9/15/10
All right, Exner and Tedford use the traditional football bonfire to kick start their brutal regime! (Exner and Tedford, hmmm, sounds like one of those law firms that advertise aggressively on television. Have you been injured by a faulty circle saw? Were you the victim of a improperly constructed bonfire? Call the law offices of Exner and Tedford before you talk to the insurance companies.)
On the bright side, I’m enjoying the fact that I know exactly what’s going on, because you know what happens on Friday night. No, not Village People reject referees shaking their groove thing to the horror of the Milford student body. I’m talking about incomprehensible football action. Are you ready for it?
First candidate for a head bustin’ is the kid that points out that it should be “Marcus and I”.
Blogging on consecutive days? Ease up, Jason!
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — September 15, 2010 @ 5:47 am
“We’ll bust our tails for you- or Marcus and me will bust some heads”. Wouldn’t you want both?
I’m not sure who the “you” is(he seems to be pointing to a specific person). Meanwhile the ref continues to do the hokey pokey……………..
Comment by Knoxy — September 15, 2010 @ 6:16 am
Does Marcus speak or does he just break things. He did get his hair cut to resemble a circle saw blade.
The fire seems to quadruple in size from P1 to P2. They must have thrown a couple more band geeks on there to whip the crowd into a blood lust for the big game. That’s how Cody did it when he was playing for the orphanage team.
Comment by DieClambakeDie — September 15, 2010 @ 6:17 am
And then it’s Friday night at the Central City Chippendales for Mimi and the ladies!
Comment by Dood — September 15, 2010 @ 7:16 am
Knoxy, that’s not the hokey pokey, that’s the chicken dance. Geez.
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — September 15, 2010 @ 7:25 am
My bad……took a shot to the head from a circle saw when I was a kid.
Comment by Knoxy — September 15, 2010 @ 7:33 am
We need a preseason Valley Conference poll. Who’s in the Valley Conference, anyway? Is it Milford, Oakwood, Tilden, Valley Tech, Goshen and New Thayer?
Comment by Dood — September 15, 2010 @ 7:35 am
Let’s see, last year Milford played Oakwood, New Thayer, the Newton Railroaders, Jefferson, Tilden, (unbeaten) Madison, Central, Goshen, and Valley Tech. Newton isn’t in the Valley Conference, I think the rest of the teams are, maybe not Madison?
Panel 2 would make a great album cover.
Comment by billytheskink — September 15, 2010 @ 7:55 am
#8: OK, so the Valley Conference would be these eight teams: Milford, Jefferson, Central, Oakwood, Tilden, Valley Tech, Goshen and New Thayer?
Comment by Dood — September 15, 2010 @ 8:19 am
That seems to be it’s current configuration, Dood. I’ll take a look at what archives there are, though, and see if I’m mistaken.
Comment by billytheskink — September 15, 2010 @ 9:02 am
Cody is threatening the rest of the team in case they fail to perform up to him and Marcus’ high standards of tail busting.
Comment by dale — September 15, 2010 @ 9:06 am
#10 Billy: This information should be included in Don Markstein’s Toonopedia entry on Gil Thorp (who knew Mimi’s maiden name was Clover?)and in the Gil Thorp Wikipedia entry.
Comment by Dood — September 15, 2010 @ 9:48 am
Panel two is how I always thought hell would look like.
Comment by Ray — September 15, 2010 @ 9:49 am
In panel 2, it looks like the guys themselves are on fire. Seems like Cody must be flunking English…
Comment by Mark — September 15, 2010 @ 10:03 am
Seems like Cody must be flunking English
Me fail English? That’s unpossible!
Comment by Scott de B. — September 15, 2010 @ 10:37 am
Does Kaz fight for or against Exner/Tedford?
Will HWMNBN get an E/T drilling (both at once? yuck!) if he blows his routes in the first game?
Comment by milfordian — September 15, 2010 @ 1:20 pm
#12 Dood:
I went through all the football strips from 2001 (when the goComics minus goComics archive begins and shortly after I began following this strip) to present and I think I’ve determined who’s all in the Valley Conference. I’ll certainly defer to anyone who has been following this strip for a long time and has any corrections, though.
