Next Up, Ball-handling Drills

1/29/11

This Week in Milford was granted an exclusive interview with Coach Gil Thorp (okay, Marty Moon gets to interview Gil all the time, but we think that’s actually part of some court ordered community service, so we’re sticking with the term exclusive.)

TWIM: Thank you for speaking with us today, Coach. It is truly an honor.

Thorp: Who are you with again, Seagram’s? What kind of deal are you offering? I’d love to be in business with you guys. You leave the Board of Education to me, I know a few guys downtown.

TWIM: No coach, we’re from This Week in Milford, a blog that covers Milford athletics.

Thorp: Oh, you’re those losers. When did I agree to this?

TWIM: You called us.

Thorp: Oh, I thought I was talking to Deadspin. I thought they could introduce me to Linda Cohn. Do you guys know Linda Cohn?

TWIM: We’ve seen her on Sportscenter, but we don’t know her.

Thorp: Crap. Do you guys have a bar?

TWIM: Sorry coach, we’re a blog. We don’t have a bar. While we have you here, maybe we could ask you a few questions.

Thorp: Yeah, okay, but no questions about Linda Cohn, okay?

TWIM: Um, okay, we hadn’t planned on it. So tell us about Lini Verde. Do you see his role on the basketball team as a gimmick or do you think he’ll become a productive part of the team?

Thorp: Lini Verde? What the? Oh, yeah him. I thought you were talking about an Italian dessert wine. Well let me answer that question in two ways, first by using my normal stock interview answer which is “yeah Marty, whatever you say” and then by pretending I didn’t hear what you said and saying “I like turtles”.

TWIM: Okay. Um, so do you really like turtles?

Thorp: No. I’m talking about that kid on the internet who likes turtles. What kind of stupid “bloggers” are you if you haven’t heard about the “I like turtles” kid? Make sure you say that I did “airquotes” there.

TWIM: Yeah we know about that kid, we just um…

Thorp: “Airquotes”

TWIM: (Coach Thorp used airquotes when he said bloggers and I like turtles). Okay, we said it.

Thorp: What about airquotes?

TWIM: (Coach Thorp used airquotes around airquotes.) Okay we said that too.

Thorp: But not the last time.

TWIM: What?

Thorp: I didn’t used airquotes around airquotes the last time.

TWIM: Okay, we’ll write it so our readers know when you used and didn’t use airquotes.

Thorp: Readers? You have readers? I might have to redact some of this. Especially that Linda Cohn part.

TWIM: Yes, we have readers. There are people who are interested in following Milford athletics. Would you like to answer some questions about your teams for them?

Thorp: No, not really, I don’t really want to be on record as encouraging those interests. People think sports are so interesting and entertaining, but from my perspective, it’s all smelly jocks and dragging big bags of balls around. Look, it’s Saturday and it’s early and I can’t find my pants and I have to feed my turtle, so I’m gonna let you guys go. Good luck with your “blog”. Oh and one last thing.

TWIM: What’s that, coach?

Thorp: Airquotes around blog.

TWIM: Thanks, coach, it’s been a pleasure.

Thorp: Yeah, smell ya later.

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