This Week in Milford

August 28, 2014

Better Living Through Marty

Filed under: Coach Kaz, football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Marty Moon, metapost — teenchy @ 5:14 am

August 28, 2014

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Steve Boone only sees the holes in that chain link fence and at the end of his left shirt sleeve. (BTW, isn’t it refreshing that he lets his sleeves dangle free instead of pinning them up like that band director lady in Funky Winkerbean? No pity party here, at least not anymore.) Nevertheless Gil puts a gag order on Steve before he talks to Dante Hicks Marty Moon.

You’d think after all these years Marty would understand how team sports work. I’d interpret his zinger attempt as a jab at Gil’s inability to land True Standish but for the fact we’ve been given no indication Marty even knows about The Truman Show. Probably spent his summer redecorating his crate and passing out drink cups. “That’s why I’m the coach and you’re the microphone talking guy, Marty.”

The reference to chemistry on top of Saad Shamoun’s rapid muscle gain is such a broad hint at steroid use I’m not even gonna bite on it today (well, except in the title of this post, of course).

Gil wasn’t left entirely unfazed by his chat with Marty.

“How was Moon yesterday?”

“Typically sour.”

“How sour was he?”

“So sour my head shrunk and my neck stretched. Hopefully this nice steaming hot cup of Gil will restore me to my usual proportions.”

I had to do a double take at the papers in Kaz’s hand to realize he was looking at Xs and Os. At first I thought it read “Vigo” in cursive and that Kaz was reading for the long-awaited Ghostbusters III.

Meta moment: Today is the first day of school for the high schoolers in our district; the elementary and middle schoolers went back yesterday. In that respect Whigrub aren’t far off the mark, though the football team here has been going in full pads for at least the past week.

August 23, 2014

Feeling Standish’s Pull

August 23, 2014

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I fell asleep and dreamt just about winning conferences

Read the scene where Art Standish is jerking me around
Light up the Valley light up the sky
Stomp Valley Tech into the floor
It’s a Gil Thorp kind of sky
I can’t show you what I can do with it
Wins and talent are out of place here

Step up, step up, step up our guy is rubber-armed
If the job was mine, I felt Standish’s pull

Sometime late last week he said
“We’re not big-time”, I said “We can be”
Pass, run, teams to beat, records fall on floating feet
It’s a Gil Thorp kind of sky
I can’t show you what I can do with it

Step up, step up, step up our guy is rubber-armed
If the job was mine, I felt Standishes pull onto my eyes,
Holding my head high (looking up)
This is the crappiest task I’ve ever had to do

I fell asleep and dreamt just about winning conferences

Read the scene where Art Standish is jerking me around
Pass and run, teams to beat
Records fall on floating feet
It’s a Gil Thorp kind of sky
I can’t show you what I can do with it
Wins and talent are out of place here

Step up, step up, step up our guy is rubber-armed
If the job was mine, I felt Standishes pull onto my eyes,
Holding my head high (looking up)
This is the crappiest task I’ve ever had to do
Ennui had harnessed the lame
Holding a drink in their hands
Gil Thorp pulls me down

 

 

 

*apologies to Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe

August 21, 2014

Daydreams About Night Things*

Filed under: Coach Kaz, football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad, Secret Thoughts — teenchy @ 6:10 am

August 21, 2014

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The sexual innuendo in today’s strip is so chunky you can eat it with a fork, but you’ll want to use a spoon to catch every… wait a minute, we’re not at the Copyright Cantina!

“I’ll see you at the end of the season.” What does Gil know that we don’t? That the Mudlarks and VT will meet in the season finale? That True will transfer to Milford after football season? I don’t even want to waste time speculating.

I just feel for poor Kaz. His daydreams probably didn’t even focus on the unspeakable filth he’d do with True but on his fading hopes of career advancement and a shot at coaching glory. The maelstroms of emotion he’s going through! Anger to the point of inflicting a razor cut on Gil. Self-loathing to the point of cutting himself with that same razor. Weary resignation that being an assistant for Gil means never being able to compete on level ground. Humiliation that True could choose Valley Tech – that trade school! – over Milford.

In P3 Gil suffers from what Daffy Duck famously referred to as “Pronoun trouble.”

“It’s not ‘Maybe we’re not cut out to be quite so big-time.’ It’s ‘Maybe you’re not cut out to be quite so big-time.’”

“That’s true, Kaz, maybe you’re not cut out to be quite so big-time.”

“No, no Gil, it’s not ‘Maybe you’re not cut out to be quite so big-time,’ it’s ‘Maybe I’m not cut out to be quite so big-time.’”

“That’s what I said. Maybe you’re not cut out to be quite so big-time.”

“SO SHOOT ME NOW!’”

 

*Apologies to Ronnie Milsap. Maybe induction into the Country Music Hall of Fame will make up for it.

August 19, 2014

The Tao Of Gil (And Kaz)

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Coach Kaz, exposition comics, Gil Thorp — timbuys @ 5:53 am

August 19, 2014

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Well, the non-whacky summer plot might just be wrapping up. It has been an interesting one, reminding me of that classic koan/riddle: if a tree does nothing particularly interesting in a forest, how will TWIM bloggers snark about it? 

Following that thought, let’s use today’s strip to explore some philosophical questions. Perhaps, at the end, much like a journey of a thousand miles beginning with a single step, we’ll end up right where we started. Regardless, as we all know, wherever you are, that’s where you’ll be. Oh man, this is getting deep.

