5/22/09
…and so plot 67J is quickly resolved! On to disturbing side-plot mystery 67K: Why does Gil keep the picture of Dump Shrembo open on his computer when he’s not even there? I guess we can hope that he’s just too dumb to figure out how to close or navigate away from that browser window. But even so, why did he move his dildo baseball trophy so conveniently next to his computer?
5/23/09
“Way to admit you didn’t see me drink, Narkins!”
“Sorry, Shinbone, I couldn’t lie! I wanted to say I saw you drinking…Too bad I couldn’t, and all I could admit to was that I heard you were ‘fooling around’ with liquor bottles, which admittedly sounds much more disgusting than it really was.”
“Well thanks to whatever you told the coach, (which now that I think about it, is much less damning than the photo itself), I’m suspended. Watch out! I’m gonna come up with a fresh new way to seek revenge!”
“How did you manage to insert parentheses in your dialogue?”
“Shut up! (Narkins!)”
Later:
“Hey Old Robbb! Know of any fresh new ways to seek revenge?”
“Yeah, in this movie that came out when I was a freshman, the nerds put Liquid Heat in the jock straps of all the football players. Since you enjoy the internet, you can watch it here, if you want!”
“Well only if I have a Hulu account, but sure that looks great! A movie prank from 25 years ago is way fresher than my ‘loosen the salt shaker’ gag…”
“Yeah, it’s so fresh, idiot bloggers have even been referencing that movie recently for no apparent reason. Have fun with your prank. I’m off to my AARP meeting.”
Everyone slept in today, so I go first: Who the hell wears sliding pads?? I may have seen them in girls softball games, but I cant believe real men (boys) wear sliding pads. Did they forget football’s over? And wouldnt each guy bring his own personal equipment to the game? How would they pull this off?
Next up: steel jockstraps. No wonder Robb is hurting.
Comment by Rob — May 23, 2009 @ 10:25 am
Gil’s starting to suspend players for being stupid? Who will be left on the team to play?
Comment by Scott de B. — May 23, 2009 @ 12:26 pm
Actually, I played girls’ softball (25 years ago, admittedly, but the game was played the same way in The Olden Days), and I have to ask – what the hell are “sliding pads”? I’m pretty sure I never wore them, with or without Atomic Liniment. I prefer Ben-Gay anyway. Mmm, wintergreen!
Also, is this why Gil got bonked in the head with a baseball a few weeks ago? So it would make “sense” when he suddenly figures out the innernets? Shoot. I thought it was so we could all see Gil getting bonked in the head with a baseball. That was plenty good enough for me!
Comment by jules — May 23, 2009 @ 12:40 pm
“There’s no such thing as privacy or anonymity anymore.” Henceforth, Gil will be installing web cams in his charges bedrooms, bathrooms, locker rooms, etc. He will see you when you’re sleeping, he’ll know when you’re awake, he’ll know if you’ve been bad or good, so be friggin’ good b/c he is going to post all of that stuff on the internet.
Comment by Tim — May 23, 2009 @ 3:30 pm
I know this is a foregone conclusion, but based on penel three, strip one: Gil is kinda creepy.
I like the way Bill’s hat comes flying off all because his ballsacks are on fire. Tanks Jason, I knew I had seen this senario before, but couldn’t remember where. Like you said, maybe because it was like 25 years ago. But then, Gil doesn’t even know how to use the internets, so why would Rubin referencing a movie from the ’80s surprise me.
Comment by Regina — May 23, 2009 @ 5:59 pm
I mean “Thanks”. Nope, not in PUB with Gil, just beat.
Comment by Regina — May 23, 2009 @ 6:00 pm
I know you’re not in PUB, Regina. I’M in PUB with Gil and Kaz drinkin’ that delicious Vedka Vodka! Barkeep! Another round! Woo hoo!
See ya at the Bucket, Regina!
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — May 23, 2009 @ 7:47 pm
“Sliding pads” appear to be a forgotten part of baseball equipment. With the beautifully groomed infields of today they’re probably unnecessary, but when I played in school back in the Upper Paleolithic they were essential– the basepaths were often hardpan.
Pads were quilted, and extended from hip to knee, and prevented most bad bruises and strawberries, not to mention the occasional laceration from a sharp stone.
But the Milford delinquents’ painting the captain’s pads with Atomic Balm or Hot Stuff or whatever can only be explained by the strip’s squirmily “family oriented” nature. You paint the guy’s jock, and let it dry, then watch him light up when he starts to sweat. Regina, as usual, is on the right track.
Comment by vaganova — May 23, 2009 @ 8:26 pm
Thirty years ago, when I was a junior in high school, someone put “Icy Hot” in my shorts. Was not funny. The way Shepp looked in panel 2 of the 5-22, I was hoping he’d find some more dramatic way of revenge than putting something in Hawkins’ sliding pads. Gunplay, anyone?
Comment by Doug Puthoff — May 24, 2009 @ 10:20 am
yup
Comment by knoxy — May 24, 2009 @ 12:59 pm
I’ve got to admit, Gil Thorp never fails to impress. Just when you think they can’t possibly come up with a dumber story line, they come through.
Comment by Bryan — May 25, 2009 @ 12:00 pm
I predict that “atomic liniment in sliding pads” will soon overtake “onion on my belt” and “ass in mom jeans” in frequency of search terms used to find This Week in Milford
Comment by Ned Ryerson — May 26, 2009 @ 5:56 am