“Coach Shaw! Teach this brutal bastard how to play defense, will yah? I think I’ve found the antidote to 1-8. Oh yeah, any of you other losers want to try kicking off?”
“Coach Shaw! Could you reexplain defense to this vicious bastard. I don’t want him to maim one of our few non-sucky players. Also could we reevaluate the use of red jerseys? The kids just seem to switch them around indiscriminately.”*
Look at the birds flocking around the Irish eejit. I thought this was already established at the Bucket. Wait, school is just starting now? Kids in Milford get a few extra weeks of summer so Gil Thorp can make the awkward transition from golf story to football. Eh, who cares about education?
“Burn him! He’s a an eejit…oh wait, he’s going to save our team. Burn that hippie girl’s guitar!!”
I guess nobody else could figure out how to kick off. Here’s to an outstanding football season.
*reference to all the fun we had with colored strips way back when. Remember that?