Hell no, don’t call me Tim

10/20/09

10/21/09

10/22/09

Aha, we finally figured out what happened to the key character of the last few months. I’m talking of course about Mr. Bakst, who after booking a bus trip to Charleston, got confused (after all he was in the South, in a town starting with “Charl”…who wouldn’t get confused?) and ended up at some bar in Charlotte, whereupon he encountered Danny Daley. Mr. Bakst asked him if he was any relation to Tim Daly, which seemed quite odd to Danny as Mr. Bakst didn’t even know his name when he asked this question. Naturally a conversation such as this one turned heated, and one broken jaw and a concussion later Danny “not Davey and hell no, don’t call me Tim” Daley found himself in the Catawba Correctional Center. (Name dropped due to all Neal’s friends who live there.)

Up next (my imagination version): DannyDaveyDaley demonstrates how to make a shiv out of a straw, use it to escape, and exact bloody revenge on all idiots who ever mentioned Tim Daly to him.

Up next (boring actual version): Gil pretends to care about a player, at least to avoid having him murder anyone other than Marty Moon. Neal continues to write about high school students with hot tempers, big egos, or both, because hey, he’s only covered that about five other times recently so how could it get old, Tim?

Ease up, dumbed-down Dunc!

10/2/09

The only thing of interest going on here (since we didn’t get to see Duncan finish kicking that guy’s ass) is the return of “ease up”! For previous “ease up” experiences at this blog, click here.

10/3/09

“Wait, why are we doing things at…half…speed? So nobody gets hurt?”
“Nah we could give a rat’s ass about that. The only downside to an injury is that then we have to see that loser trainer Rick Scott. Mainly we do it half…speed so that if Gil ever shows up (I know, I know, like that will happen…) we can be moving at a speed that his drunk ass can kinda follow. Now go crush that Charles Bloom wuss again, while he’s sitting on the bench. Smack him around like he was a bad driver. Just be sure you do it in slow motion.”
“Yes…sir.”

Duncan Dodge

Uh-oh. The bad-tempered curmudgeon wants a fight! And the  increasingly-evil-looking Robb seems happy to oblige…He’s also apparently mistaken boring Duncan for killer Cully, in terms of enforcement abilities.

Fortunately, boring Duncan doesn’t need any skills besides ACTION-DUCKING, as our protagonist apparently took his boxing lessons from one-legged Bill, rather than attending the more prestigious Bob Kazinski’s Boxing Academy. Guess that’s all he could afford on an angry blogger’s salary.

Enter the Curmudgeon!

First off, thanks to Ned Ryerson for holding down the ever-so-exciting fort here last week! (Though updates every day, Ned? That kind of dedication is so 2008 at TWIM.)

Our big disappointment of the day proves to be that Marty Moon is apparently not involved in this traffic altercation. I suppose he’s still driving his mobile crate home. However, much to my surprise and excitement, there is a celebrity that Robb has pissed off here: He’s picked a fight with the one man no comic character should ever mess with: the Comics Curmudgeon himself, Josh Fruhlinger! (no doubt in a hurry to get back home to blog about Mary Worth before it gets boring again.) How will this play out? Well, if we’re lucky, Robbbb will soon get snarked to death.

The great annual tradition of burning down the school continues!

9/15/09

Gil gives Robbbb Larue the halfback job because it’s the only name he currently remembers. What’s most shocking about today is the fact that Coach Shaw, (or “he of the inexplicably thick Billy Mays beard”) continues to have lines and/or opinions about things. Whigham was so surprised to have to draw him again that he just redrew the soulless pupil-free side shot from Friday, the added some retroactive exploding eyeball lines for good measure. Nice half-assin’, Whigham!

What will Robbbbb’s role be? Hopefully excitedly DOING 12-OUNCE CURLS! YEARRRGH!

9/16/09

This year’s post-apocalyptic nightmare bonfire is brought to you by Glenn Beck’s crazy-as-a-loon army of angry sheep! (“Where’s Gil’s birth certificate?!?”)

Followed by Gil’s annual doubts! (“How many weeks will they expect me to show up to games this year?”)

Followed by kickoff! (“Hello, Milford. Based on the past decade, your season is now over.”)

More Bored-er With Less Border

So I actually like Whigham’s experimental borderless first panel. That leaves Midget Gaddis free to roam the comic pages, to hit on Cathy or get unsolicited advice from Mary Worth (who will no doubt also throw him over her shoulder and give him that spanking he sorely deserves.) But he best watch out to not get mistaken for an extra in Family Circus and beome trapped in that circular ring of Hell forever. On the other hand, that would be a fitting punishment for 4′6″ Jamarrrrr, seeing as how he’s already severely agitated us in just a few days of appearances.

Poor Ted Catches a Stinkin’ Poll

8/21/09

Can I find a glimmer of interest in this? Sure, just take a line out of context:

“Every night. Poor Ted has to stay and be the catcher.”

Yeah that’s fun. Big fun, Coach Ted.

8/22/09

Nothing brings out a poll like a continually lame summer plot! So here ya go…

Everyone hits bottom

8/4/09

After doing my best to not have perverted thoughts about giant pop bottles in panel one,  I can’t get past the connection between panel two’s graphics and the third panel phrase “hit bottom, Mimi.” Suffice to say, I’m not really paying attention to the plot at this point.

8/5/09

Things I’m enjoying today:

• The stylized corners of Gil’s flashback. His memory works in old-timey photograph mode!
• Competing exploding eyeballs!
• Imagining a new Kaz detective story rather than this stupid crap that is dragging out day after mindless day.
• Flashback within a flashback! Though I wish they’d have stylized the corners within the corners of panel three.

Tomorrow: 2003 Senior Year Marty, within Gil’s recounting of his chat with 2009 Marty, recounts the conversation he had with Gil in 2001, in which they recapped the events of the 1999 season. Unfortunately due to an excess of rounded corners, the entire story will be the size of a postage stamp.