Sounds to me like I have a problem.

6/30/09

7/1/09

So I am literally falling asleep as I write this.. Looks like these comics are as interesting as I am tired. On the plus side, this lame plot is finally limping to the finish, which means at least we’ll get something else soon. I’d write more but zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Where’s a bus when you need one?

6/27/09

6/29/09

“So, wait…you decided to go home…and text me that you were gonna rat me out?”
“Yep, and now for some reason we’re talking face-to-face again.”
“Yeah that makes as much sense as everything else. Since when did you finally figure out I was a total asshole?”
“The 423rd time you did the salt shaker gag, I saw how deeply it affected sodium-intolerant Marjie Ducey. So now instead of being the guy who is friends with the biggest asshole in school and therefore kind of an asshole himself, I will be the guy who sold out his only friend to the coach who will be too drunk at 9AM to remember I told him anything at all.”
“Amazing. And pathetic. Can’t you just literally throw me under a bus? That would be much more satisfying for everyone. Even me.”
“So true. And if school continues past July 4th I’m throwing myself under there too.”

Normally he goes to the restroom to work on his shaker…

6/25/09

When your team only has one good player, when that player gets suspended for something nonsensical, it appears your team stinks. It stinks so bad it can get single-handedly beat by Braidy-Mc AwkwardBatHolder. (Seriously. Try swinging a bat while holding it like she does and hitting the ball more than three feet.) How the hell do you get a triple while doing that? Oh yeah. Because Milford is awful without Molly-kini.

6/26/09

Speaking of stupid, how long does it take to tell the story of “I found Bill’s phone and sent that picture myself.” Oh yeah, about as long a it takes to “work on the salt shaker.” Where’s Kaz when you need him to apply a massive beating?

Also, is there booze in those milkshakes? Why does Robbbbb care how many the softball team is drinking? Perhaps they’re Nutboy flavor and he’s horrified. Mmmmm, Nutboy milkshakes. They taste as good as this plot resolution!

What a bunch of pushies.

6/23/09

“Hey, who doesn’t like me?”
“Everyone.”
“OK, well then who doesn’t like me and has a stupid name?”

Later…

“Hey, can I pick a fight with you? That kid with the pool cue hands is actually the one who set me up, but if I fight him, I’ll just get splinters…”
“Sure, let’s act as though we’re gonna fight to raise interest in tomorrow’s comic! But then…”

6/24/09

“…we could decide to not do anything at all.”
“Ease up, friend. If you resolve this nonsense now, there’s more time for the summer adventures of Coach Kaz, P.I.!”
“OK, I’ll try, but I think that the womens’ softball season is also still going on or something. Their new thing is to hit the ball with their crotch.”
“Now this I gotta see!”
“Well then you should check out panel three…”

Maybe I’ll Gouge My Eyes Out Too.

6/20/09

6/22/09

So after a promising Friday ending with local radio tools wearing cardboard boxes, we regress back to the boring adventures of lame couple Bill and Molly. Who really wants to see Bill throw rocks like a girl all night? Clearly not Mrs. Kinsella, who would rather gouge her eyes out than take any more of his fruity pebble throwing.

And two more weeks of baseball? Even the wacky Japanese  character on Molly’s shirt is pissed off at hearing that.

Pearls of Wisdomlessness

6/18/09

Sorry for not posting this yesterday, but every time I looked at the panel of Principal Pearl talking about “sexting” , I had to go puke again. Which is especially unfortunate since the current plot has nothing really to do with “sexting.” But I guess “forwarding dumb pictures on your phone” is less of a buzz word for this comic to pretend to be topical…

6/19/09

And so if anyone thought there were any rails this plot was still residing on (which is highly debatable), it has now flown completely off them.

Narkins and Molly suspended? Seems unfair. But then when you think of how much they annoyed us recently, it is actually pretty appropriate. Now if only Shemp Dumbo gets the death penalty we can all be satisfied.

Pearl only consulting the coaches with this suspension, not any other faculty members? Seems nonsensical. But then when you realize due to budget cuts, the only non-coaching staff member at Milford is now Phil, and he’s a total douche, with way too much time on his hands, it makes a lot more sense.

Gil officially towing the line on this suspension call, but then suggesting Mr. Hawkins sue the school for all they’re worth, thus possibly destroying Gil’s only source of income? Yeah, that’s Gil for you. So that makes as much sense as it ever did.

And cutting to Perp Prep Spotlight, where nipple-less Sack-o-Bull and Hatt-Full-o-Twinkies mock the entire  situation? Pretty awesome actually. At least something good has come out of all this.

It was also sent to the Principality of Monaco, but who’s counting?

5/16/09

5/17/09

Random ramblings o’ the day:

• I’d feel bad for Bill and his continuous head and eye explosions, but then I remembered he’s a tool and nobody likes him.
• Another reason for Molly to be angry: Bill is such a tease as to walk around in the “about to cop a feel” pose at all times, but he never has the stones to go through with it.
• Could someone write to Whigham and ask why the only t-shirt that Milford girls wear is that damned Hello Kitty shirt? It’s been passed around so much the nose has worn off.
• Based on Milford’s known geography, the five-state area this photo was sent to: Michigan, Idaho, Tennessee, Arizona and New Hampshire. Fortunately for Molly, nobody but Brenda Larkin even knew what the hell it was.

On the plus side, Marty invents the hat-flask.

6/13/09

6/15/09

Hey, it’s the Larkin twins! Remember them? They were involved in the winter plot that dragged on and on and then just abruptly ended. So it’s only natural that we see them again in the spring when now that baseball season has been dragged halfway into June. Good thing Brenda is there to interpret the very-zoomed in shot of Molly in a scandalously skimpy ridiculously lame outfit. How long will this nonsense take to play out?

And more importantly, why is Marty Moon wearing a hat? I imagine it must be a new way to deploy alcohol directly into his blood stream.