Sorry for the delay in posting…if the author’s gonna drag everything out, I might as well follow suit, right?
6/20/11
Notice how Al-Po’ is inexplicably still pissed that someone had the nerve to play music at her boring rally…right up to the point she receives a generous ass-smack from Glory, the crotch-stuffing assistant coach? Hmmm. If you’re wondering what’s going on there, just reread this to relive the romance.
6/21/11
“The teachers appreciate what you kids did for us.”
“Wait, who are you?”
“I’m Mimi.”
“Who?”
“You know, that lady who used to work here…it turns out they don’t pay me to not show up. Gil’s the only one who can get away with that shit.”
” So what happened to Coach Glory Hole?”
“After word got out on all her ass-smacking and crotch-enhancement shenanigans, Hobart hired her to work under his desk.”
Meanwhile…
The secret source of Milford’s endless supply of tools is finally revealed! Or more likely, Gil is just checking out the new town strip club, Harry’s Hardwankers.
6/22/11
So what happens when the town newspaper gives up completely? Research into shady town politics is left to some dork in a smock and his bang-up theory that his neighbor really just needs to get laid. Hooray for the death of local journalism.
Wanting to have his very own institutional grade meat slicer, Gil went into the hardware store and ended up talking about local school politics.
WTF?, as all the young hepcats say.
Comment by dale — June 22, 2011 @ 12:42 am
Gil & Kaz are gonna team-up with Tim & Al!
Comment by exmiscellanea — June 22, 2011 @ 2:21 am
More snooping. More blackmail. That’s the power of ‘S Hardware.
Comment by d — June 22, 2011 @ 5:52 am
Oops, that was me
Comment by delvaldawg — June 22, 2011 @ 5:52 am
Not sure what Gil is “scoring” as he furtively enters “s Hardw” looking like Larry Craig in a Minnesota airport…
Comment by Elmo — June 22, 2011 @ 6:03 am
Super Mario is giving Gil an idea: Hobart needs a new attitude about teachers, and Mimi is just the “lady” to provide it to him! Invite Glory along, and Hobart is a dead man!
Comment by Milfordian — June 22, 2011 @ 6:53 am
“Twenty teenagers listening to music in a parking lot … it was a near riot, I tells ya! What the hell are we gonna do with these young people? Educating them doesn’t seem to be working, so out with all the teachers!”
Clearly Gil went into S Hardwa to buy a short, sturdy length of lead pipe to take care of Hobart. Fortunately, Mr. Hardwa himself started dishing out some dirt on Hobart, so the Chief of Police won’t have to arrest Gil, which is good, because he’s currently yakking with Ashley whilst purchasing Nutboys at the S-Mart.
Comment by jules — June 22, 2011 @ 6:54 am
I like how his name isn’t John Hobart or Hobart Johnson, just Hobart. Sort of that Brazilian pro athlete thing going on.
Comment by billytheskink — June 22, 2011 @ 7:14 am
You know, S is the place for the gossipy hardware man. Gil is trying to score some 30-weight ball bearings (“Aw, come on guys, it’s all ball bearings these days!”) and 10 quarts of antifreeze, preferably Prestone.
Comment by Dood — June 22, 2011 @ 7:32 am
At the school board meeting, Capt. Jean-Luc Picard is not amused and finds himself wondering how he got beamed into this sorry storyline.
Comment by Jeff Walker — June 22, 2011 @ 7:43 am
Speaking of journalism, where has Marie Ducey been hiding through this entire dull plot? More importantly, where is Marjie Ducey’s beret (yeah, the raspberry one)?
Comment by Dood — June 22, 2011 @ 7:54 am
Is young Micah Huang forever destined to be a tangential character in Marty’s World?
Comment by Dood — June 22, 2011 @ 8:30 am
Ease up, Dood! Micah will be back in several years as a janitor or ex-con or something! Check it! Count it! Bonk! HRONK!
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — June 22, 2011 @ 9:03 am
Micah’s APBA card rating went down from a C(X)(Z) to a D(W) so I doubt we’ll see him again this season unless Gil needs someone for mop-up duty. Bonk!
Comment by delvaldawg — June 22, 2011 @ 9:16 am
Dood – you mean the kind you find in a secondhand store? Mr. McGee doesn’t like your kind, by the way.
Comment by jules — June 22, 2011 @ 10:08 am
S Hardware is obviously a subsidiary of Smarty Mart. Soon we will see S Pub, S Bowling Alley, and of course, S Bucket.
Comment by Mithradates — June 22, 2011 @ 11:35 am
I’m hoping (but not expecting) that Gil will lure Hobart into the locker room, where Kaz will put his scrawny neck into a headlock until he agrees to leave town. That’d be about par for the course; Gil using underhanded — or downright illegal — means to achieve a positive outcome. However, I fully expect the actual ending to be a big disappointment. As it always is. Just waitin’ for the summer storyline, which should launch by about Labor Day…
Comment by John S. Walters — June 22, 2011 @ 12:10 pm
Jules, I was always a bit too leisurely for Mr. McGee.
Comment by Dood — June 22, 2011 @ 12:25 pm
wow gil is lucky guy . walks into a hardware store thinking they serve that old time drink a rusty nail . guy with apron offers some booze from his flask and starts blabbing about hobart . gil pauses to think where have i heard that name hobart before . ease up bronk honk count it
Comment by mr120zcan — June 22, 2011 @ 4:21 pm
I used to know a guy (who was sort of gross) who always said he loved looking at the “PT” in Playboy photos, the “pubic triangle” of dark pubic hair that used to be seen in the pre-everyone-is-shaven days of soft porn. I’m not sure what kind of pants the asst coach is wearing 6/20, but it looks like there is PT see-through.
Comment by Moon Mullins — June 22, 2011 @ 7:06 pm
anyone else think Coach glory looks like Phoebe Cates. . . . . waiting for red bikini scene at any moment
Comment by PFM — June 23, 2011 @ 3:26 pm
While we’re all apreciating everyone’s appreciation, I’d appreciate a storyline that didn’t stink. Oh, who am I kidding. Carry on, Marty.
Comment by Dood — June 24, 2011 @ 10:23 am