2/16/11
Uh-oh. A shocking, computer-related revelation! The last time this happened, the shocking reveal was that Cully Vale was a KILLER Gil discovered he had a COMPUTER in his office! I just don’t want to be around when Gil, like Quagmire, belatedly discovers the world on internet porn.
2/17/11
You’d think anything above a two-bit operation would spring for the $12 to purchase the random URL it prints in a newspaper comic. Because they have to expect that both readers of that comic might just then go type in LiniVerde.com to see where it goes. If said two-bit operation doesn’t purchase LiniVerde.com, what’s to stop a half-assed blog to purchase said URL and redirect it somewhere? Luckily for certain two-bit operation comics, certain half-assed blogs did NOT want to go on record as purchasing a domain entitled LiniIsaMolester.com. So at last check, this wonderfully insane domain name implied in today’s comic can be YOURS, if you want to help hijack a two-bit comic operation. Will YOU step up to the plate?
I spent so much time with domain purchasing nonsense, I seem to have lost track of the real insanity here. First: What the holy f*ck is happening here? Kudos Neal, for running the plot off the rails in a direction none of us predicted. Second: My favorite part of this is Lini’s reaction: “Hmmm, I suppose you can’t deny the premise that I’m a molester. But that’s not a very nice thing to say on the internet! I sure hope nobody reads the internet!”
It’s a typo , the Milford Moles want Lini as a Mole-Star!
Comment by Graham McDonald — February 17, 2011 @ 8:46 am
I’m pretty sure that the big reveal is that the site is http://www.linisafa…..nofcortez‘sfashionchoiceswithrespecttoeyeware.com hence the tension between those two.
Comment by Tim — February 17, 2011 @ 8:55 am
I like the tuque-wearing guy in the 2/17 final panel. Hey, take off you atom-chested hoser!
Comment by Dood — February 17, 2011 @ 9:00 am
Ok, Milford Mystery time! Who hates Lini Verde enough to start an internet smear campaign? Kaz PI, run down the suspects:
Uh, That Guy With The Goggles Who Used to Be Grant Sanders: Obviously believes Lini is going to Hell, probably believes Lini is gay, and definitely believes all gay people are molestors. Considers it his Christian Duty to warn everyone. Although, I suppose most overtly homophobic high school evangelicals would rather beat up the gay guy than talk behind their backs. That way they get to touch another dude.
Mini-Gil: Probably blames Lini for convincing Boring Girl to break up with him.
Boring Girl: Angry that Lini didn’t pick her up on the rebound.
Regular-Size Gil: Upset that Lini knows more about basketball than him but has not relieved him of coaching duties yet.
Tracee: Seems to have no connection or vitriol for Lini and would make no sense whatsoever, falling right in line with Rubin’s plot development plan.
Molly Kinsella: Still stinging from Lini’s acerbic takedown of her cardboard bikini fashion show.
The Ghost: Is an asshole.
(Also, am I the only one who thinks that the website is LiniIsAFag.com or something like that? The dialogue in panel one strikes me as a way around a censored expletive. Also, it’d explain Lini’s general indifference to most of the site but exception to the ‘molestor’ part. Also also: oh dear god I’m trying to make sense of Gil Thorp)
Anyway, I’m calling it now: Everyone thinks it was Cortez (is that the Grant Clone’s name?) only to find out, shockingly, that he actually is gay, and that it was someone completely unrelated to the plot in a typical Rubin bait-and-switch. I’m sticking with Jamaar Gaddis.
Comment by Drew Funk — February 17, 2011 @ 9:03 am
4. Drew Funk: Totally concur: “someone completely unrelated to the plot in a typical Rubin bait-and-switch.” Moreover, the switch will be inane, lame, vapid, make no logical sense and annoy most all of us. Hello, reality. Count it! It’s sh*tty!
Comment by semperfi4evr — February 17, 2011 @ 9:21 am
Damn, I would have thought Cortez the killer would have bought the URL liniisgay.com. Who is Lini allegedly molesting? I think it’s us, with his crappy clothing style and his Eurotrash ways.
I want to go with Cortez the killer as the smear guy, but Rubin will do a 360 and it’ll be someone no one suspects…like Steve Luhm or Clambake.
Comment by Regina — February 17, 2011 @ 9:24 am
Mr. Baskt is in Charleston buying up shitty Internet domains and manufacturing Nutboys. Count it! Hronk!
Comment by Dood — February 17, 2011 @ 9:58 am
I say the culprit behind this slanderous URL is… A Professional Criminal!!!
