No, But He Sat In A Tree Once

1/9/13

Sitting and rehashing a high school basketball game over the tepid macchiatos the Java Jernt is known for sounds like the most unappealing thing two adult couples could do.  Kelly is openly stifling a yawn.

Cut to Mia and her Boo, the centerpiece of the winter plot. Is Mia disturbed by Fowler’s strange assertions about the peacock? Has she been around for his grieving prior to the peacock sighting? This would probably inform her feelings about this latest development. It appears that their love doesn’t have much back story.

1/10/13

Wow! This dialogue is worthy of Hepburn and Tracy. (Yeah we love some ancient references here. What of it?) So witty and lighthearted, as if they weren’t talking about a dead little brother at all!

On second thought, maybe hanging at the coffee shop would have been preferable.

I Was Led To Believe There Would Be Tiny Tots With Their Eyes All Aglow

12/25/12

Merry Christmas from Kelly Krystek, Bob Kazinski, Mimi and Gil Thorp.

Put on a turtleneck, banish your kids, clamp on your hottie and celebrate Christmas the Gil Thorp way.

Catch Up With Random Thoughts

12/19/12

P1: Shelby Hunter. Take her to The Bucket and hook her up to the rich dairy tube.

P2: The Bucket Featuring the Burger Plop.

P3: Mia Meeks. You’re up. Provide the sad back story of Scott’s ill fated little brother.

12/20/12

P1: Features background chow down by Hotdog McSportcoat.

P2: Loved bright colors. Loved to laugh. Loved walks in the rain. Loved mushing up his ice cream. Speaking of ice cream, take it easy on that shake, Shelby. You’re gonna suck your face right into that straw!

P3: Whoa Shelby, is that a milkshake or pipe bomb? (features drive-by by Flatty McSquarebutt) Oh, and Boo?

12/21/12

P1: Ms. Pinky, Jamjar, Screech and Phranc.

P2: Is that Scott getting de-tonsiled by the Corcoran player?

P3: Corcoran defender has a 360 degree rotating wrist?

12/22/12

P1: What are we looking at? Gil talking to the team? During a game? What is this strange practice?

P2: Boo Go Bonk!

P3: Step in, Kaz. Gil’s coaching gland is depleted already. Go over to Bonker McBoo and put your hand on his leg. No, your own leg. No wait, better just take an extra leg over there to put your hand on.

12/24/12

P1: Good game, Brian Keith.

P2: All the way from Sherwood Forest?

P3: A Paige Candy connection.

 

Thanks for enduring the laziest format. Happy Holidays everybody.

Getting Ripped In The Afternoon In The Dojo With Coach Kaz

What, is it Monday already? Too much stuffing and beer is bad for blogging. What did I miss since the last post? What is that, Kaz/Gil slash fiction happening here? I think I’m gonna be sick.

11/23/12

How, shove it in our faces how detached Gil is from his job! “Yeah, I heard that Irish kid is on a real cold steak! I can’t have him moping around crying the no pussy blues. You think I can have Stumpy talk to him?”
“Stumpy? You mean Steve?”
“Yeah you knew who I meant.”
“Well, Gil, Steve already straightened Terry out after all those ridiculous penalties.”
“Oh yeah. Who else we got?”
“How about that creepy kid with the vest? He’s supposedly behind this. Doyle Dane.”
“Yeah sure. Let’s rip through this next set then it’s wine o’clock at the country club.”

11/24/12

“Look here, Dagwood, I’m not gonna stick my nose into this thing for a couple more weeks so why don’t you help Terry tone it down a bit with the bragging and the posing and stuff.”

Hey, isn’t that the same joke we’ve heard over and over again? Gil doesn’t care. Gil gets drunk and leaves the heavy lifting to others, no matter who they are. Gil waits until the last minute to stroll in and issue a verbal smack down. Yeah, it’s the same joke. In the words of the late, great Donald “Duck” Dunn, “if the shit fits, wear it!”

Crisis P.R.? Is that what you call that Duk Dong? Looks like moping. We ain’t got time for that now, we have to THROTTLE THAYER!

What’s that you say? Where’s Monday’s strip? We need to do some crisis blogging, then we’ll be back with you shortly.

Those Bucket Fries Are So Tasty I Could Eat…One

10/17/12

One more panel of outer Bucket snogging folks and now the worm is turning. Irish footballer Terry Gallagher can reenter the Bucket and brag about the tremendous amounts of tail he’s going to get from his new found fame. Gosh and begorrah, a tool in the making.

Cyndy Canty (the goddess of basketball, since we’re gettin’ all legendary here) feeds Chip Visci a hand carved wooden french fry.

10/18/12

Now lets go visit the Jeffs, where we get a visit from Trainer Rick Scott drawing smiley faces on Safety Ric Devore’s knees or injecting horse tranquilizers into Safety Ric Devore’s knees, or whatever he does.

In game action, Milford catches a break when Jeff’s receiver Thurgood Peasprattle suffers involuntary elbow and wrist spasms right before his eyeballs explode.

10/19/12

Milford’s astonishing lack of depth is further revealed as is their luck in playing the Jeff’s, the clown princes of the Valley Conference. The Irishman is getting Bonk!ed on and off the field.

