6/24/10
“Wow, they did the WAVE? Really? That’s so massively…lame.”
“You’re the new kid, right?”
“Yeah, I don’t really get why you guys all like things that suck.”
Later…Gil yells at Slim Pickens for the most bizarre reason imaginable:
“You had players in uniform enjoying themselves? Do you realize what that means?”
“No idea, chief. You just mad that my video finally knocked your ‘baseball blooper video’ out of the spotlight?”
“Yep, that’s it. Even that douche Phil switched to the new video.”
6/25/10
Is it me or does every June wrap up with Gil blurting the same basic thought?
“Gosh I sure don’t know what the heck [BLANK] is, but I guess I have the next two wacky months to figure it out! But seriously, this is the last I’ll ever mention it.”
Fill in the blank word key below:
2010: “Alt Country”
2009: “Twitter”
2008: “Illegal immigration”
2007: “the responsibility a high school coach should have to not let a creepy old chronic liar run his team for a season”
(Yep, sorry, I’m behind. Next couple days coming soon…!)
So … this is the school that, last year, was so uptight that they suspended two players over a cardboard swimsuit. Now it’s OK for a player, presumably a legal minor, to work in a bar while two of his coaches get commode-hugging drunk right in front of him. Consistency, thy name is not Milford.
Comment by Philip — June 28, 2010 @ 7:44 am
With homage to Gil’sBarber #18 last set:
Slim Pickens and his cavalcade of losers soon to go big time. Cassie’s past indiscretions forces Slim to dump her skanky ass but inspires a new song that gets them a major recording contract:
Cassie, you unclassy lassie,
I listened to all your drivel,
then you made Mr. Sprinkle shrivel.
Oh Cassie, you broke my heart.
Cassie, you unclassy lassie,
We kicked it up a notch,
and you rotted out my crotch.
Oh Cassie, you stomped my soul.
Cassie, you unclassy lassie,
I’m so glad to be rid o’ ya,
You gave me wicked clamidia.
Oh Cassie, why’d you take me down?
Comment by semperfi4evr — June 28, 2010 @ 7:47 am
When Gil and his entourage visit “The Pit”, they break out the tablecloth, which is reserved for VIPs.
Comment by Ned Ryerson — June 28, 2010 @ 9:14 am
Gil insists on a tablecloth whenever he goes out, because after several bottles of Natty Boh, he likes to do that magic trick where he yanks the cloth out from under everything on the table. Not that it works, mind you, because he’s full of Natty Boh, but he likes to try. The local constabulary won’t be called till Gil jumps up on stage and tries to get the band to sing “Workin’ for the Weekend” with him. Ah, Saturday night in Milford…
Comment by jules — June 28, 2010 @ 10:18 am
That is one creepy hand that SlimJim has. It’s as big as his head.
This will be the fill in for 2011: “why I got fired for drinking during school hours and slacking”
As usual, there are unanswered questions at the end of the school year:
What happened to SlimJim’s feud with Bryce?
Why does Milford’s school year always end in July?
How come the janitor (too lazy to look up his name) doesn’t want to go back to school?
What about Drunken Daly’s anger management/alcohol issue?
Is Mr. Kessler getting any trim?
Where is Mr. Bakst?
Comment by Regina — June 28, 2010 @ 2:46 pm
1. what happen to the angry bass player
2. did the video guy get to see cassie naked
3. what happen to steve luhm
4. is pizza ray still i jail
5. is mimi still with the wine bottle
6. any news on the chick with skin cancer who works with creepers ,lurkers and drunks
7. where the hell is mr baskt ??/
Comment by mr120zcan — June 28, 2010 @ 4:57 pm
And what are the odds that the band’s big gig will conflict with the ballgame, setting up a strained parallel to Cassie and the pizza flipper?
Comment by vaganova — June 29, 2010 @ 2:29 pm
[...] imaginary tire fire.” “Uh, wow, that was a lot of trippin’ balls talk. But since nobody seems to care that we’re recycling all our panels now, let’s just pick this up again [...]
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