Comment by sourbelly — February 17, 2011 @ 10:02 am
Am I missiing something, or haven’t we been told the website is liniusa.something? My guess is that the basic premise Lini can’t deny is that he is in fact gay (what a surprise!) but that some idiot is at work who equates gays with child molesters. There’s a lot of that out there, and not just on the crank end of Christianity, despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of child molesters are sick straights, not gays. In other words, Whigrub has a chance to “get some truth out” here. But like Drew Funk and semperfi, I suspect they will turn away in favor of some idiotic outcome.
Comment by vaganova — February 17, 2011 @ 10:33 am
As far as I’m concerned, Neal Rubin and the Tribune Company are damn lucky that Jason snapped up the URL. It could easily have been BarelyLegal.com or RussianSingles.com or something even scummier. It’s just plain stupid to print a fake URL in a comic without buying it first.
Comment by jvwalt — February 17, 2011 @ 11:17 am
Half-assed blogs! They’re shitty! Count it! Bonk!
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — February 17, 2011 @ 11:25 am
Panel three, second strip: I didn’t know that Peter Tork and Mike Nesmith went to Milford High! The Monkees! Count It! Bonk!
Comment by Regina — February 17, 2011 @ 11:41 am
I’m confused now. Who’s the master of their domain? Count it!
Comment by Dood — February 17, 2011 @ 11:57 am
As has been said, obviously a set up for a classic Rubin bait-and-switch. Fingers will point at Cortez, the actual culprit will be someone else. Shocking!
My bets are on Parker/Mini-Gil, a criminal, Young Micah Huang, and Marty DeJong… in that order.
Comment by billytheskink — February 17, 2011 @ 12:13 pm
good shooting, Billy– looks like you too have noticed that Cortez, after being introduced as a probable antagonist for Linguini, has all but disappeared. We see him rebounding once a week or so, but that’s about it. Just to be completely inconsistent, it could also be Jamar, who has also pretty much vanished. He hasn’t been foregrounded as a likely homophobe, but it was he who tipped the cops that his captain was hanging in the park illegally, marking him as a guy who likes to submarine his teammates.
Comment by vaganova — February 17, 2011 @ 12:26 pm
Rubin probably thought that purchasing a URL would cost like a kajillion dollars. Count it! Bonk!
Comment by Gil'sBarber — February 17, 2011 @ 12:42 pm
BTW Jason, congrats on your purchase! When Lini gets famous on American Idol, you’ll be golden.
Comment by Gil'sBarber — February 17, 2011 @ 12:47 pm
Naw, the culprit is Tank, last spring’s Longshot that does not like athletes (or fashion)!
Or it is those Jefferson Jeffs – as their coach said, “They know what to do”. Or those Valley Tech hooligans out to throw Linguini off his game – they have a history of pranks against Milford.
Gotta look for the curveball from Neal!
Comment by Milfordian — February 17, 2011 @ 12:53 pm
9. vaganova: Spot on. Berrill would have outed Linguini but have the school accept him after maybe a little drama and a sober talk by a sober Gil. Whigrub will take a plot trip to Bozo City by way of Annoyingburg. [Sigh] Count it.
Comment by semperfi4evr — February 17, 2011 @ 4:13 pm
ok this out of left field bullshit plot makes no sense. first of all no way its cortez he was getting his straw hat restrawed. i think its that guy who runs the camp where the football cleaned up for free to cover gils upstate bar tab.
Comment by mr120zcan — February 17, 2011 @ 4:42 pm
LOL, 12oz! I can just see Lini in that work detail at the foster kid camp, wearing an apron, whistling while he worked, and keeping everybody laughing… And I love the straw hat for Cortez– I suspected he was a fugitive from a cigar factory all along.
Comment by vaganova — February 17, 2011 @ 5:50 pm
wtf Nancy?
Comment by Gil'sBarber — February 17, 2011 @ 6:11 pm
not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Except in High School. Dude, get a clue and wait til you’re legal.
Sorry, hope I didn’t offend anyone, but my gawd!
Comment by Gil'sBarber — February 17, 2011 @ 6:15 pm
I suspect that if Lini were molesting anybody there’s be ample clues by now, and that this is a case of character assassination. But on the other hand, who thought the football captain was selling drugs?
Comment by vaganova — February 17, 2011 @ 6:25 pm
Maybe Lini has something to do with the disappearance of the Thorp children.
Comment by Scott de B. — February 18, 2011 @ 9:02 am
I suspect “molester” is an end-around for some gay slur much as “harlot” was an end-around for a more likely used term such as “slut.”
Regina, thanks for running with the “Cortez the Killer” meme.
