Penta-post-alooza!

11/23/10

Gil tries a new tactic for his pre-game speech:  using a random word generator. It works as well as his normal speeches do…which is to say, not at all. On the plus side, with an “M”  on all the players’ helmets, Gil is still convinced his team won.

11/24/10

Gil tries a new tactic for his post-game speech: Showing up and saying something to the players, instead of hiding under the bleachers until everyone just leaves in shame.

But come Monday…The team is still distracted, mostly by that trick #7 does: Dislocating his spine while haphazardly flinging the ball in the air.

11/25/10

Gil tries a new post-practice tactic: Hustling somewhere like he cares. I suppose when your dealer is MIA and your stash is getting low, you gotta postpone your daily stagger to the local pub.

He receives good news(?) for his efforts: Cody isn’t at the Morgan household! After enjoying a steaming cup of Mrs. Morgan’s famous liquid Sloppy Joes, and the subsequent excessive voiding of his bowels, I’m sure Gill will be hustling off to the Lutheran Social Services to see if he can score a dime bag.

11/26/10

Gil goes back to his same old problem-solving tactic that always works: Letting other people solve the students’ problems, while he goes home to have a beer and bone his wife. Hey, why mess with a perfect formula?

Friday night and the team is off to do battle in zero gravity. Now they just need to watch out for the flying potato chips (“Careful, they’re ruffled!”)

11/27/10

Marty’s imbibed so much from his winter warmer flask (well it is halfway through the first inning…), that his sentence structure is even worse than normal. Luckily for the town, his mike stopped working three years ago.

Meanwhile, Jam-jar is so clueless that he didn’t notice his team slip an extra $40 to Goshen to plow him under repeatedly. He better watch out…if he keeps up that bitching, he could end up as an Arkansas Senator.

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