Bugs McCoy checks in, right before he checks out…permanently, into the Kalamazoo River. After all, if you were a half man, half bullfrog, obsessed with chomping on wet used cigars you found in the garbage, working as a scout who owed favors to Gil Thorp, you wouldn’t be long for this world either. As one last joke to humanity before jumping into the deep, he complements the mediocre play of Jimmy Hughes.
It’s no surprise that Elmer isn’t good enough for the Majors. After all, his mullet pales in comparison to Randy Johnson, Rod Beck, and the rest of baseball’s finest mullets…
It is a surprise, however, that Gil is more worried about Elmer’s problems than he is about the baseball-sized tumor in his back.
How long, O Lord, how long?
Comment by laura — July 2, 2008 @ 10:39 am
Judging by Elmer’s rapidly increasing alienation from everyone in his life, we’d better deport him NOW before there’s a massacre.
Can’t Gil come up with a few more futile ideas and quickly dispose of them, and drag this damn story into September?
Meanwhile, I have a great idea for a summer storyline that’s just going begging. About 15 years ago, Michigan hockey coach Red Berenson was arrested for urinating on the outside wall of a public library branch located next door to a, well, PUB. He had a weekly radio show at said PUB from 6-7 pm; he was arrested at midnight, having apparently spent five hours in PUB after his show. (Well, actually, it was Banfield’s Bar and Grill.)
Now, why can’t we have Gil — or Kaz, if this is too risque for Gil — get into a similar predicanent? Wouldn’t that be fun?
Comment by johnw — July 2, 2008 @ 11:42 am
Goddamn it, it’s freakin’ JULY! School’s out, Milford!
Of course, IIRC, Milford football didn’t start until late October last year. Maybe those Valley Tech pranksters moved the stones Milford erected to keep track of the seasons.
Comment by sourbelly — July 2, 2008 @ 11:58 am
Where’s this conversation taking place? In panel 3, Gil looks like he’s standing in front of an interdimensional warp zone.
A pity Elmer got the cold shoulder from the Tigers. I was hoping for a cameo appearance by Magglio Ordonez or something.
Comment by El Santo — July 2, 2008 @ 12:33 pm
I still think the wetback and Branden-Oyl will elope. Then Neal can make our lives even
more miserable by dragging THAT on and on til B-O gets knocked up and he can go on and on
about teen pregnancy, lack of education, — wait – am I still typing?
Comment by Gil'sBarber — July 2, 2008 @ 12:35 pm
Red Berenson… I saw him score 6 goals in a game one time. Musta been 35-40 years ago. I was living in St. Louis, watched it on the new RCA color TV. My dad got it. There were only 3 stations in St. Louis at the time, maybe a couple UHF stations, I don’t remember. Another one of my favorite programs was Wrestling at the Chase, which was a pro wrestling program which originated from the Chase Park Plaza Hotel. I think they tore that hotel down… I moved out of St. Louis in 1980. Been back a few times. Last time was summer of 2005, so it wasn’t all that long ago. I stopped watching wrestling once I figured out it was all fake an hokey. I think Regis Philbin might have done a morning talk show in St. Louis back in the 70s, but I don’t remember for sure.
Comment by TCM — July 2, 2008 @ 12:50 pm
#2 johnw- Are you U of M? I’m a Spartan. This isn’t really the place for this, but Ron Mason never got busted. He probably has a larger bladder. And more wins.
Comment by Wing T Nut — July 2, 2008 @ 12:55 pm
Hey, check out panel 3 – Elmer’s got a meat nose to go with his meat hands today!
Gil, Panel 2: “No, that’s not what he said. He said he wasn’t recruiting a guy who’s dumb enough to wear his pinstripes sideways. And anyway, pinstripes don’t impress in Detroit. Wrong town, Elmullet!”
Comment by jules — July 2, 2008 @ 1:22 pm
Please don’t let this end happily.
