Saturday In The Park, Think I’m Gonna Go To The Y

5/28/2011

Wow. You look awful.

I wouldn’t talk if I were wearing a plus-sized Sumo diaper.

Oh, you’re referring to my mawashi?

Ease up, Traceeee, this scene is expository for me. You get bupkiss, so if you make a mawoozit in your diaper, sobeit. Traceeee.

Ease up, Alpo.

Looka here, Freckles McDroopydrawers, I’m worried about the plight of the teachers!

Oh yeah, I know all about your worry for Coach Alpaca and her bifurcated hoof…and I’ve seen her watching you take grounders. The other day I heard her muttering, “grass on the infield, play ball.” I don’t think you’ve got her so much worried for you as bothered, as in hot and.

Eeww, gross, Traceee, just because you don’t get to do anything in this strip doesn’t mean you have to be so snarky.

Yeah, whatever, I’m gonna go see if Micah Huang wants to  help me pack some fudge squares for the picnic tomorrow. Smell you later, Purina.

Later…….

Hey coach Alpaca, do you like my T-shirt and the very disturbing shelf that my boobs are making inside it?

Check this out, Kibbles and Bits, my ass is likely out the door since that wack-job Hobart is spewing all his jibba jabba, so I’m just going to cut to the chase. I’ve sent the rest of the team to the mall. I’m going to be down in the dugout wearing nothing but some carefully altered sliding shorts with a dental dam at the ready. I’m gonna teach you how to do it like a shortstop from Elon.

But Coach Glory, I was going to write a song about the plight of the teachers.

Okay, well maybe later I’ll break out some of my Ferron and Holly Near records.

Oh yeah, what’s their deal?

Come with me and I’ll school ya, kid.