So, Kaz appreciates that the lazy summer – where his job as the 7-on-7 coach entails a main responsibility that he not do anything at all – has somehow convinced himself that the endlessly repetitive, mindless stacking of helmets and shoulder pads is about as good as it gets. Give Gil credit for suckering him in on that one. Next thing you know Gil will have him whitewashing his fence.

Panel two gave me my inspiration for this post’s theme. I think, if I have this right, that the stumper here goes as follows: If the question you never asked receives no answer, then perhaps the answer has already been given. 

I’m mostly gonna ignore panel three rather than try to cram it into the theme though. At first I thought it was something to do with True being on the level or some crap like that, but then I noticed the walking boot and that just makes the whole panel even more inane. 

 

August 18, 2014

Do You Have St. Fabian Boy On Tap?

Filed under: Coach Kaz — nedryerson @ 6:07 am

8/18/14
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Hello everybody, Kaz’s earrings here with a special greeting for all our loyal fans out in This Week in Milford land. It’s great both of us to be featured so prominently in a Gil Thorp strip, even if, and this is just our personal opinion, it is a bit of a dud of a strip in that it doesn’t advance the plot and pretty much just reiterates the tired premise that Art Standish is a tool. Nevertheless, we are so happy that Kaz gets a right and a left profile, each of which feature us, along with our great friends, those wicked sideburns as well as the temples of Kaz’s sunglasses. How awesome is this? Probably the best day of the summer. Okay, we admit, Art Standish in Panel 3 with an expression on his face like he might have just sharted in his rental car is pretty noteworthy, but still we really shine here.

As you all likely know and have indeed commented on in the past, we have evolved over the years from some sort of hoops into sort of simple, small discs. Yes it is awkward for us too, but we are loath to explain why. It’s just something that happens in to earring community. I think we can all agree that, despite our metamorphasis, we still accentuate the hell out of Coach Kaz’s lobes.

Hey, it’s been great catching up with all you guys. Follow us on Twitter or Instagram if we ever set up an account.

Oh, and don’t forget, Art Standish is a douche.

August 16, 2014

The Receivers You Have

Filed under: Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 8:56 am

August 16, 2014

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I believe it was Donald Rumsfeld who said “You go to war with the receivers you have, not the receivers you might want or wish to have at a later time.”  Or something like that. In any case, none of that registers with Art who wants the Hershey kid on the Mudlarks so that True can throw to him. Implicit in this statement is that Art has resigned himself to go along with True’s desire to play for Milford.

How’s Art gonna react when he finds out Keegan is a multi-sport athlete? True obviously doesn’t care; he sees Keegan’s layup skills as a bonus for all the times he’ll sail the ball over his receiver’s head. Maybe True wants Keegan at Milford to serve as his wingman as he pursues Wendy Wiley.

Kaz is clearly on to Art’s shenanigans; I’m guessing Gil filled him in over Long Island Iced Teas back at the pool. It’ll be fun to see if Kaz, who’s already on the record (well, sort of) as wanting to see True come to Milford, will try to get the wheels turning to get Keegan in a Mudlark uni as well. So much potential tension here – between True and his dad, True and Nathan Hale, Keegan and the Wileys, Gil and Kaz. I can’t wait to see how it all fizzles out over the course of a week.

Today’s TWIM post is brought to you by “Tires” – the official tire supplier of BACKYARD TIRE FIRE!

 

July 17, 2014

Guess Who’s Coming to Milford

July 17, 2014

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So Kaz suggests that by not offering The Truman Show a “package” to play at Milford he’s somehow chasing them away? Milford High an SEC school or something now? Wouldn’t it make more sense for the presumably private, parochial St. Fabian’s to do something like that?

Nice form by Gil, even three sheets into the wind, BTW. Kaz doesn’t even carry a club but needs a golf glove to use his smartphone. Its superior screen resolution shows a player stiff-arming his way through a pile of watermelons but Kaz is already sold. The tension between Kaz (so tired of Gil’s underachieving Mudlark squads) and Gil (principled or lazy?) is so thick you could cut it with a knife…

… which is what Mimi’s prepared to do! As Gil uncorks the wine, Mimi chops up enough cabbage and potatoes to feed a small army (or those kids the Thorps have locked away in the basement). Gil only has two wine glasses out; is all that for just them?

Mimi’s practically begging for us to Google Truman Standish, so let’s do it, okay? Okay! Well, it’s not an exit sign on an Interstate highway in Ohio. The most we get is that it’s the maiden and married name of a woman who died in Missouri in 1894 – but also the first and middle names of a man from Pennsylvania who died in Michigan in 1904. That’s Rubin country and that’s good enough for me.

July 16, 2014

Don’t Really Want To Think About Gil’s Two Part Package

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, golf — timbuys @ 4:41 am

July 16,2014

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Today we learn that, yes, the Standishes are indeed terrible awful people who have come to the conclusion that if others are to benefit from True’s talent and effort, then they might as well get some tangible rewards as well. Or, just as likely, we learn that while Gil may be drunk six ways to Sunday all Summer, he can smell a grifter from a mile away and is holding off on offering these two anything based solely upon Art’s word that his kid is highly rated on the ‘coast’. Notice that Standish pere never specified which coast he meant. Sure, could be the East Coast, maybe the West Coast, of heck even the Gulf Coast. For all the context we’ve been given it could just be the coast of Lake Erie or the Cote d’Ivoire.

Bonus points: Hey, gratuitous golf scene! I’m sure the golfers in the audience will know exactly what that, to me, mysterious implement Gil is wielding in panel three is, so no Pantheon for it.

Also, after having to contemplate Gil’s package, aren’t we all glad we only had to get a profile shot of him bending over in his tight, tight shorts?

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