Happy Groundhog’s Day Eve, everybody! Seriously, will the coverage of this ersatz holiday never go away? I feel bad for contributing to it by even mentioning it on the blog, but it seems like when it comes to tomorrow that is all anyone is ever talking about on TV, radio, the internet, you name it. If only there were some other overhyped event taking place on February second that would at least spare us all of this nattering about rodents.
Now that that’s out of my system, let’s celebrate the beginning of February – the month of romance what with Valentine’s day (speaking of overhyped ersatz holidays) – with the delicate first steps of highschool courtship:
February 1, 2014
Wow! Wendy’s eyes may not be exploding – and I’m quite disappointed to see that they’re not – but that goggle eyed, slack jawed expression of fear and dread certainly belies her relatively understated ‘uh-oh.’ thought balloon. C’mon, we couldn’t get at least an exclamation mark there?!
Well, seeing as how I’ve got myself all worked up and, again speaking of overhyped things, let’s let Diana Krall lead us into the weekend with an enthralling rendition of the inspiration for today’s post’s title.
Man, her voice just transports you away to a place where her smooth jazz adult contemporary schlock almost drowns out the sound of cash registers ringing while stacks and stacks of money grow Judge Parker like with her each successive rendition of another tired pop song.
Rob notes in the comments that we have seen some of this before. You be the judge:
In response to yesterday’s strip, our own Ned replied:
“What the heck are they talking about? What exactly malfunctioned there? More importantly, how hard will this be to find and how much more violence will this inspire?”
Apparently, more violence on Wynn’s part, but we wouldn’t know it from looking at this strip:
We could infer that Oakwood hooper is making a crack over his shoulder toward Wynn but Wynn’s facial expression does nothing to give that away. Moments later, ironic facial-haired ref manages to throw a simultaneous Black Power and Nazi salute (I’m sure he’ll claim it’s a Roman or Bellamy salute) as he ejects young Wiley. Finally, shadowy figures in housecoats watch an equally shadowy Milford hooper drive to the basket.
Recognizing the lack of career potential in ballet for tall girls, Wendy makes her case for shifting focus to a sport with greater career potential. She then channels her inner Casey Stengel (or Yogi Berra, or Groucho Marx, or whomever).
Until I read this strip, I’d never heard of a basketball player being referred to as a “hooper.” A “hoopster,” yes, many times, but “Hooper” only as the last name of an animated cartoon character from the early days of television.
January 18, 2104
OK, so maybe that was Omari Troy and not Malik McCall… and I guess that wasn’t a flashback on Thursday so much as a flashforward with past voiceover… and… and… I’m sorry I can’t go on. That triptych of dimpled faces in panel one is just breaking me up.
Any theories as to what’s the clock like thingy in panel two? I mean, I guess it could be a clock but, if it is, then that means that they are practicing at seven in the evening (or morning I suppose).
Regardless, we can all relish another appearance by Marjie. So, Rob and the rest of us who appreciate bespectacled women of letters should be happy. It’s a shame that there isn’t a category for Marjie but I am not aware of how I can add that. I assume the proprietorship of this blog is in charge of that sort of thing. In any case, I have no doubt that billytheskink has a fully categorized excel file capturing every appearance of Marjie with relevant links to the archives and that they are sortable by things such as whether she is doing serious reporting or just cracking wise to Gil about two testosterone addled teenagers about to kill each other.
Bonus point: Gil’s patented ‘run them till they hurl’ coaching technique has been deployed!
January 13, 2014
Man, sometimes it’s as though the post titles almost write themselves.
Do you think Wunderkind Wendy noticed Jack as he moodily eavesdropped on her conversation with our would be lothario from St. Fabian? That would go a long way towards explaining her assessment of the scene just past.
For those unclear on the concept, or otherwise having trouble keeping up with the latest plot development, panel two neatly illustrates what experts refer to as a ‘love triangle’. Although, to be sure, this is technically more of a lust/oblivious/rage polyhedron of currently undetermined name once you factor in Winnie the Creep and Gil’s presumable involvement at some point.
Speaking of visual metaphors, let us all contemplate the symbolism of the shadowy figures in panel three anonymously shuffling towards the exit.
What a crappy child of the cold war I am… used to be a time I knew whether the number went up or down… welp, no sense doing a quick search to find out.
Anyway, let’s see what’s going on in today’s strip. Well, it seems that Jack Metzger is about to meet his destiny.
January 6, 2014
Ah yes, this is what all the panic at the top of the post was about. Jack Metzger, heretofore known to me as only gap-toothed bowlcut boy, has decided to further tempt the wrath of Wildman Wynn Wiley by introducing himself to Wendy.
This unconscionable sin against Wiley family honor stands about a 100% chance of leading quickly to a confrontation either in the hallways or on the practice court as Wynn metes out brutal elbow swinging justice in the one true cause of protecting his sister’s chastity.
Will Gil intervene? Possibly!
Will Jack get the gap knocked right out of his grin? It sures seems that way! Although, credit to Jack as he does seem to have had the foresight to protect his gnads by stuffing a catchers chest protector down the front of his pants.
Will Wendy be able to get back to her earlier task of arranging the books in her locker with her eyes closed? Sure! It’s easy when you have a second left hand growing out of the center of your chest!
January 2, 2104
Wait, panel one is this close to a flagrant foul but yesterday’s swinging elbow to the face wasn’t? OK. To be fair, it’s not especially clear what’s happening in the panel anyway but it’s nice to see that Wynn’s reign of terror on the hardwood has come to an end. Will it cost Milford the game and cause Gil to have to do some actual coaching? Time will tell.
Speaking of Gil, you have to give him credit as he demonstrates incredible emotional control (or just that he is pie eyed drunk) while he squintily contemplates that nightmarish gnarly thing at the end of the ref’s Popeye style forearm. I think Whigham may just be giving us some fan service by having that gruesome thalidomide induced thing front and center in panel three.
Bonus point: Beautiful up the nostril shot in panel two as Marty magically levitates a miniature tennis ball an inch from his face.
January 1, 2014
Well, I think this is mostly what we were looking for. I’ll admit I was hoping to see a crowd scene with everyone wearing see through platform heels and skanky clothes with some stripper poles thrown in for good measure. As it is, though, I’ll certainly take Wynn dishing out elbows to the face.
Now, I’m no expert, but I do enjoy watching basketball a great deal and have spent many an hour debating what does and does not constitute a ‘foul’. Perhaps the rules in the Valley Conference are a little different, but I’m confident that simply calling for the ball does not give you carte blanche to swing your elbow right into someone’s chops once you have possession. In fact, I’d think having the ball would only make it more likely that the refs would notice this transgression. Who knows though? Maybe these are reject Big Ten refs and they’re just ‘letting them play’. I do wonder how many times Wynn will get away with this before someone on St. Fabian’s levels him or he’s ejected for a flagrant foul…
1) I love that Wynn dislocates the St. Fabian’s player’s jaw immediately after he makes a fairly innocuous comment. I love it even more that the St. Fabe’s player shows his dedication to Fabian’s Fighting Friars by wearing a tonsure.
2) Panel two is a definite candidate for the Anatomically Implausible category. Too bad I can’t add that (or maybe I can and just don’t know how).