The action is coming at us at a breakneck pace! The Fugitive with the lead pipe WAK!s Hairy Hercules! Stunning cameos! Why am I yelling!?
Referee Bob Kazinski? Why so formal, narrator?
Now, the last panel is where all the fun is. Gil looks like he’s some sort of Chippendale dancer reboot in yoga pants. What’s up with the sign? I can’t think of a single logical thing that that sign is supposed to say:
Rock Me Copernicus?
Rocking Curt? (Hi, I’m Rocking Curt and this is my sign.)
Send your answers to:
Foley Law Group LLC
10 North Frederick
They’re sure to be suing somebody over something that’s happening here.
If someone had told you a year ago that you would be reading a Gil Thorp strip with Marty Moon screaming “The Mauler has Dandy in the Big Herk!“, you would have scratched your head and said, “Huh? Who are you and what are you talking about? Now go away!”
Say, what was Big Herk!? We never got to see it. Last we saw, Gil was squeezing Herk’s melon.
I heard that at least ten backyard wrestling fatalities in the last year have been caused by kids attempting the Big Herk!
Please, if you aren’t a trained professional, don’t try the Big Herk!.
Moving on to….holy exploding eyeballs, it’s a melee! Everyone is acting appropriately SHOCKED! (But Gil’s bowtie is still neatly in place.)
Our intrepid high school coach squares off in semi-choreographed violence with a seventy-something year old man with advancing dementia…AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!
I’m going to imagine that the close up crowd reaction was prompted by Gil getting his arm twisted like a creuller and his face defenselessly slammed into the ropes.
Is Herc going to remember any of the scripted moves after his head is violently THUD!ed into the turnbuckle? Does Gil know what he’s doing?
Who cares, keep it weird and violent and you get no comlaints from me.
Yeah, this is going to work out just fine, provided we can find a “joint” that will waive all insurance considerations. Maybe the SwiftMart parking lot?
Okay Gil, go ahead and bring everyone up to speed on your totally whacked out “plan”. I really love how Gil and Kaz pump iron while Gil shares his latest completely nonsensical plan to “help” people with their problems. It’s kind of like all those deep philosophical discussions that Ponch and Jon used to have on CHiPs while they roared down the freeway on their police motorcycles.
Here’s a prior episode of lifting exposition:
Hey readers, I sorta looked (but not that hard) to find other Gil and Kaz working out exposition and only came up with one. If you spot others (either in TWIM archives or in that other place), let me know in the comments and I’ll add them to the post.
Let’s all learn a lesson from Jimmy. Jimmy doesn’t hold grudges. Jimmy has compassion for his teammates and his fellow man in general. Jimmy turns the other cheek and offers encouraging words when the chips are down. Jimmy comforts even the biggest douches when those douches need comforting. In fact, Jimmy recognizes that it’s the douches that need comforting the most, so he reserves his broadest smiles for them, that they might be healed not only of their short term pain, but their long term douchiness. Jimmy knows that a D.P. partnership is not entered into lightly. Jimmy knows that it constitutes a brotherly bond, a closeness that most men never know. We have so much to learn from Jimmy.
But for now, Jimmy’s got this, so let’s go get loaded.
Oh, so that’s how it is at the Foley Law Group. The shit does not roll uphill. Stan Foley will take none of the personal responsibility for putting his obnxiously eager son/colleague on the case. What about Geoff McKay? We only learned of his existence at the deposition where he introduced himself as an “associate”. That could mean just about anything. He could be the IT guy or the guy that delivers water, or some guy who wandered in off the street, Cosmo Kramer-like, and just started “practicing law”. Stan Foley obviously doesn’t give a crap, even if it hits him in the wallet.
Say, Mr. Jarbo. In lieu of a cash settlement, ya got anybody ya want me to sue? I’ll put one of my best men on it. Maybe even an actual lawyer!
Meanwhile, the clock ticking on baseball season, Kaz and Gil check in with a “power-moping” Fartknocker.
Power mopping?! Hold on a minute, that’s my department!
Ease up, Steve Luhm. I said moping!
Oh, never mind.
My unplanned vacation couldn’t have happened at a better time, since these five strips bring us right back to where we were.
Let’s catch up:
Your dad uses bath salts, lots of it? Well that would explain a lot. Has he eaten anybody’s face off lately. What? Oh nevermind.
Freakishly long finger and a crotch frame around HOWARYA!
So, this mock trial is another venue for Stuff and Dinny to do their “Proctologist and Handjobber” routine?
Yes, Gil, call in the “bailiff” and have him do what? Put tape over the mouths of the disruptive jurors or just dispense with some suppressive violence? Maybe the bailiff should get his right arm of justice checked out. I think it deflated.
Okay, we’ve wasted a week sitting here, one more joke from Dinky and the Knob and then we can move on…
and now we’re moving on because this has been put to bed! D’oh! Wait, what? Tie goes to the douche, I guess?
aaaaand here we are. Okay Gil, what else ya got? We can hardly wait.
So they actually did it! Well, that’s something.
“C’mon guys! It’s dark in here and it’s all hot and it hurts and stuff!”
You know, the feeling never lasts. It just doesn’t.
Milford’s DP Combo? That sounds dirty.
Okay historians, is Marty making these names up in a sippy cup fueled crate reverie or did those guys actually appear in the strip?
Oh boy, this is going to make a great story! [/Mark Trail]