3/20/09
“Wait…you’re still in our house?”
“Yep, but the peyote is starting to kick in…I see…a creepy portrait of your kids and their dates. Awful, awful clothes.”
“That’s them all right. What’s with the basketball jersey over the popped collar? My son is such a douche.”
“You can see this too?”
“Of course. Why would I let you take all the peyote?”
“Ahhhh, so I’m seeing a strange message…’Flossing Straightjacket’? ‘Glossy ButttJack-off’?? Anyway, it’s telling me that just ’cause your kids are dating two local ass-hats, doesn’t mean you should judge our whole town to be ass-hats. You have to meet us all first, and then you can realize we’re all ass-hats!”
“But they’re ass-hat criminals!”
“They’re not even accused ass-hat criminals…”
“Well yeah they are. I accused them. So there ya go. And that Dylan punk was already involved in a robbery, so shut the f*ck up, Gil. You don’t know what you’re even talking about!”
“Er…yeah, I get that a lot. Wait, I know what it says: ‘Lost Ass-hatjackers’…I bet that’s what it is. More peyote please.”
3/21/09
“…so you’re judging Milford by the color of our pasty white skin, are you? Just because we whities are the new face of crime, doesn’t mean you should judge us! I mean haven’t you as uh… black? Latino…? Hawaiian? Turkish…? Seriously, what the hell race are you?”
“Easy, the same as Clambake.”
“Ah…ha. OK then, I’m not sure if I’m able to offend you by playing this race card here. Apparently at the very least it gives you hideous scar faces on my way out the door. So, anyway…I’m gonna go swim nude in your fountain. Thanks again for the drugs.”
Later:
“That was quick.”
“Well I am an expert javelin catcher, as you know…”
“Did it hurt?”
“Well, the father was black, I’m pretty sure. Not that I knew that while his pants were still on.”
The Internet (TM) making asshat funny since 1999.
Comment by bevo — March 21, 2009 @ 2:15 pm
Los Nut Jacks! Son mierda!
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — March 21, 2009 @ 3:13 pm
3/20, panel 3: You can point out that the grand jury hasn’t returned an indictment, Gil, but it’s only impressive at Tony Soprano’s house.
Comment by Philip — March 21, 2009 @ 5:02 pm
I tells ya true – Los Straitjackets.
Comment by Sgt. Saunders — March 21, 2009 @ 6:28 pm
LMAO Jason !!! brb after I clean off my monitor
Comment by Gil'sBarber — March 21, 2009 @ 7:25 pm
they need to hire you as the writer. the story still wouldn’t make sense, but at least it would be funny as hell.
Comment by xy — March 21, 2009 @ 7:31 pm
Ditto of #5. Hail Jason, the penultimate artiste of snark.
And a most honorable of mention to #2. – Don. I want to get me one of them shirts!
Comment by SemperFi4evr — March 21, 2009 @ 8:09 pm
#4 ya beat me to it. Surpassingly current musical reference, Gil, color me very very shocked.
Comment by Emily — March 21, 2009 @ 8:56 pm
tho’ now that I read..y’know..the words …like in detail…I see that Jason does not steer us wrong and he snuck in a “Los asshatjackers.” That’s Classy right there. Nodding the fairly obscure musical reference without being like poor ol me and shouting I GET IT! OO! OOO!
Comment by Emily — March 21, 2009 @ 9:02 pm
I think the shirt says I LOST MY straightjacket. The I and my are conveiently covered up.
Gil is so smug in panel three, claiming he used the O.J. defense on people whom were not even sure what race they are, as their ethnicity changes from day to day.
Gil, you’re an asshat and an assclown. (To quote Michael Bolton from Office Space.)
Comment by Regina — March 22, 2009 @ 5:39 am
Yeah, I didn’t know the Lawson’s were black. But I haven’t been following this strip much recently. Elmer really killed it for me.
Comment by Ennui Willie Keeler — March 22, 2009 @ 8:08 am
I never get references to current music, and I’m afraid to click on that “Sennheiser Swarovski-Encrusted Microphones” link. I’m old.
Comment by Sourbelly — March 22, 2009 @ 9:44 am
Los Nut Jacks – the Mexican version of Nutboys! They’re El Shitty!
Comment by Sgt. Saunders — March 22, 2009 @ 10:17 am
Or El Meirda, if you can actually understand Spanish. My derivative, my bad…Delete, delete..#13..
Comment by Sgt. Saunders — March 22, 2009 @ 10:19 am
Respectfully sorry, Sgt Saunders… you’re now Cpl Saunders [tic]. See #2.
Comment by SemperFi4evr — March 22, 2009 @ 10:42 am
Exactly. That was the point of #14. My bad. I’ll sit in the penalty box for two minutes and feel shame. Then I get free.
On another matter, check Comics Curmudgeon for agreement on Los Straitjackets.
Comment by Sgt. Saunders — March 22, 2009 @ 4:15 pm
On 3-21… Somebody please explain to me where Gil’s middle and Ring fingers went? Did he lose them in a card game… Those bookies can play rough!!!
Comment by el lumpbo — March 23, 2009 @ 9:42 am
El lumpbo, Gil is flashing a gang sign at the Larkins. If they don’t do as he says, Coach Kaz will pay them a little visit.
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — March 23, 2009 @ 10:11 am
The sign flashed with the right hand to the Larkins means one thing, but the sign flashed at Mimi with the left hand means another thing entirely…or maybe it means the same thing either way, hence Mrs. Larkin’s nervy comment.
Comment by Ned Ryerson — March 23, 2009 @ 10:37 am
[...] nothing like a sanctimonious Gil using his oratory prowess to put people in his place (like when he called Mr. Larkin a racist. Remember that? That was [...]
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