2/20/12
“Coach Kaz said you wanted to see me?”
“Hmm, are you sure? The ad said ‘mature blond with large..’ Wait. You’re that kid with the tattoos right? Sit down, you got two minutes to explain your problem.”
“But you asked me here.”
“Yeah, that’s your first problem. The second problem is: quit marking up your body. If Charlie Sheen and I are going to occupy your host body on your 44th birthday, you need to quit crapping up the exterior with chintzy tattoos!”
“That’s John Malkovich.”
“Great story kid. If you ever need to talk about it, I’m sure someone can help you out. Maybe some mentor, or father figure type. Sorry, I dunno anyone like that. Just show yourself out, and be sure to wear a turtleneck to the next game.”
2/21/12
“…so he looks like my dad, acts like my pal, and something or other about sex with a mule…Oh, and he wants to pummel you in the face.”
“Crikey, is this a Jeopardy riddle? I know! What is donkey punch? “
What is a SUCKER?
Comment by Dale — February 21, 2012 @ 2:58 am
Sigh. Bored. I’m out. See you guys at football season.
Comment by Salinger — February 21, 2012 @ 3:34 am
Thanks for that Jeopardy link, Jason. I’d never seen that. I love Alex Trebek’s reaction, which to me sounds like a subtle acknowledgement that he knows full well how that answer was going to play.
I see Ransom has the same sippy cup as Marty Moon. Maybe Marty traded it to him for a tattoo on the back of his head that says “PUNCH HERE”.
Comment by Ned Ryerson — February 21, 2012 @ 7:16 am
Jason watches Jeopardy! Just like us old folks! Ooooh, sorry! HRONK!
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — February 21, 2012 @ 8:02 am
One time I got food poisoning from some bad onya.
Comment by billytheskink — February 21, 2012 @ 8:15 am
Wow, all this time I thought Parker Bowen was a dunderhead, and now he shows more insight than any other Mudlark ever: he’s seen through Gil’s facade. “He acts like he cares, but he doesn’t give a shit. And I don’t know what he’s got in his coffee cup, but his breath could bring down Foster Brooks.”
So now, having received no usable guidance from Coach Gil, Parker turns to the obvious choice for counsel: the local tattoo artist/DVD pirate. Yep, I guess he was a dunderhead all along.
(And for all my young friends in the Thorpiverse, here’s Foster Brooks.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzAXb7qCCAo
Comment by jvwalt — February 21, 2012 @ 8:17 am
Check please!
Comment by jules — February 21, 2012 @ 8:24 am
2/19 P3: Gildo “I’m here if there’s anything I can help with or that you want to talk about.”
Parker Dumba%s “Umm well, yes there is. Ever since dad blew out of town mom’s been pretty cranky and I’m starting to get a bit nervous the way she’s looking at me. Maybe you can take your old putter out of the bag and go for the hole with her if you know what I’m saying.”
2/20 P2: Parker “He rides me like a donkey then he acts like he’s my pal.”
Soul-Patch Aussie [multiple choice]:
a) “He sounds like a pendejo grande.”
b) “He sounds like a priest.”
c) “How ’bout I ink ‘Coach Thorpe is a Class A A-hole’ on ya?”
Comment by semperfi4evr — February 21, 2012 @ 9:00 am
2/19 P2: Is Parker based on one of those kids from Jersey Shore? I didn’t watch the show but have seen clips from it. The hair and potato nose are the tipoffs.
Comment by delvaldawg — February 21, 2012 @ 9:04 am
Is the spring script here yet? Marjie Ducey, please report to rewrite.
Comment by Dood — February 21, 2012 @ 1:36 pm
gil is like one of those guys who will donate 5 bucks to charity then go in a store and switch the price tags to save 10
Comment by mr12ozcan — February 21, 2012 @ 4:36 pm
Gil acting like he cares? That’s a first. He usually pawns off that responsibility on the janitor or the nearest pervert. Anyway, I’m more concerned with that crappy art behind Parker Nimrod. Is that something Gil drew on a napkin in a drunken stopr and had it framed?
Ransom: “Rides ya like a donkey eh? Get off the grass! So did he give your ferret a run?”
Parker: Huh?
Ransom: So he dropped trou and bonked ya”
Parker: Uh..bonk is something the basketball does when it hits the hoop
Ransom: Yer a bit of a dag, Now drop trou and lemmee give ya that Prionce Albert. Then Gildo will REALLY ride ya like a donkey.
Comment by Regina — February 21, 2012 @ 5:13 pm
OMG so many typos in my post. I think I’ve been hanging out with mr12oz can too much lol. I meant to say *stupor* and *Prince*. All of the Kiwi speak is correct, though.
Comment by Regina — February 21, 2012 @ 5:21 pm
The dates should read 2/20 and 2/21; not 2/19 (Sunday) and 2/20 (Monday). I checked todays strip on GoComics and its the same as the latest one here. Just letting you know so the dates arent off by one every day for future reference.
