7/14/11
What a fun variation on the Gil Thorp theme of uncompensated coaching by transitory characters. Gil directs one of his golf camp students to tutor an inept caddie that the golf club inexplicably hired. I’m sure Gil will be lauded for his selfless efforts in this matter.
7/15/11
Okay Professor Kenny, learn the distances that aren’t marked. Like how far is it from this tree to that tree over there? How far is this pine cone from that sand trap? How far is it from the parking lot to the practice bunker? There are infinite distances to memorize. I’ll be here forever. (Feels familiar, don’t it?)
By the way, more information about C.H.U.D. can be found on the internet (or in the comments from the previous post).
7/16/11
Wow, way to turn on the charm, Kenny! Wait, “after two stony holes…”, what?!
Because I couldn’t muster much commentary for this thrilling turn of events, here’s a limerick “inspired” by the summer plot:
Young Kenny Lark had a plan
to get Molly reclined in his van.
When the Dodge started rocking
Kenny saw something shocking.
Turns out Molly Kinsella’s a man!
Thorpian limericks anybody? Who’s got ‘em?
Limericks,eh?
Kenny Lark tried to turn on the charm,
but his temper, it did him some harm.
Some curses he peppered
and like the guy from Def Leppard,
turns out he had just one arm.
or how about:
Kenny Lark drove a craptastic car,
but for once he was two under par.
Molly made him go “CHUD”
He tossed his clubs in the mud…
Where’s Gil? Passed out at the bar.
and finally…
Kenny Lark wasn’t from near Nantuckett,
but his club, man, he really could chuck it,
Neal said with a grin,
“A golf plot again!
My tee time is now, readers suck it.”
Ah, limericks…almost making this summer plot tolerable for a few minutes!
Comment by jasbeattie — July 17, 2011 @ 3:16 pm
It’s cool how Molly’s hair has its own ears.
Comment by Moon Mullins — July 17, 2011 @ 5:08 pm
After this ill-defined caddie teaching session, Molly can go back to Gil and complain that Kenny was mean to her. Gil will then authorize Kaz to abuse Kenny at every opportunity.
Comment by dale — July 17, 2011 @ 5:39 pm
So the CHUD, that was not in reference to Kenny’s third leg? Wait? It was chud not chub? That’s an iron not a woodie?
Ah… Okay.
Comment by bevo — July 17, 2011 @ 7:09 pm
does molly only wear the booze apron when gil is around?
Comment by mr120zcan — July 18, 2011 @ 4:06 am
I’m not so good at limericks, but Kenny just composed his own haiku:
For Pete’s sake, Molly –
You don’t talk during a swing!
The ball’s out of bounds!
And meanwhile:
Gil’s in the clubhouse
Getting drunk on G&T’s…
Summer in Milford
Comment by jules — July 18, 2011 @ 7:25 am
Two stony holes? Were Kenny and Molly smoking that new hybrid grass that Jerry’s developed? You can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home, and just get stoned to the bejesus belt that night.
Prediction: Before this summer’s out (sometime in mid-November), Molly will be Fanny Sunesson to Kenny Lark’s Nick Faldo.
Is it too early to talk about the wing-T?
Chud! Hronk! Bonk! Krak! Wak! Count it! Ease up!
Comment by Dood — July 18, 2011 @ 8:02 am
Looks like Kenny’s gonna be eating Molly… and not in a good way. His temper is the C.H.U.D. tip-off.
Comment by semperfi4evr — July 18, 2011 @ 8:25 am
With apologies to the Godfather of Soul, if her caddying skills improve, tomorrow Molly will have a brand-new bag. Hey!
Comment by Dood — July 18, 2011 @ 8:59 am
Limericks about Milford should be witty
Not like Buzz Marco in Goshen City
A good one has Count It!
and Tank Town and The Bucket
But mine are like Nutboys – they’re shitty!
Comment by Milfordian — July 18, 2011 @ 11:45 am
I can’t touch any of the earlier limericks, but I had to give it the ol’ Mudlark try…
Kenny angrily described what to do next
A distracted Molly remaining quite vexed
Because two years had gone by
And she just now realized
That Bill Hawkins never deleted her sext
Comment by billytheskink — July 18, 2011 @ 4:04 pm
These are awesome! Jason, milfordian, billy…and thanks for the haiku, jules.
Everyone thought Kenny a drag
To the gents he began to brag
Caddie Molly’s like butter
When I hand her my putter
Then she goes back to tugging my bag.
Comment by nedryerson — July 18, 2011 @ 7:21 pm
Goofy sounds, this strip’s got ‘em
There’s hronk, bonk, wak and krak
But the latest, this chud
Lands with a thud
Gents, ease up, we’ve hit rock bottom.
Comment by Dood — July 19, 2011 @ 7:27 am
A young golfer named Ken was so heady,
He thought he’d make Molly his steady.
He pulled out his driver,
But had to be a diver,
As her 19th hole wasn’t ready.
Comment by Moon Mullins — July 19, 2011 @ 10:12 am
Kenny Lark seemed ok ’til the “chud,”
When Moll saw he was only a dud.
Though ok as a golfer,
Deep down he was awfuller
Girls don’t go for guys who throw clubs.
Comment by vaganova — July 19, 2011 @ 11:38 am
There’s a golfer, Kenny, you see
Who taught Molly how to caddy for free
With disdain as was plain
He flung his club with no aim
“Oww!” said the unknown kid-in-tree
Comment by Dood — July 19, 2011 @ 1:23 pm
A Thorpian Onomatopoeia Haiku:
Chud, tunk, wap, nok nok
Skreech, wak, whump, ping, ease up, gents –
Check it! Count it! Hronk!
Comment by jules — July 19, 2011 @ 4:50 pm
Nice, Jules!
Comment by vaganova — July 19, 2011 @ 4:53 pm
lmao at all ! great job !!
when I sober up I will contribute…
right now it’s too hot
Comment by Gil'sBarber — July 21, 2011 @ 8:41 pm
Ease up Gil’sBarber!
Comment by nedryerson — July 21, 2011 @ 8:48 pm