“What do you think about the team this year, Coach?”
“Well, Marjie, I think they’ll probably do better than those suckholes we had last year. What’d we go last year, like 3-6?”
“Actually it was 1-8.”
“Yeesh. Yeah, like I said, we sucked ass. But that was before I found our secret weapon Brophy Apropos. Have you seen that little weirdo kick the ball?”
“Do you mean Brody Abro, Coach?”
“Yeah, whatever. I just call him the best place kicker in the valley.”
“What else can we look forward to this year, Coach?”
“Well we’ve got linebackers and stuff…I’m sorry, I’m having trouble focusing looking at your moustache.”
Is it just me or is that a lot of red?
Right on schedule! The Irishman tries out for football….hey what happened to the part where the Irishman actually tries out for football? Oh, it was deleted due to boredom.
Yeah, you may feel like a knight, but you smell like Schweaty McBromhidrosis, the last guy who wore those pads.
A scrimmage just for the kickoff squad? Okay sounds like a recipe for disaster, but what do I know. It looks like Hamani Gaines has a special jersey that turns from red to white once he “breaks free”. (Of course…what kickoff squad scrimmage would be complete without such a special jersey?!)
Until…the ol’ Irish helmet to the groin.
“Anyone think they can handle returning kickoffs?”