Comment by gwilo — July 2, 2008 @ 1:24 pm
wing T — yep, I’m a Wolverine. But unlike some unreasonable A2 types, I always rooted for MSU except when they were playing Michigan. At the time of the Red “Whizzer” Berenson arrest, I was working in local radio in Ann Arbor, so I was familiar with the dramatis personae.
To be fair, aside from that one — ahem– “stain” on his record, Berenson has had a long and distinguished career as a coach. Almost as long and distinguished as Ron Mason.
And I would still love to see a summer storyline involving Gil getting arrested for peeing outside PUB.
Comment by johnw — July 2, 2008 @ 1:47 pm
#10 — I’d more like to have them replicate the storyline with that Detroit Lions coach. You know, the guy drove into the Wendy’s without his pants on. Tell me that isn’t a quality Gil Thorp storyline in the making right there.
Comment by El Santo — July 2, 2008 @ 2:16 pm
El Santo: You got me there. Great call. Kaz, arrested at FAST FOOD with no pants. Comics gold, n’est-ce pas?
Comment by johnw — July 2, 2008 @ 4:21 pm
oh, the fun I could have with this. My storyline would involve Gil calling in a favor from Marty Moon, who, remember, is owed BIGTIME by CurlyHorse. Marty then basically calls in the favor and has Andrew and Tickle-Me-Elmer rn off to Massachusetts and undergo a gay marriage ceremony. Then when immigration comes to deport the blushing “bride”, hilarity would ensue. Of course, we’d have to have a cameo by Fred Phelps and the rest of his bizarre flock.
Comment by Mooch — July 2, 2008 @ 6:07 pm
Why the hell hasn’t Kaz called his alma mater to see if there’s a spot? UNC’s* baseball team went, like, 20-33 this last season. Elmer can’t really hurt that, can he? And he can get a student visa off that, can’t he? (Of course, even if he can’t, they’ll write it like he can.)
Then the Rap Dog can go there for his junior and senior years, and poker-watching hijinx can ensue.
* – U. of Northern Colorado, of course.
Comment by Acme — July 2, 2008 @ 6:18 pm
Can Rubin just fast forward and say that Elmullet and family got deported and start the summer o’ fun???? I only wish that Rubin had spent this much time on a more interesting storyline i.e. Gail Martin or Clambake.
As the great Artie Lange from the Howard Stern show would say, this whole storyline belongs on the “who gives a sh#t” channel.
Comment by Regina — July 2, 2008 @ 6:26 pm
Which gang’s signs is Gil making in panel #3? MS-13?
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — July 2, 2008 @ 6:34 pm
Ok, so Marty Poon visits the Rep and does some things to shall we say “straighten” her clown collar and she saves the day with a special bill after all. Elmer saved (if staying in Milford can be that). Story over. Bring on Gail and the band! Or any story containing urea.
Lame is the sandwich I did not order!
Comment by SemperFi4evr — July 2, 2008 @ 7:39 pm
This storyline sucks. Please deport him and get on with the summer.
Comment by kenzo — July 3, 2008 @ 6:10 am
A special assembly on July 3? We are now 5 weeks past typical graduation dates. Elmer is leaving “early”. Ha! When’s regular graduation, August 1? Then the rest of the kids stay for another week or so before they take their finals and leave. I remember how the halls were less crowded during those days, and it was nice. If I was a returning Milford student, I wouldnt set foot in the building until October.
Comment by RobM — July 3, 2008 @ 3:18 pm
[...] Despite the make-over, I’ll guess he’s still an idiot. And now, based on one game a weird old friend of Gil’s watched, Jimmy’s presumably been drafted by the Detroit Tigers. Good job, Tigers. Is Matt Millen [...]
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[...] Really? I just pulled the Kalamazoo River reference out o’ my ass (first mentioned on July 2nd). If I didn’t figure the lead time on producing this comic was waaay more than three weeks, [...]
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