot tall muscle-bound freak. Oh and something about drawers.”
“Say, that reminds me…I left my index finger in a drawer! And once I go get it, I’m going to go call Marty Moon…he has all sorts of contraband crap in his drawers.”