Comment by delvaldawg — February 18, 2011 @ 10:41 am
26 delvaldog, hope you’re right. If you are, we have a more normal high school situation– kids having to adjust to the fact that a kid they know is actually gay, rather than someone who’s accused of criminal behavior. I think it would still be a first. I’ve been following this strip nearly from the beginning, and can’t recall a gay character ever appearing before. Does anybody else?
Comment by vaganova — February 18, 2011 @ 12:45 pm
I’m just astonished that anyone thinks high school kids need the internet to figure out someone’s gay.
Comment by laura c — February 18, 2011 @ 1:11 pm
Hard to figure, Laura, but these are MILFORD teenagers, who live in a land of cardboard bikinis, BEER brand beer, and “Tarzana Nights.” Count it!
Comment by vaganova — February 18, 2011 @ 2:09 pm
Woo-hoo! Tarzana Nights! Bonk!
Comment by Dood — February 18, 2011 @ 3:00 pm
Tarzana Nights?! By Gail Martin?! She’s the rock ‘n’ roll Carole King! Count it! Bonk!
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — February 18, 2011 @ 3:28 pm
I now live in a world where both Mary Worth and Gil Thorp are doing stories about the Internet. My head is spinning.
Comment by sourbelly — February 18, 2011 @ 3:38 pm
2/17 panel 3 is the most realistic depiction of HS cafeteria seating I’ve ever seen in GT and probably most other comic strips.
(no tables for 4, no individual chairs, no room for a soccer game between the tables)
Comment by dale — February 18, 2011 @ 5:03 pm
Oh man, just so you know, Jason, it looks like Tom Batiuk went after a couple of WordPress sites snarking on Funky Winkerbean and had the strips on ‘em taken down.
http://dailycartoonist.com/index.php/2011/02/18/tom-batiuk-responds-to-funky-blog-take-down-order/
Let’s hope Neal Rubin is different and is really cool with your site.
Comment by El Santo — February 18, 2011 @ 5:50 pm
I am going with Clambake as the culprit of these high jinks. Why? No reason (as if reason existed in Milford for the last four years or so).
Comment by bevo — February 18, 2011 @ 8:00 pm
Could be Clambake, or Ray of the Jungle, or the PIzza Flipper, or the Professional Criminal, or even Luhm of the Polished Floors. Only time will tell– the only constant is that we’ll all have something sarcastic to say about it. @34 El Santo, if Rubin is following this site, he’ll make it Jamjar, just to please his most loyal fans…
Comment by vaganova — February 18, 2011 @ 8:13 pm
I just hope it isn’t Sackodog. Or Stormy.
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — February 18, 2011 @ 8:22 pm
What about kid-in-tree, hacking away on his ‘puter from the third branch up?
Comment by Dood — February 18, 2011 @ 8:23 pm
Don, is Sackodog still 6-9, and is he still alive? I think Hatt is a more likely suspect, given his track record. If either of them is involved in torpedoing Linguine, this may explain why we haven’t seen any reference lately to Perp Spotlight, too. But the kid in the tree is also decent prospect. When you spend years treed with nothing but your MacBook you come to resent those who sail around below, their scarves trailing behind.
Comment by vaganova — February 18, 2011 @ 8:33 pm
Regina @12: Hey hey, we’re the Mudlarks! (Okay, song parodists, take it away…)
Comment by delvaldawg — February 18, 2011 @ 9:17 pm
@ El Santo: Yeah, I was wondering about that whole F*nky W*nkerb*ean thing, and how it might affect this site. Personally, I don’t think Rubin/Whigham are anywhere near as douchy as Batiuk. Seriously, Rube and Whigs, you’re A-OK in my book, for whatever that isn’t worth.
Comment by sourbelly — February 19, 2011 @ 1:01 am
I think the website LiniIsAFag.com is going to end up being owned by someone like Jolene Raptor or some other unexpected character we haven’t seen in forever, and will probably never see again after this.
Comment by Mooch — February 19, 2011 @ 3:10 am
[...] That is to say: numerous plots, none of them anywhere close to resolved, or even interesting, carry on into late February. Then the Mudlarks play a boring game for a while. Even Marty Moon can’t be bothered to be any different than he was on January 17th. (At least the kid behind him changed shirts, so we’re no longer concerned the Green Lantern is in the building.) Wake me when Lini Verde becomes famous so I can sell him his damned domain name.* [...]
Pingback by The Green Lantern has left the building. Way to beat us to it, dude. « This Week in Milford — February 22, 2011 @ 9:50 am
It’s Marty Moon.
Comment by Charlene — February 22, 2011 @ 11:13 am
[...] Marshall Lopat… he aint no Lini Verde. But hey, what nice [...]
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[...] Captain Tacky-Back. But how much time do we have left? I need to decide whether to renew my LiniVerde.com [...]
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