Please Coach, this is a softball game, not a wildlife park. League rules prohibit animals in the dugout. Please remove that chimp, preferably to somewhere downwind! What are you feeding that thing? It smells worse than the flamingo enclosure at the zoo.
NOOO!? I’ll give you NOOO!:
Just give the baby Gil his sippy cup full of bourbon. What’s the big deal?
Settle down, soldier? What happened to ease up, as in “ease up, Kiser”?
Ease up, Kiser. All I’m saying is that we could have made adequate arrangements for your baby hog chimp beast.
Chimp beast, “Jaxon”. Whatever. Look, I’ve got a cranky, pants shitting baby of my own at home to take care of. I’d kinda like to steer clear of that in my coaching career.
I didn’t know that Coach. How old is your baby?
Well he was created in 1958, so I guess he’ll be 70 this year.
(That joke never gets old…or does it?)