4/9/11
Wow. I know it’s early, but I think we’ve just found our winner of the skeeviest walk-on character of the year. Ladies and gentleman, Mr. Buzz Marco, who owns his very own saloon, in Goshen, no less! (I could have sworn the Bottom Dollar Saloon burned down back in the 80′s. I must have been thinking of another dump.) Well, Derek, you and your Longshots are on your way to the top if you hitch your wagon the the star maker that is Buzz Marco. There will be dues to be paid though. Buzz will be continually prompting you to smell his finger. You’ll probably be unclogging the toilet at the Bottom Dollar and some of Buzz’s skanky associates will probably rip off all your gear a time or two. But that’s showbiz. What, do you think you’re going to get any better guidance from Gil? If Buzz Marco knows a fungo bat from a pimp stick, he’ll probably be coaching Milford’s baseball team by the end of the season.
Ned, I didn’t know you were a lawyer! I’m a lawyer, too! Let’s start a firm together! You can have top billing! Ned & Don! Offices in Milford & Goshen! You don’t pay until we win! Sure enough! Check it! Count it! Bonk! HRONK! WAP!
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — April 10, 2011 @ 7:03 pm
Not sure that the emphasis on dump is entirely without euphemistic merit.
Comment by exmiscellanea — April 10, 2011 @ 7:04 pm
I’m not a lawyer (though I have played one on stage) and this is probably why I cannot figure out how Don recognized Ned as a fellow attorney. I do, however, own a blackthorn walking stick my father brought me from Ireland, where they are known as lawyers.
Comment by vaganova — April 10, 2011 @ 7:10 pm
“Bottom Dollar Saloon” sounds like the minimally bowdlerized way of saying “Cheap Male Prostitutes For Hire.” And naturally ol’ Buzz is always on the lookout for, ahem, fresh talent. Won’t be long before Derek will be doing all the — cough — mounting he can handle.
And when they find him six weeks from now in the gutters of Goshen, completely wasted on meth, then Al-Jo will sing a song about his plight.
Comment by John S. Walters — April 10, 2011 @ 7:59 pm
Panel 3, Derek looks a bit like a fleshed-out Tim Lincecum.
Comment by delvaldawg — April 11, 2011 @ 4:37 am
I see Last Chance hasn’t washed his hair since last season………
Comment by Knoxy — April 11, 2011 @ 6:14 am
If someone introduces himself as Buzz Marco, isn’t the proper response to say that you’re Buzz Polo?
Hronk if had heard of Charl Schwartzel before last week.
Comment by Dood — April 11, 2011 @ 6:30 am
I’m not a lawyer, Don. My reference to the court case was just an example of “google nonsense” turned up by a search for “Bottom Dollar Saloon” (It is quite a tale, though. Not as good as Hormel Foods vs. Jim Henson Productions, a copyright infringment case regarding a Muppet named “Spa’am”, which takes the cake for entertaining legal reading for non-lawyers.)
I like John S. Walter’s take on the name of the dump. That’s the kind of thinking that we need around here!
Check out the possibly related links. Arkey Blue’s Silver Dollar Saloon – Bandera, TX That place looks like a dump. I like dumps though.
Comment by Ned Ryerson — April 11, 2011 @ 6:40 am
Dood, I thought Charl Schwarztel was the starting shortstop for the Mudlarks.
Comment by Ned Ryerson — April 11, 2011 @ 6:42 am
Is Derek starting a baseball game before we’ve even had the traditional roster introduction? That’s a balk, Rubin and Whigham!
Comment by Dood — April 11, 2011 @ 6:51 am
Dump? Buzz Marco misses a golden opportunity to break out one of Milford’s all-time greats, “tank town”.
Comment by billytheskink — April 11, 2011 @ 7:46 am
Hey, is that Pudge Hamilton, “the boldest little catcher anwyhere,” tending bar with James Lipton?
Comment by Dood — April 11, 2011 @ 9:24 am
Dood, no way. James Lipton has taken up permanent residence in Funky Winkerbean.
Comment by delvaldawg — April 11, 2011 @ 11:16 am
Oh, and Dood@10: today’s strip, panel 2, has the Milford starting lineup, noteworthy in that it lists two center fielders and no left fielders.
Comment by delvaldawg — April 11, 2011 @ 11:20 am
I still want to know what State it’s legal for minors to work in saloons.
Comment by Regina — April 11, 2011 @ 11:21 am
No. 14, delvaldawg: Thanks! You know, I don’t expect much from this strip (for that matter, does anyone?), but couldn’t they have at least tried to get the roster correct?
Comment by Dood — April 11, 2011 @ 12:45 pm
Regina -
In what state is it illegal?
Age can be an issue, but it’s most likely related to job function.
The LowRents, or whatever their name is, aren’t serving drinks.
Comment by dale — April 11, 2011 @ 2:01 pm
Regina – as Dale said, minors cant serve alcohol, but they can work in a saloon otherwise at 16. Slim’s not really working there anyway, he’s singing. The Beatles started out in saloons in Liverpool, and George Harrison was 16, I believe. They wound up being pretty good.
Comment by Rob — April 11, 2011 @ 2:57 pm
maybe regina ment with his band practice gigs baseball practice and games and trying to get into cassies pants when does slim chance have time to attend school and do homework ? where is cassie she doesnt have a passport and backyard tire fire are in mexico doing background music for donkey shows
Comment by mr120zcan — April 11, 2011 @ 5:39 pm
This is a comic strip. Time is of no consequence.
Love the roll of paper towels in Martys booth.
Comment by Rob — April 11, 2011 @ 7:38 pm
Like Edith Bunker would say: “Ohhhhhh”.
Comment by Regina — April 12, 2011 @ 8:06 am
I see Buzz Marco and AlJo’s mom hooking up before this convoluted storyline is played out.
Comment by J.D. Springer — April 13, 2011 @ 4:38 pm