Perhaps a Milford record book would be worth keeping on this site…
Anyways, in these past 9 seasons:
- Central, Oakwood, and Valley Tech play Milford in each season
- New Thayer plays Milford from 2002 to present, but is perhaps one of the 2 unnamed regular season opponents from the 2001 season
- Tilden (called Tilden Tech in 2003) also plays Milford every year from 2002 to present, but like New Thayer, could very well be one of the unnamed regular season opponents
- Goshen plays in every season but 2003, though it seems likely that the one unnamed opponent from that season (whose loss was counted in Milford’s listed conference record) is Goshen
- Madison is present in every season but 2002, a season in which the strip covers only 8 games
- Jefferson would appear to be the newest member of the Valley Conference, first playing Milford in 2004, and appearing every year from 2006 to present
- North Bend plays Milford during the regular season in 2001 and 2002 before dropping off the schedule. Since Milford does not play any other non-conference foe more than once in the regular season it is possible that they were in the Valley Conference until 2003.
It would appear that the Valley Conference is a 9 team league with Milford, Central, Goshen, Jefferson, Madison, New Thayer, Oakwood, Tilden, and Valley Tech.
Perhaps also of interest, Gil’s record at Milford stands at 49 wins, 31 losses, 2 ties, and 2 unknowns (implied to be wins, during the 2001 season) since 2001. Excluding North Bend, he’s 42-22-2-1 against Valley Conference opponents, 7-9-0-1 against others, and 2-2-0-0 in the playdowns with his last appearance in 2003 and both wins coming against Valley conference opponents in 2001′s pre-state tournament playdowns/offs.
Gil’s year by year record:
2001: 8-2-0-2 (won 2 “playoff” games against Valley Tech and Central to become Valley champions before losing in the first round of the state tournament to an unnamed opponent)
2002: 2-6-0-0
2003: 7-3-1-0 (lost to Forest View in the regular season and in their only playdown game)
2004: 6-2-1-0
2005: 5-3-0-0 (wins against Oakwood and Cherry Creek were forfeited because Ira “Brick” House was ineligible, should have been 7-1-0-0 and would have been Valley champions)
2006: 6-3-0-0
2007: 3-6-0-0
2008: 6-3-0-0
2009: 6-3-0-0
Gil’s record against the Valley Conference:
Central: 6-3-1-0
Goshen: 8-0-0-0 (at least Gil owns somebody)
Jefferson: 1-4-0-0 (four game losing streak)
Madison: 3-5-0-0 (four game losing streak)
New Thayer: 6-2-0-0
Oakwood: 6-3-0-0
Tilden: 4-3-1-0 (four game winning streak)
Valley Tech: 8-2-0-1 (six game winning streak, apparently played Milford three times in a row in 2001)
Researching Gil Thorp at any length, by the way, is not recommended for the sane.
Comment by billytheskink — September 15, 2010 @ 1:41 pm
Thank you for sacrificing your eyesight to get us this information. Since it was your eyes and not mine I’m going to say it was well worth it. If they brink some circle saws to the games the Mudlarks should break those four game losing streaks against Jefferson and Madison.
Comment by DieClambakeDie — September 15, 2010 @ 2:01 pm
#17 Billy: You sir, are a steely eyed missile man!
Comment by Dood — September 15, 2010 @ 2:38 pm
Those statistics are amazing, especially considering the mental displine necssary to handle 10 years of Thorpian football insanity and freak hands in one sitting.
It would also be interesting to have a record of which teams are consistently portrayed as jerks – is it always the same people who have fans dress up in costumes to taunt Elmer Vargas / that homless basketball player / some other charity case Thorp was forced to briefly care about?
Comment by Steve — September 15, 2010 @ 2:49 pm
#17 Billy: You also deserve a shout out from Marty Moon and Marjie/Marcie for doing their preseason research for them. And a nice seat in the pressbox, too.
