This Week in Milford

April 29, 2014

Kasey Goes Off With Her Bat

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, freak hands — timbuys @ 7:11 am

April 29, 2014


I have to preface this post by pointing out yet again that I really don’t know too much about high school baseball or softball. That said, is there some reason that Amy is apparently the only sub on the team? Apparently, Mimi is not even too sure if Amy can play third in the first place. This is somewhat similar to that initial conversation where Kaz and Gil discussed their lineup and appeared to grudgingly accept that the sole option they had at third was Luckey.

Let’s shift back to panels one and two. I think my eyeball would explode too if I was repeatedly called out on strikes by an umpire with such an insouciant expression and hirsute forearms. Threatening him with her bat, while no doubt satisfying, is probably a bad move on Kasey’s part as we’ve seen that, whereas psychos like Wynn can get away with practically anything, the ladies (at least Shelby Hunter anyway) get pretty prompt and harsh suspensions when they get out of line.

Bonus point: Any guesses what brand of bat that Kasey is using to menace the ump? The logo appears to be a mutant hammerhead shark or possibly a mangled J…

April 24, 2014

But, Without The E-Y, Wouldn’t It Spell…

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Pantheon of Mysterious Objects — timbuys @ 8:48 am

April 24, 2014


This so sweet that I think we’ll give Luckey a break on the whole spelling thing. I will note that Lucky is apparently a little more on the ball than Jack Metzger when it comes to wooing the ladies in Milford: Viz., when you see your sweetie carrying a stack of books, you just go right on letting her carry them. Conrad must have picked that one up from Don Stebbins.

Not much else for me to say about today’s strip other than to note the foreboding of Amy’s exploding eyeball in panel three. Is that signaling her surprise? dismay? delight? Who can say when it comes to matters of the heart?

Bonus points: 20 TWIM credits to whoever does the best job explaining what that mysterious object in panel one (two rows of hash marks above two sets of parallel horizontal lines?) is.

Is it just me or does it look like Mr. Haskins has put on about forty pounds in panel one?

April 2, 2014

Proud Flesh

April 2, 2014


It was just a couple of days ago when Rob commented “Whats he gonna do at bat on an inside pitch? You cant live on HBPs like Ron Hunt.” Well, it looks like Lucky’s gonna give it the old Milford try.

Where the hell is he standing, anyway? In fair territory, up the first base line?  Of course he’s gonna get drilled!

Nice double entendre from Lucky in P3, as his hip is not only self-congratulatory but also already developing new connective tissue and blood vessels as it heals.


March 26, 2014

Root Beer Reinforcement

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Gil Thorp — timbuys @ 8:07 am

As of this writing, the unofficial results of our root beer poll show the venerable A&W brand winning by a comfortable margin. Barq’s (really?!) pulled into a surprising second place finish with strong turnout from its partisans overnight. I’d like to say this is a triumph for a New Orleans based scrappy upstart that doesn’t try to win popularity with trivial things like tasting good, but let’s face it, Barq’s is fully owned by the Coca-Cola company and, despite being fairly popular amongst the New Orleanians I used to know when I lived there, is just awful. My own favorite, Saint Arnold Root Beer, did fairly well in the comments section which just goes to show the great taste of most TWIM readers. Commenter Downpuppy stated that drinking ‘sweatsock squeezings’ is preferable to drinking root beer, so I guess we’ll have to count that as another vote for Barq’s. With that exciting update, let’s turn to today’s strip:

March 26, 2014


Huh… well, as exactly everyone guessed, Lucky did get doused in root beer, rather viscous root beer at that… must be the Milford local brand. It appears as though the egg rolls are headed his way too. With his luck, he’ll probably end up choking on them. Be sure to tune in tomorrow as we eagerly await the next terrible thing to happen to our good friend Lucky!

March 17, 2014

It’s Adventure Time! Come on, grab your… cereal?

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, exposition comics, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 6:30 am

March 17, 2014


So the spring story arc begins with yet another shout out to Adventure Time, with an additional pop culture shout out in the form of the Haskins girl’s cereal.

Haskins boy responds by head-butting the open cabinet door.  Any guesses as to where this will lead? Allegations of domestic abuse? Concussions aggravated by line drives to the head? Milford dropping its baseball and softball programs in favor of Calvinball?

March 6, 2014

She’s… She’s… She’s Doing The Chicken Dance, Isn’t She?

Filed under: Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, freak hands, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 8:18 am


Let’s see… Panel one, Keegan defensively demonstrates that he’s dumber than a bag of hair. I get that the kid is a kid – even I have to see that – but I think if you’re old enough to drive you probably have the emotional facility necessary to figure out what you’ve done wrong here. Speaking of hair, would someone please buy Keegan a comb?

Panel two: Yep, that’s the chicken dance with an exploding eyeball thrown in for good measure. In the last two days, Wendy has gone through more eyeballs than I think we’ve previously seen. Someone send a note to Billy that we need to track this in the spreadsheet. I’d hate to let a record breaking performance like this be forgotten.

Panel three: Wendy wants you! …to know that her brother is hostile. Hostile? I’m not sure that’s the word I’d use. Maybe we ought to let her rephrase that. In any case, she should know by now that if she needs backup, the person to call is Shelby Hunter and it isn’t even close. Regardless, dumb as he is, Keegan better get with it. Wendy’s menacing left index finger resembles a one inch drill bit and Keegan is lucky his Adam’s apple is still intact after yesterday.

March 5, 2014

Do Not Mess With Hungry Ninjas

March 5, 2014


It appears we’re about to get our big payoff as a season’s worth of taunting induced rage is being brought into focus on the person of the hilariously stupid Keegan Hershey.

Oh, you didn’t know Wendy is a ninja? Check out panel three where she’s about to administer a death strike by crushing Keegan’s larynx with just her index finger. The lesson? Don’t mess with a hungry ninja.

I’m gonna have to declare a push on my bet that yesterday’s panel three would be repeated as today’s panel one nearly verbatim. It was close – hence my use of the weasel word ‘nearly’ – but Wendy’s vocalization of her surprise kinda sorta did actually move things forward a bit.

February 17, 2014

The Beatings Will Continue!

Filed under: actual action, basketball, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 10:26 am

February 17, 2014


So, this hair trigger temper runs in the family, huh? Seems to me as though Wendy had been keeping her cool, while simultaneously being on fire, but once we get the first indication of what type of dancing Wendy actually does, socko! A Wiley-family patented swingin’ elbow noggin floggin’. I have a vision of Ma and Pa Wiley demonstrating the intricacies of swinging elbows as part of the kids’ home schooling.

And, just in case you missed it, check out the knee to the crotch that Wendy is throwing in there for good measure. That’s some mighty fine brutality. Herk Herkelshimer himself would be proud. I don’t see how the Oakwood player is getting out of this with less than a mild concussion and a fractured wrist to say nothing of some bruising ‘down there’.

Are we finally going to see a flagrant foul, or possibly even an ejection? I already used the Malice in the Palace footage earlier in commentary on this plotline. Now I think I shoulda kept my powder dry and pulled it out here. Oh well, such are the risks one accepts when choosing to blog about Gil Thorp.

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