Celebrating Win#1 with a #2

4/29/10

Hey, baseball is starting already, only on April 29th? Actually, even by Rubin’s standards we’re behind schedule…Last year’s opener was on April 14th. If you find today’s “action” of reading a list of names and positions as interesting as I do, why not read similar content on Wikipedia?

4/30/10

While the opponent’s are baffled by the home run ball that continues to go upwards forever, it’s time for the Mudlarks to celebrate. It’s great to “go wild” and all, but did you really have to go and take a dump in the dugout, dude?

That’s where I saw the leprechaun! He told me to burn things.

4/27/10

And now it’s time for another in the incredibly-too-rare series: Ralph Wiggum reviews! So Ralph, what do you think?

Ralph: Oh boy, sleep! That’s where I’m a viking!

I agree, I couldn’t stay awake through this verbose quagmire of baseball line-ups and pseudo-strategy either.

Ralph: My cat’s name is Mittens.

4/28/10

How about this one, Ralph?

Ralph: Look, it’s Lisa, and she’s winning us back!

Ummm, not yet she’s not. Also, look, it’s the return of “ease up”…sort of.

Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! I’m learn-ding.

That’s more than I’m doing. Smell ya later, Ralph.

Jocks, Tuck: Pricks

4/24/10

4/26/10

The lesson is, as always, high school students are pricks. The jocks are too dumb to realize that it’s the music geeks who get all the action, and the musicians think that just because Marty Moon and Andy Capp attended their most recent show that their band only attract alcoholic degenerate cartoon characters. (Well that’s actually true. And not a bad thing. )

But even so, that bass player is a Tuck-head. He thinks they had  sub-par show because he unwittingly spent the whole time facing the back wall.

Sooner? No, later.

4/21/10

It’s about that time in the plot where we slog slowly through the stories…we get beat over the head with the same plot points ’til we’re bludgeoned into a coma. All I know is the Thorps better get the  alignment on their Geo Tracker checked.

Oh and thanks for the heads up that the third panel takes place “Later…” I was convinced that for once, this comic was going to start moving sequentially backwards through time, but that narration box sure saved me.

4/22/10

Slim chance Slim Chance can keep singing AND pitching, as he has dislocated his wrist in a flamboyant singing accident. And non-news alert: Everyone hates Cassie. Her mom has laced those cookies with arsenic to put her out of her misery.

4/23/10

I’m surprised that…

A. Robbbb is still a student. He was 37 last baseball season if I recall correctly.
B. Bryce hasn’t dropped dead from that horrible gash to his temple.
C. These two guys aren’t complaining that SlimJim has the words wrong….It’s “…going south to Mexico”, dammit!

When the Man Comes Around

4/17/10

“What made me come out? What made YOU come out, Gil? I heard you attend, like one practice a year!”
“Oh, I’ll be here more often this year.We just installed a new kegerator in the dugout.”
“That’s great. Do you want to hear more about my analogy that sounds suspiciously like masturbation?”
“Not really, no.”
“That’s probably for the best. I wouldn’t want the weird hunched-over fifty-year-olds here to think I’m weird.”

4/19/10

Ironic that the real Jeff Karoub appears to be a musician, whereas the one here is just OHMYDEARGOD, Whigham, don’t ever show a close-up of that face again!

4/20/10

I wish the two guys who look like they just crawled up out of the sewer underneath the toxic waste dump would quit talking about how anyone else seems weird. Did Bryce Larkin get a chin implant?

Doing my best to ignore them, as hard as that is, I have to admit I’m mildly charmed by the character of Derek Slim-Jim Chance. If you want to put some music to his pitchin’ words, try the Johnny Cash version heard here. (Maybe that explains why he put on a black shirt in the middle of practice?) And then why not listen to some more Johnny instead of whatever else it is you do?

The normal warped perspective

4/15/10

Since Whigham has somehow made the whole concept of the girls’ locker room anti-erotic, we can just ignore the second and third panels. Besides, I am horrified by yet totally drawn to the insane perspective in Panel 1. Is that door 20 feet tall and 10 feet wide? Hey Whigham here’s a link for ya. (And make sure to read the “Warnings” section!)

4/16/10

Cassie might get a better reception if she didn’t hold the only bat hostage while playing second base.

Meanwhile, looks like Derek is  gonna try to do both baseball and the band AT THE SAME TIME (crazy!). Which means that No Chance and the Rim Shots may be on the skids, thanks to Yoko Gil trying to break up the band to get a pitcher who may or may not be any good. I’m not really sure how Gil’s unmotivational speech convinced SlimJim to join the Milford team, but then again, I really don’t understand anything that guy says anymore*. Perhaps the Pot Shots are also in trouble since their drummer can only afford one drumstick.

Also, looks like the character of Trevor Kohn is a tribute to a real-life Trevor who sadly recently passed away. No joke there. Just sayin’.

And I just noticed I’ve tagged the last three posts as “Boredom in Milford”. Not a good sign.

*Strike “anymore”. Replace with “ever”

Pettiness Junction

4/13/10

The Thorps may be 183 years old combined, but they have the mental maturity of seven-year-olds.

Gil: “Hey, I didn’t care about where you were the last two years, but then my friend saw you in a bar doing something other than pitching. So now I want you to pitch for the team I don’t really care about either! Also, where is that bar?”

Mimi: “So Ray Ritchie is apparently a lowlife. Really, I have very little info to back that up, but I learned to be judgmental like that from my husband. And I figure it’s entirely appropriate to act like a petty bitch to the students.”

4/14/10

Believe me, lady. I have a feeling it’s not going to be easy for any of us.

Get the Tuck out of here

4/9/10

When Derek says he pitches for himself, I was hoping it was a play on words and he meant he was “pitching for himself” by promoting his band. Then I was forced to look up his nostrils and forgot all about that.

4/10/10

Hey, it’s Tuck the bass player! He seems as interested in being here as we are. He’s probably off to another, more interesting comic to perform. Like Marmaduke. Meanwhile, Gil has died, been stuffed and placed in his favorite chair.

4/12/10

“He wants to do an activity for the sake of ENJOYMENT? What, is he f$%#ing nuts? Why do something for fun when he can join a perennially losing Milford team and be not coached at all by me?”
“Oh, so suddenly, you’re not dead.”