The High Price Of Flushing Squash

9/30/10

It’s starting to look like the Exner and Tedford regime is quickly going to crumble under the weight of micromanaging. Are the co-captains seriously about to dig their sweaty paws into their own pockets to replace Miles’ (Miles’s? Mileses Parises’? whatever) cash, just to shut Jamarr up? A punch in the mouth is cheaper and so much more satisfying.

Are they just gonna hand this cash to Miles? You know he spent his parents’ money in the park on varsity-level stuff. I guess he’ll be able to score another eighty dollars worth. I hope these fools did a lot of lifeguarding and landscaping, because this scam is going to catch on.

CSI Milford

9/29/10

Really Jamarr? A band geek stole the money that Miles’ parents gave him to buy them a set of Milford Snuggies? Did you CSI the scene and come up with tell-tale signs of band geeks: sheet music, clarinet reeds, cork wax (a band geek needs to keep his cork waxed) and white shoe polish?

Can we please stuff Jamarr in that towel bin, leave the investigation to the pros (either Kaz or the cop in the leather chaps) and get back to the varsity-level stuff they’re slinging in the park? Unless that was a band geek in the park, buying some hot, varsity-level band paraphernalia. Well, stuff Jamarr in that bin anyway. Just because.

Disappointing Butt Shot Trifecta

9/25/10

The subtle greatness of each panel:
Panel One: Kaz, just hanging out in the background, being casually awesome.
Panel Two: Gil and Kaz surreptitiously checking out Marjie Ducey’s ass
Panel Three: One game in and Gil is already in mid-season retreat from both reality and giving a crap.

By the way, what did Tod Andrews see? My guess is Gil in the parking lot after the game, trying to break into his own car while not wearing any pants.

9/27/10

Let’s skip the practice and move right along to the best panel in ages, the band practicing! I’ve seen those sheet music holders that the flute players strap on their arms, but I’m not sure why they don’t use them in Milford. These poor saps for some reason have decided to strap laptops onto their arms. That cannot be comfortable. Combine that with those crotch hugging shorts and the fact that the flute section apparently plays in front of the vuvuzela section and it’s no wonder the football team outlasts the musicians.

Hey remember that thing about Miles Paris being steadier than Derek Tolan? Should we reassess that?

9/28/10

What’s this? Crime afoot on Milford’s campus? Do everyone a favor and unleash Detective Kaz!

It’s All Too Beautiful

9/23/10

Cody Exner and Marcus Tedford, exhausted from their labors, decline Duncan’s invitation to go to the park. The park? Of course, the park, don’t you know we’re running out of warm nights? Besides, the park has a lovely fire pit (either that or they set fire to the kiddie merry-go-round, which is very hard to keep lit.)

9/24/10

Speaking of lit, Duncan is enjoying a delicious Yoo-Hoo brand malt beverage and reciting bumper stickers, while JamJar reveals that he doesn’t know that cool kids don’t hang out at the park after games. They fight circle saws and….hey wait a minute! Something shady is taking place in this very same park! Somebody is buying something for fifty dollars! Varsity-level stuff, eh? This better be weed and not steroids. Everybody knows that shadowy people in the park sell weed and raged out freaks in the gym sell steroids.

The Legend of Cody Exner and Marcus Tedford

9/22/10

Cody Exner and Marcus Tedford seal the victory for the Mudlarks (who will sing “Who Wrote the Book of Love” in celebration). Then Cody Exner and Marcus Tedner will go and build a new orphanage for Milford for all the future foundlings like Cody Exner. They will build the orphanage with their bare hands and it will stand for a thousand years. Then Cody Exner and Marcus Tedford will fill in for John Lennon and George Harrison and reunite the Beatles and play a series of sold out shows which will usher in an era of world peace. Then Cody Exner and Marcus Tedford will need a break from their toils, so they will head to the Bucket and horse around and swap spit with some skanky chicks, then they’ll get to work on cold fusion.

Mudlarks Vs. Owls: Can We Wrap This Up, Please?

09/21/10

4th-and-4 from the Milford 25! Oh boy, this one is going right down to the wire.  Will the Owls be contained by the Mudlarks? I can’t wait until tomorrow for the thrilling conclusion.

In the meantime, in case you’re wondering what a Mudlark is, I’ve found these interesting Mudlarks:

That clears things up nicely, doesn’t it?

Exciting Chain Gang Action

9/18/10

The star of this strip is Steve the Disco Referee. You can’t see it but he’s definitely shaking his hips while signaling a touchdown behind that pile of players. A touchdown is being scored there? Okay, if you say so Steve.

Oh  yeah, Cody Exner’s hair issues a warning to Jamarr.

9/20/10

Two minutes to go and…oh my, it’s a ufo landing on the football field! Quick, deploy the telescoping pushbroom! It’s our only hope!

First down yardage chain marker sponsored by Vince Vaughn. Chain Gang Charlie is so money.

Mr. Excitement? You’re Killing Me, Marty

9/17/10

Quick thoughts Friday:

• I thought Jackie Wilson was “Mr. Excitement”.
• We’re back to the more context-less drawings now. I guess Rod Whigham ran out of ink after all the detail that went into the bonfire and Marty’s treehouse.
• Jamarr “slips out of the backfield”? I though he was playing end? At any rate, number 52 is in no position to provide any blocking (unless he’s just hanging on to the Oakwood guy’s belt) so “Mr. Excitement” should become “Mr. Flattened Like A Pancake”, except….not. Sigh.