Today a new feature at This Week in Milford: Ralph Wiggum speaks to Chief Whigham! Ralph will offer some of his classic advice, and I’ll translate for poor Whigham…
Ralph on Panel 1: “Your eyes need diapers.”
Translation: Stop trying to draw sweat on characters. It just looks like hideous warts.
Ralph on Panel 2: “I bent my wookie.”
Translation: Hey, guess what? People’s arms don’t bend at 180 degree angles at the elbow, at least not without them screaming in horrible agony.
Ralph on Panel 3: “Your hair is tall and pretty.”
Translation: Keep up the good work on the random mullet appearances. (As long as you never show us Elmer Vargas again, that is…)
and bonus commentary:
Ralph on the current plot: “This feels cold and hurty.”
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P2: So what does Bryce’s shirt say: “Public Enemy” – a 90′s group where Flava Flav started out or “Pubic Heman” which he will fully flash to Ashley when he sees her thinking that will seal the deal for that date. Anybody else have other thoughts on this? PS Bryce – shirt or not you’re still a pussy.
Comment by SemperFi4evr — February 25, 2009 @ 9:38 am
P1: Public Enemy: or maybe he’s hinting to boosting the Nutboys…
Comment by SemperFi4evr — February 25, 2009 @ 9:40 am
Panel 1:
Is Ashley’s Head facing the right direction???
Panel 2:
Ashley: One more step and I Crush your Head!
Panel 3
Bryce is still working the Aligator/Shocker Pinky thingie with the right hand.
And OMG check out the LONG arm on Mullet Milford Guy. I have no Idea what he is looking at but can you imabine what the FREAK HAND must look like on an arm like that.
Comment by el lumpbo — February 25, 2009 @ 9:46 am
Bryce is pretty hard core to continue to play with his right arm totally twisted the wrong way and his ribcage separating like that.
Comment by Emily — February 25, 2009 @ 10:55 am
Brilliant, Jason. I hope Ralph comes back.
Comment by Doug Puthoff — February 25, 2009 @ 10:59 am
The lesson from this week, kids, is that Bryce Larkin thrives on physical and emotional abuse. Hit me, beat me, call me names!
Comment by johnw — February 25, 2009 @ 11:11 am
Nutboys: They…taste…like…BURNING!
Comment by Teasipper Academy — February 25, 2009 @ 11:23 am
Also, Bryce’s shirt says “Pubic Dilemma
Comment by Teasipper Academy — February 25, 2009 @ 11:26 am
These Nutboys taste like Grandma!
Comment by Sourbelly — February 25, 2009 @ 11:44 am
I thought that Bryce was advertising that he’s a “CUBAN SHEMALE” Or maybe his shirt says “TUBA ‘EM” although I don’t get the use of tuba as a verb.
Comment by Wikitorix — February 25, 2009 @ 11:55 am
Ha ha ha! I look forward to more installments from Ralph.
Comment by Gold-Digging Nanny — February 25, 2009 @ 11:55 am
LOL Ralph…you’re funnier than Chief Whigham (and much smarter!)
Panel one: Does any human even ATTEMPT to hold a basketball the way AA is holding it?
Panel Two: AA to Bryce “Talk to the freak hand!”
Panel three: The only mullet person I ever want to see again is the adrodynous mullet person.
BTW Jason, what happened to the best (or worst) of 2008? You never told us the results!!!
Comment by Regina — February 25, 2009 @ 12:44 pm
Oh yea, Bryce’s shirt says “Public Employee’s Federation” (A shout out to my union!)
Comment by Regina — February 25, 2009 @ 12:45 pm
Or possible “Public Enema”…I always thought Bryce was a little kinky.
Comment by Regina — February 25, 2009 @ 12:47 pm
Since he thinks highly of himself and he is in “Marketing Mode”… the shirt says Pubic Gem
Comment by el lumpbo — February 25, 2009 @ 12:58 pm
#13 Regina: “Public Enema”. Brilliant!
Comment by Sourbelly — February 25, 2009 @ 1:22 pm
Bryce got his Public Enemy shirt at the same place Sackodog bought his Ramones wear.
Comment by Ned Ryerson — February 25, 2009 @ 1:52 pm
#13 Regina: Concur with #15 Sourbelly. Brilliant!
Penultimate of honorable of mentions to all the others.
Comment by SemperFi4evr — February 25, 2009 @ 3:01 pm
I don’t know how to work in “He tells me to burn things”, but I will. More Ralph. We need Ralph!
Comment by andy — February 25, 2009 @ 3:03 pm
Regina – nothing wrong with the basketball pose – she’s probably practicing foul shots. Looks like good fundamentals. Elbow is facing the floor. Maybe more later.
Comment by Rob — February 25, 2009 @ 5:32 pm
Thank you, thank you for all the kudos, guys. I also think the shirt could say PUBIC ENEMA, which makes Bryce even more repulsive.
Comment by Regina — February 26, 2009 @ 7:07 am
Looks like Rubin & Whigam ought to branch out into an on-line/mail order store: “Milford Mementos”. There’s a big market for a line of PUBIC ENEMA shirts / hats / belts / ties / do-rags etc. Not to mention the plethora of freak objects etc. Just what the country needs to get the economy rolling again.
Comment by SemperFi4evr — February 26, 2009 @ 9:40 am
[...] now it’s time for another in the incredibly-too-rare series: Ralph Wiggum reviews! So Ralph, what do you [...]
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