And Now, Some Poorly-Thought Out Analysis for Your Benefit

4/30/09

First, a quick programming note: I apologize for the high percentage of two comic posts lately. My non-blogging life has chosen to take priority over Milford life (I know…the horror!) I’ll do my best to keep this site updated as often as I can. Thanks for staying tuned!

Now on to some half-assed analysis (halfassnalyis?): First we get a return visit from “Phil”, nobody’s favorite character! Remember when hilarious Phil brought a pith helmet to Gil’s office? Neither do I. Phil is rightfully upstaged by a pair of mugs that surely stand for “Killer Mullet” and “That Dipshit Coach.”

Then some conversation occurs in a series of unnecessarily changing backgrounds. So let’s just leave it at the fact that Gil’s hair and neck are highly displeased with the fact that the world is mocking him, even if he could go on TV to be mocked further.

5/1/09

…and now a series of old standards, to make it easier for me to check out.

Panel 1 Old Standard: Hey look it’s that thing that happens once a season…the panel where two random students discuss some exaggerated version of the current plot. “I hear he was nude in the igloo.” “…and his nipples were chaffed by the herd of penguins!”

Panel 2 Old Standard: Oh boy, a shot where some jerk has his shirt halfway off. I’d link to some others for reference, but who needs to see Gil ogling his students more than once today?

Panel 3 Old Standard: And finally we have a non-sequitur conversation that makes no sense. Now I can really check out. (Yeah I know, I don’t have to go very far, do I?)

Crap on T.A.P.

4/28/09

Who is Bruce Pazner? He’s the only guy in the media that Gil dislikes more than Marty Moon (who may be a jerk, but he’s Gil’s jerk, to kill as he sees fit.) Read all about it here.

And speaking of everyone’s favorite jerk: Marty Moon is apparently on Twitter! I’d say more, but I want to be the only media outlet in the universe not talking about #%$*ing Twitter.

4/29/09

I don’t know why Gil doesn’t just embrace his new-found viral video fame…I mean if you recall, the whole thing was AWESOME. So awesome that a douche like Bruce Pazner is now using a phrase like “en fuego” to describe it, which causes the edge of his douchy panel to bevel.

All-color Gil Thorp! (Prettier in Pink?)

For some time now, readers of this blog have been teased with the prospect of colorized Gil Thorp. While the syndicate doesn’t run a color version, apparently at least one paper, The Louisville Courier Journal, prints the strip in glorious techni-color! (Perhaps this has something to do with it also being the home paper of the real Rick Bozich. Or perhaps not.) Faithful reader Gil’s Barber, with thankfully too much time on her hands, as well as the ability to trick her company into paying for the postage, recently sent me a bunch of originals, which I eventually got around to scanning and uploading.

So, with only minor further ado, I present nine recent comics of COLOR-GIL, in all it’s glorious pinkiness. (Why so pink? Because apparently “Swifti-Mart red” was a copyrighted color.) Enjoy!

Weren’t you glad to learn the Larkins were just as white as Gil? It makes more sense in the Thorpiverse that way, don’t you think?

…more like 120,000 snooze.

4/25/09

Marjie Ducey brings up the only thing anyone cares about (with the possible exception of whether Andrew Gregory and Gil are the same 53-year-old man): the number of views of Gil’s wacky viral video! She even takes to chasing Gil down the street as he tries to escape his new-found fame…

4/27/09

I dunno about you, but that cyborg ump is kinda freakin’ me out. Oh and apparently something important is about to happen. Which is good because maybe then we’ll have something to talk about.

Uninteristing Mysteries of Milford!

Milford Mysteries solved…while new mysteries arise!

Milford Mystery solved:
How does Bill Hawkins get all the babes?
With that stylish Milford hoodie Sweatshirt, or course!

New Milford Mystery:
Why is Molly wearing two hoodies backwards?

Milford Mystery solved:
Why is Robb Larue so intent on getting home to do his history report?
As a 37-year-old Senior, he figures it’s about time to graduate.

New Milford Mystery:
Why doesn’t 43-year old Shemp Dumbo feel the same way?

Milford Mystery solved:
That thing I just said about Sherpa Trombone above…
Shumbo Terpwad is as moronic as he is ugly as he is old. He doesn’t even realize he’s been in high school for 28 years.

New Milford Mystery:
Why is Thumpbo Shep-hole suddenly turning into Electro?

Yo, a little help?

4/22/09

Thanks to Molly Kinsella getting lost in the Crock desert for several days, where she proceeds to hallucinate about tennis balls, the Milford girls lose the game!

4/23/09

Meanwhile, a reluctant (mostly reluctant to have to look at the ugliest mug in Milford. Ugh, no more close-ups of Thumb Poser please!) Robb Larue is about to give Shep the bad news that Bill “Opie” Hawkins is already putting the moves on Molly. I mean, who else would it be? Also, he should explain that a wingman can only do his job for the pilot when the pilot didn’t previously crash face-first into a chemical waste dump.

And even more meanwhiler, I would have never imagined a legitimate comic would ever attempt a Gil Thorp cross-over, but apparently such a thing has now happened. Thanks to alert reader Debbie, here’s this Wednesday’s Lio:

I’d have to say the weirdest thing about this is that Lio is being attacked by the Frank Bolle-era Gil Thorp characters… More specifically, it’s the characters from March 4th of last year!

Thumbs up to Mark Tatulli for this cross-over, which still makes way more sense than the real strip ever does! Thoughts?

Meanwhile, while viral Gil has been quarantined…

“Hey girls, how about instead of not hitting the ball, you hit it at the pitcher?”

“Brilliant! Almost as brilliant as your idea to make us wear our basketball uniforms to the game!”

“Well, I’m no viral Gil Thorp, but as the Dickinson High School Softball coach, I do have a hilarious name. Pointing at myself while talking strategy is just icing on the cake.”

“Ewww! That’s not icing.”

Up Next: Gil Goes Bacterial

4/19/09

4/20/09

Gil’s gone viral, as evidenced by Coach Kaz’s Crapple computer with the giant blank buttons!

58, 372 views? It’s only a matter of time before he gets remixed in a thousand stupid ways, a la the dramatic chipmunk:

Please feel free to discuss your favorite Gil Thorp remix that hasn’t been made yet. In the meantime I’m going to sit here and quietly be both horrified and fascinated with whatever is going on with Kaz’s hair…