1970s Bush-face Explains it All!

11/10/09

“Hey Ma. Thanks for getting here so quickly! This place is scary…they say the ghost of Bing Crosby shuffles through the halls, pretending to be a doctor!”
“Well, it was a pretty long trip, or maybe it wasn’t? We had that loser Coach Shaw drive us all the way from Milford. He had nothing better to do, and it really wasn’t very far from here…Or wait, was it?”
“Oh and thanks for covering up the high beams you normally have goin’ on at home.”
“Well the jacket’s just for this cold room…how do you think I got us all in here past visiting hours…and got the guard, (who I presume exists, since somebody is supposed to be, you know, WATCHING A PRISONER when he’s not in JAIL??) to go home early?”
“That was quite the parenthetical aside, ma.”
“Thanks!”

11/11/09

“So Campo said somethin’ about my face taunting me, reminding him of  ‘1970s Bush’.  Then he whipped out that pointy thing from his pants and pricked me repeatedly. What a dick!”

Prison Rape Jokes: The staple of any good blog entry!

Beef, it’s what’s for dinner in prison. Also, sodomy.

So we’re back to getting teased with a potential fight in a North Carolina prison, which in context of everything else in Milford lately, is extremely exciting. No doubt that means this side plot will end up in massive disappointment. Oh well, I’ll take what I can get.

Now I’m no expert on prison lingo, but I find it hard to fathom that these guys would be using the word “beef” so much, except in the context of the showers.

More importantly, how did Curly Neal end up in prison, and why is he playing grab-ass with a legless inmate? (Hmm, maybe the second question helps answer the first…)

Speaking of implied sodomy, watch out shadow guy #2, shadow guy #1 has somethin’ for ya when you set that dumbbell back down!

Enter the Curmudgeon!

First off, thanks to Ned Ryerson for holding down the ever-so-exciting fort here last week! (Though updates every day, Ned? That kind of dedication is so 2008 at TWIM.)

Our big disappointment of the day proves to be that Marty Moon is apparently not involved in this traffic altercation. I suppose he’s still driving his mobile crate home. However, much to my surprise and excitement, there is a celebrity that Robb has pissed off here: He’s picked a fight with the one man no comic character should ever mess with: the Comics Curmudgeon himself, Josh Fruhlinger! (no doubt in a hurry to get back home to blog about Mary Worth before it gets boring again.) How will this play out? Well, if we’re lucky, Robbbb will soon get snarked to death.

Where the f**k is Rico?

8/31/09

Well there was just so darned much action this last month, they couldn’t wrap everything up Sunday…so we have Monday’s wacky post-script: Gil and Kaz playing golf! Luckily, Gil held true to his promise to relax and be completely boring all summer so we really shouldn’t be surprised how lame August was. But what ever happened to Mr. Bakst’s trip to Charleston? (No really, what the hell was the point of that panel?!?)

As Gil refers that he’s ready for some football, I can only presume he means sitting on the couch and watching it on TV…I mean, It’s not like he has any other obligations, right?  Finally, it’s nice to see the summer wrap up like a wacky 1980’s sitcom. Can’t you just picture the credits rolling across the last freeze-framed panel?

9/1/09

And on to something new! I was gonna look up who the real Brock Reed is…but then I got sidetracked into the even more awesomely-named Brock Landers and his partner Chest Rockwell. I’m sure the new adventure won’t be as awesome as this video clip (note, NSFW, language), but then again, what is?

So Robbb”Too Many Bs” Laruebb is so bored he’s drinkin’ on the lawn, even while Brock Landers Reed breaks the law by texting while mowing (those crazy kids today!) Its a good thing Duncan Daley’s coming back for a good blowout…I hear he attacks high schools!

Stay back. There’s ass everywhere

7/10/09

A sports program for underprivileged youth? How very…dull. The only interesting thing going on here is that Ted appears to be coaching a teenage version of Scott McCloud (author of Understanding Comics) as well as some flamboyant midget version of Brent Raptor.

7/11/09

The children rightly flee in terror at the thought of Gil showing up to practice. If only something would break to explode Mimi’s eyeball. Ah, there we go.

7/13/09

More like “Stay back, there’s ass everywhere.” If this is what’s going to constitute summer wackiness, I hope each successive baseball will feature more and more ginormous shots of Mimi’s butt n’ gams*, along with some bonus shards of glass sticking in Gil’s forehead.

*Buns n’ Gams…from the makers of Nutboy comes this all-new fattening and shitty snack!

It’s a Series of YouTubes.

OK, today is the last day I’m going to acknowledge the awkward use of the word “gents” in this comic. Gil is not British, so it just sounds lame. Dialogue space saver? Maybe. But how about ‘guys’, ‘fellas’, ‘boys’, ‘kids’, or NOTHING AT ALL? You all probably think I’m worked up over something stupid, so thankfully for the last time: <end Jason’s gents rant>

On to Gil himself. His punishment/lesson/torture wouldn’t be so bad if it made even one tiny bit of sense. And I bet he doesn’t even know what a memory card is. Up next, Gil and ranting former Senator Ted Stevens have a conversation about the Internet. (Note: It’s not a big truck.)

And now that all his players are currently either dying in horrible agony or already dead, at least something good came out of this whole exercise. But since it’s nearing mid-June, isn’t it cardboard bikini season rather than dead baseball player season?

This is pretty much the worst post ever made.

5/2/09

5/4/09

Wow, first the two stooges employ Napoleon Dynamite to film them…then they engage in a wacky sure-to-backfire scheme…and then there’s today’s panel three shout-out to Lio (who shouted out to Gil last month.)  There’s a lot going on, I just wish I had the time for further analysis! But there’s a lot going on around my dojo. I mean, do you think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. And do you think anybody thinks I’m a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!

Now comment away, I’m off to hunt wolverines with my uncle in Alaska.

Yo, a little help?

4/22/09

Thanks to Molly Kinsella getting lost in the Crock desert for several days, where she proceeds to hallucinate about tennis balls, the Milford girls lose the game!

4/23/09

Meanwhile, a reluctant (mostly reluctant to have to look at the ugliest mug in Milford. Ugh, no more close-ups of Thumb Poser please!) Robb Larue is about to give Shep the bad news that Bill “Opie” Hawkins is already putting the moves on Molly. I mean, who else would it be? Also, he should explain that a wingman can only do his job for the pilot when the pilot didn’t previously crash face-first into a chemical waste dump.

And even more meanwhiler, I would have never imagined a legitimate comic would ever attempt a Gil Thorp cross-over, but apparently such a thing has now happened. Thanks to alert reader Debbie, here’s this Wednesday’s Lio:

I’d have to say the weirdest thing about this is that Lio is being attacked by the Frank Bolle-era Gil Thorp characters… More specifically, it’s the characters from March 4th of last year!

Thumbs up to Mark Tatulli for this cross-over, which still makes way more sense than the real strip ever does! Thoughts?