So Gil only cares about 1 guys tattoos, and not everyone elses? He needs a team meeting.
Comment by Rob — February 21, 2012 @ 7:45 pm
If Gil knows Milford Ink is selling tattoos, why doesn’t he send his friend the Police Chief to arrest him? And why doesn’t he just bar his team from going to Milford Ink under penalty of being kicked off the team? Another idiot plot.
Comment by Doug Puthoff — February 21, 2012 @ 8:28 pm
#15 Doug — We haven’t seen much of Police Chief lately. It may have something to do with the Thorps’ missing children; I think Gil and Mimi are ducking the cops because they might start asking questions*. So Gil will have to depend on his keen insight into human nature and/or Kaz’ fists of fury.
*”Thanks for inviting me over, Gil. The coffee was great, Mimi. Say, where are your kids? Been a while since I saw ‘em.” The Thorps share a meaningful glance. Gil sidles toward the fireplace and reaches for the poker, while Mimi fetches a cleaver from the kitchen.
Comment by jvwalt — February 22, 2012 @ 7:00 am
What about officer Wilbon? He could shut down this bootleg DVD ring. Bonk!
Comment by Dood — February 22, 2012 @ 8:45 am
Since no one has confirmed I’ve forced myself to look fro more about Jersey Shore than I’ve ever cared to. I’ve now convinced myself that Parker Bowen is modeled on the character “The Situation.”
I will now crawl back into my cave and resume hallucinating.
Comment by delvaldawg — February 22, 2012 @ 10:36 am
Say, I just had a thought… isn’t “He Rides Me Like a Donkey, Then Acts Like He’s My Pal” the debut single from Slim Chance and the Longshots?
Comment by jvwalt — February 22, 2012 @ 12:37 pm
I like Gil’s fake parade arm in the 2/20 first panel. Doesn’t he use that during Homecoming?
Comment by Dood — February 22, 2012 @ 1:26 pm
parkers next tattoo is a babys arm holding a apple . goodnight regina
Comment by mr12ozcan — February 22, 2012 @ 6:26 pm
From my point of view, the mis-named “Kitten” was the real reason to follow this story (who doesn’t love a degree of skank?) but she’s disappeared. I’ll continue to monitor Ransom or Clutch Cargo or whoever the hell he is saying “Good on you, cobber” in order to stay in touch with Jules and Regina as we plan the coffee table table dance, but you can’t make me like it. I thought Parker was coming down with Hep C a couple of weeks ago but maybe those are clean needles after all. Still struggling to see what the “serious conflict” is here. Bootleg dvds? Tats? Counterfeit Carvel?
Comment by vaganova — February 22, 2012 @ 6:45 pm
Jvwalt, “He Rides Me Like a Donkey, Then Acts Like He’s My Pal” was originally recorded by Gail Martin (she’s the rock and roll Carole King). It’s from her “Tarzana Nights” LP. Check it! Count it! Bonk! HRONK! FOOZLE! Ridgy-didge!
Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — February 22, 2012 @ 9:19 pm
Allow me to put this in perspective http://youtu.be/1daJAhdQ3aI
Comment by Clinton Parks — February 23, 2012 @ 6:36 am
We’re going to find that the tats and DVDs were nothing but red herrings……….the story will end up being about stolen valor………Clutch was never even in the boy scouts….he’s arrested, Parker no longer seeks his counsel and asks Gil what to do….Gildo passes him off to Kaz, who introduces him to the wild and wooly world of pierced nut sacks, leather underwear and dancing on coffee tables.
Comment by Knoxy — February 23, 2012 @ 7:36 am
Knoxy, that particular piercing you will not see at the coffee table dance. What Jules and Regina have up their, uh, sleeves I am not saying.
Comment by vaganova — February 23, 2012 @ 12:31 pm
Vaganova–I’m sure that everything will be above board….but once Kaz stumbles out of PUB there’s no telling what he’ll do. Our only hope is that Lini is willing to ambush him in an alley and offer some kind of, em, distraction. Meanwhile, Parker is having an “OM” tattooed to the right of his big “M”.
Comment by Knoxy — February 23, 2012 @ 9:48 pm
LOL Knoxy. I think Parker is going to have the “Ord” erased from “Milford” as well as the “P” from Pride and then he’ll go to Gil’s house to show him what he wants to do with Mimi.
Comment by Regina — February 24, 2012 @ 6:15 am
Of all the ideas for getting Mimi back into this strip, I like Regina’s the best.
Comment by vaganova — February 24, 2012 @ 7:17 am
How about a three way…..Mimi, Mr. Baskt and Clambake. On a coffee table. What the Hell, let’s throw Milfride in the mix, too.
Comment by Knoxy — February 24, 2012 @ 7:27 am