Comment by Dood — September 15, 2010 @ 3:00 pm
#20 Steve: Along those lines, Madison and Jefferson must get some respect from Gil and Kaz. Goshen, not so much.
Comment by Dood — September 15, 2010 @ 3:04 pm
Oh, here’s a not-so-bold preseason prediction: Cody Exner leads the Valley Conference in tackles and gets a college scholarship.
Comment by Dood — September 15, 2010 @ 3:09 pm
#20 Steve
The jerk fans that went after homeless Ted Pearse in the playdowns were from possible former Valley Conference member North Bend.
New Thayer was where the crowd of middle aged men told guy-on-girls-softball team Joe Clifford to “go play with dolls”.
Goshen was where the fans dressed up in panchos and sombreros taunted Elmer Vargas for being Mexican. According to Elmer, sombreros are difficult to find in Goshen.
Comment by billytheskink — September 15, 2010 @ 3:31 pm
hey billythesink you could have made all this up who would be crazy enough to double check ya. was cassie and torrey at the bonfire handing out party favors.
Comment by mr120zcan — September 15, 2010 @ 3:54 pm
#25 mr120zcan:
that is true, but it would have probably taken me as much time to make it all up as it would have to look it up.
Comment by billytheskink — September 15, 2010 @ 3:57 pm
Just another Tea Party Rally in Milford.
Comment by Regina — September 15, 2010 @ 5:25 pm
I’m totally not interested unless Exner and Tedford bust some Valley Tech pranksters heads.
Comment by Regina — September 15, 2010 @ 5:26 pm
Right on, Regina.
Comment by Rob — September 15, 2010 @ 6:03 pm
I see JamJar finally getting his come-uppance at the hands of Tedner and Exford. If played right it could be beautiful!!!
Comment by PFM — September 16, 2010 @ 8:15 am
[...] teams are (or were) in the Valley Conference. You can read the results of his extensive research here. All I can say is, “you must be nuts, billy! [...]
Pingback by The Ghost Of Seasons Past « This Week in Milford — September 16, 2010 @ 8:49 am
Too bad Westview is not in the Valley Conference. I’d love to see Exner and Tedford, especially which ever one is the Cully lookalike, to administer an industrial strength ass whipping on the Bull Bushka led Westview PizzaKings (Scapegoats is just stupid, at least PizzaKings is relevant). And if Les got drunk and then rolled up on Kaz and got in his grill over some bullshit behind the consession stand about Summer and some Milford third stringer, hoo boy. But really, ladies and gentlemen, have there been any sweeter words spoken in Milford than “Cully, I want you to kill Marty Moon.”
Comment by Sgt Saunders — September 16, 2010 @ 1:47 pm
Wow. Great work. Now you have to go back in the archives to 1956 (or whenever) and get his career record. Excellent job!
Comment by Tim Edkin — September 17, 2010 @ 7:32 am
I’d the first year’s strips and strips dating back to 1998 or so are still floating around somewhere on the Chicago Tribune’s website (where they used to be hosted), but I don’t think I can figure out how to find them.
Comment by billytheskink — September 17, 2010 @ 9:42 am
[...] Being forced to listen to Freckles’ stupid Detroit alarm clock story for the 3,000th time. 7. Annual September bonfire torches school to the ground every damn year. 8. Having to work well into July each year. With [...]
Pingback by Have to work with Gil? Take the easy way out. « This Week in Milford — May 25, 2011 @ 11:55 am
[...] Fancy that, something slightly nonsensically interesting is finally happening around here! So Inky Kitten, or whatever her name might be, whose sole purpose appears to be for Handsome Ransom to have someone to explain his swell business plans to, questions his swell business plan of giving away crappy old VHS tapes. But lo, the teens of Milford crave his wares, as the only previous location for slightly illicit activities was that bodega next to the Bucket…you know, “Tattoos, Piercings, Bootlegs, & Hello Kitty City!” which burned down, along with half the town in 2010. [...]
Pingback by Holding this tank town for Ransom « This Week in Milford — January 11, 2012 @ 7:11 pm