8/27/10
It’s over?
8/28/10
It’s OVER! Hooray! And to celebrate, Chris Stiles is smothered by three giant sets of hands, while simultaneously being clubbed with the world’s ugliest trophy. He unfortunately survives, only to taunt us with the prospect of hiding in the bushes nearby, biding his time, waiting to bore us all whenever things get too interesting in Milford.
Sorry Chris, I think you’re gonna be in hiding for a while.
8/30/10
OH PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE LET THAT BE WATER.
8/31/10
I may not know the best way to show (please let that be) water dripping off a face, but now I know the worst.
So what do we know about Cody Exner? That he was a freshman RB/DB at Tri-Valley in New York last year, and his name is an anagram of “coy ex-nerd.” What does this all mean? That I’ve spent more time researching Cody than any other character this entire year. Mostly to get my mind off the (please let that be) water-in-the-face fiasco.
I think somebody is shooting the players with a Super Soaker Oozinator. (Major pumping is required.)
Comment by Ned Ryerson — August 31, 2010 @ 4:56 am
I’m hoping that’s just jizz and not his face melting.
The whole boring golf thing is over, just like that? No Ben Franklin hustler to liven things up? ANd as usual, Gil bailed out of coaching the hobo team just as soon as he learned he mayhave to do a little work. The only work he did the whole summer was browbeat Dickish Dad Carl Peake and turned him into a complete wimp.
What a crap story. Rubin, you owe us!
Comment by Regina — August 31, 2010 @ 5:15 am
“Kaz, don’t tell me you’re doing some actual coaching this year.”
“I’m not! They’re doing that all by themselves, honest!”
Comment by Scott de B. — August 31, 2010 @ 5:25 am
So what life troubling issue will Cody Exner have that will cause him to slip half way through the season and take Milford’s record with it. Will a neighbor see him getting drunk because his brother is in prison? Will he be falsely accussed of robbing the Swifty Mart of all it’s Nut Boys? Did he beat down his brother with a tree limb while they were smoking some meth? (You have to live in GA to get that one.)
Comment by DieClambakeDie — August 31, 2010 @ 5:34 am
Milford players have to be TOUGH. So they spray their faces with lye causing the skin to melt.
Comment by Elmo — August 31, 2010 @ 6:51 am
Chris, you won’t be easy to find once Carl Peake pockets you.
I don’t quite get how melting your face makes one better, but, hey, this is why Gil and Kaz get the big bucks, right? And speaking of, Kaz, I want your report on what you did this summer on my desk in one hour. My desk! One hour!
Where’s Marty and Marjie? The Crate One and the Milford Star?
Comment by Dood — August 31, 2010 @ 7:17 am
And the return of a hallowed tradition,,,a little mouth lovin’ for Coach Kaz………..
Comment by Knoxy — August 31, 2010 @ 8:00 am
2nd strip of football season and Jamjar is already getting mentioned. This is not a good sign.
Comment by billytheskink — August 31, 2010 @ 8:04 am
What’s the over and under on when Jamjar tells Cody Exner to ease up?
Comment by Dood — August 31, 2010 @ 8:36 am
Maybe Cody will accidentally cut his leg off. Or maybe he secretly has a heart condition and he and his friend will switch identities at the doctor’s office. Or maybe he and his African-American friend will both apply to Yale.
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — August 31, 2010 @ 8:46 am
Or maybe Cody will go to a Gail Martin concert. She’s the rock and roll Carole King!
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — August 31, 2010 @ 8:49 am
# 11 Don: Whoo! Tarzana Nights!
Comment by Dood — August 31, 2010 @ 8:52 am
Maybe he can hook up with Mr. Baskt in Charleston.
Comment by Regina — August 31, 2010 @ 8:58 am
Coy Ex-nerd: leader to the Wing-T!
He’s going to end up being an “all coach, no play” Mudlark, fitting right into Gil’s system.
Comment by milfordian — August 31, 2010 @ 9:33 am
Maybe Cody is the “professional criminal” who robbed the Quik Mart. Wouldn’t that be awful!
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — August 31, 2010 @ 10:05 am
It’s too bad the team has to practice so close to Milford’s toxic waste dump. Oh well, they can play with melted faces. It’s the knee injuries that you’ve got to watch out for.
Comment by sourbelly — August 31, 2010 @ 11:58 am
Who got drunk and left Cody Exner in charge. Oops, dumb question. I guess until the ex student janitor or a child molester volunteers to coach the team for free you have to use a player.
Comment by DieClambakeDie — August 31, 2010 @ 12:12 pm
Serious question: Does Mimi coach a fall sport?
Comment by Dood — August 31, 2010 @ 12:41 pm
Cody is employed by ACME, the same company in the Pink Panther cartoons, right? Shows that Milford education is state-of-the-art. We’ll see if he has that QB pose we’ve been seeing the last few seasons, hopefully without chopsticks.
Comment by Rob — August 31, 2010 @ 2:26 pm
Nothing like the first bukkake ritual of football practice to boost camaraderie. Cody Exner is actually the young Gil Thorp.
Comment by gwilo — August 31, 2010 @ 3:58 pm
Thorp recruits players from wax museum.
Comment by Greg — August 31, 2010 @ 4:03 pm
i thought that was charles bloom withall that bukkae on his face . i guess gil and kaz arentsweating because they been in the windtunnel with frozen margaritas. hey new guy wwhatever with all that ? on your face torrey and cassie get that all the time rubin just dont write those storys family newspaper remember
Comment by mr120zcan — August 31, 2010 @ 6:30 pm
OMG the most hated character in Milforddom, JamJar is back…now we have to hear more nonstop “Ghost” references throughout the fall. Wish he would make like a “ghost” and disappear.
Comment by Regina — September 1, 2010 @ 9:29 am
Oh boy, oh boy… Chris Stiles claims his victory b.j. “Hey babe, meet me in the woods in five minutes, after I collect my damn trophy.”
Oh boy, oh boy part 2… Kemper Peake’s a sophomore. Does that mean two more summer storylines about junior golf? Be still, my beating heart!
Comment by jvwalt — September 1, 2010 @ 11:09 am