10/20/12

Yay, other guys doing actual football things for the Mudlarks, sealing a victory over the hapless Jeffs!

Now back to Doyle Dane Ding Dong Daddy, who’s gonna spin this crap three ways to Sunday. Why? Why no? This s what is is gang and the TWIM crew lacks the skill of Ding Dong to make anything of this dog turd of a plot.

Will the one armed coach start punching players? Are the Gallaghers from Detroit? We got nothin’

Another Week, Another Eh

9/24/12

Not sure, but it looks like Terry Gallagher is calling Chip Visci a huge pussy.

9/25/12

Not sure, but it looks like Stefan Harvey is offering Terry Gallagher some crack.

9/26/12

Not sure, but it looks like Terry Gallagher’s gonna text his Dad and tell him not to wait up.

9/27/12

Not sure, but Doyle Dane might just be the stupidest new character in a long time. To what end does one high school student “market” another high school student? It doesn’t matter. This “plot point” need not make sense as it has zero potential for any payoff, except maybe some jokey thing where Doyle Dane gets stuck with a bunch of Irish Dude t-shirts with ridiculous puns on them.

9/28/12

Not sure, but it looks like that psychotic kid brought his inflatable sex doll to the Ballard game (and Jamarr Gaddis is in attendance again).

9/29/12

Not sure, but  I think Coach Shaw is getting shortchanged on again! Maybe he needs some marketing help from Doyle Dane to increase his visibility in the ultra competitive face time landscape.

 

In interesting comments to old posts news, a comment was left on the post featuring Molly Kinsella and her cardboard underwear by Mkins, who states that she is the real Molly Kinsella and the inspiration for Milford’s Molly Kinsella:

Coming across this strip is too funny. I actually am the Molly Kinsella that this character was based off of and, while I haven’t followed where the strip went, Rubin did actually spot a picture of me in a carboard box outfit (not a swimsuit tho…) on facebook! I had posted it because it was funny. I WAS being “silly” with some college friends for a dorm event and we had to construct silly outfits from cardboard for an event. Nothing creepy, nothing weird, no alcohol (or caffeine even as I recall), just a funny and fun time with friends. It wasn’t even too racy, but eventually I did take the picture down because of pressure that it would interfere if employers saw it (which I’m sure it would have!). Thanks for the fun reads on this page though, too funny that a real, random event from my life became a strip in Gil Thorp! loved all the strips growing up!!! And I did play basketball in high school! :)

Thanks for stopping by mkins. Feel free to share your picture and let us decide if it’s weird or creepy. C’mon, no employer is gonna find it here!

Everything’s More Fun When You’re Holding The Whistle

9/6/12

Hey, what happened to the “Goddess of Basketball”? We barely got to know Cyndy Canty and we’re already introducing two new characters, Mia Meeks and Doyle Dane. (See a pattern here?) Okay, so what’s Doyle Dane’s story? He’s another potential rival for Terry Gallagher, who’s going to start shagging and making enemies any day now.

9/7/12

So Doyle’s basically a douchey stalker in a sweater vest, so Terry might want to steer clear of stalker target, Mia Meeks so Doyle doesn’t shiv him with a protractor. Looks like the Irish import’s drawing attention from all over, so he can take his pick.

Well done, Neal. You’ve got us guessing where this is going to go, ascribing all kinds of potential love triangles or love parallelograms. Now we wait to see how you will forget to further any of this or otherwise overcook it into the same old mush.

9/8/12

Speaking of overcooked mush…oh yeah, football season and (back by popular demand!) Steve Boone. Well, that’s certainly…hey look, Kaz’s little forelock curl is waving at us from behind Steve’s speech bubble. Hi there!

Meanwhile Chipper is taking advantage of the Gallagher’s lax attitude about underage drinking by visiting Terry’s house and getting twisted on the black stuff.

“Whipped? Putting pads on? I have no idea what this mentaller is rabbiting on about, but I guess I’ll have to go have a squizz”

Mega-Awesome Mega-Post

4/2/12

4/3/12

The first game requires the long bus ride to Green Cove Springs, Florida, which creates ample opportunity for the jackasses to be jackasses on the two day bus ride home.

4/4/12

Yep, mega-awesome jackasses.

Wait, is that Sackodog and Matt the Hatt traveling with the team, or just a douchebag hat on a non-descript Mudlark giving me false hope that something interesting is happening?

4/5/12

Did that Layfayette General just fart out a  hot dinner roll into the catcher’s mitt? Is that really the start of a double-play or is Alpo having a full body dry heave?

Gents? Wait, what about the game?

4/6/12

More jackassery…but wait! There is more softball action! Yay!

4/7/12

Mega-Awesome Dinny is gonna put some moves on that “girl from the alternative school”. Guess what, Dinny. She doesn’t socialize because of some “thing”, but you’re not to know what that “thing” is. So you can assume that that “thing” is your repulsive face or your stupid, jackass attitude. But guess what? It’s not you, it’s her. Actually it’s her “thing” and you’re really better off knowing about it or seeing it right now. We’re all better off.