This Week in Milford

October 21, 2014

Mama’s Boy?

October 21, 2014

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Lot of confusing stuff today, but in the interests of (my) time, let’s just focus in on the panel three horror show.

Freak hand? – Check.
Bizarre facial hair? – Check.
Exploding eyeball? – that’s a big Check!
Unbuttoned shirt over black t-shirt? – Check.
Weird details? (The same artist who couldn’t put a G on Gil’s mug manages to cram in ‘izz’ on the pizza box? – Check.
Utter non sequitur induced confusion? – Checkmate! I have no clue what the hell is going on here.

October 8, 2014

Couldn’t Quite Get There

October 8, 2014

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One of these days, I’ll make it up to all of you for the quick posts… but not today.

Panel one: Knoxious Folly can’t get the job done… maybe he should look into other fields of opportunity, like law, where his talents may be better employed.

Panel two: another middle panel close up. These aren’t any better when they’re close ups of Marty. I mean, I guess they’re better than angtsy teenage boy close ups but that ain’t saying much.

Panel three: Hey, did we skip over the week where True grew into a towering colossus? We didn’t? What the heck? Maybe Gil shrunk? What’s going on here? How many sentences can I complete with a question mark in a row? Don’t get me started on True’s left hand…

October 7, 2014

Coming Up Short

Filed under: football, freak hands, What the hell is going on here? — timbuys @ 4:56 am

October 7, 2014

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Some questionable artistic choices today – What? Don’t we all agree that the most dramatic images of any game are showing the ref after the measurement and then cutting to the announcer? – leading to a very unlikely plot twist.

First, how could True possibly justify ignoring the advice of John Paulsen, one of our foremost fantasy football analysts? That’s just not done! Second, where does the substitute QB who just joined the team a few weeks ago and is just now getting a chance to play get the notion that he can call audibles in crucial game situations? On fourth and inches no less! Sorry folks, the implausibility meter just spiked and I’ll have to leave y’all to discuss the rest.

October 4, 2014

Coming Wight Back to Wynn Wiley

Filed under: actual action, football, freak hands, Highlight reel — teenchy @ 7:37 am

October 4, 2014

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Remember back in August when I suggested True wanted Keegan Hershey as a teammate to make him look good to Wendy Wiley? Well that never came to pass, so True has decided to take a more direct route by sucking up to making her brother Wynn look good. Wynn’s more used to catching bigger (and rounder) balls, so he’s taken by surprise when True throws him one of the souvenir mini footballs the cheerleaders tossed out to the crowd at halftime. On the next possession True switches back to a regulation size ball and Wynn easily makes the catch.

Today’s strip is more notable by who’s missing: Art Standish, who’d be chagrined that True had to throw to a multi-sport athlete who clearly lacks his son’s dedication to his craft*, and Jarrod, who’d be pitching a hissy to get back in the game since True didn’t lead the team to a score on his first drive. I suspect Jarrod’s plotting to tell True to get Wynn to set him up with Wendy. Wynn will go ballistic on True, injuring him and giving Jarrod back his starting job.

 

*Where the heck is Art, anyway? Did Gil banish him to the cornfield?

September 20, 2014

Zing Went the (Ham)strings

Filed under: actual action, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Secret Thoughts — teenchy @ 8:01 am

September 20, 2014

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TWIM readers will remember the date September 20, 2014, the day when finally, after being introduced to him on July 2, we see True Standish in actual action on a football field. Then again, maybe it’s still September 19 in Milford, given that Gil is talking like a pirate to True.

Swashbuckling True sets forth to choose his own adventure. Will he:

a) thread the needle with a perfectly placed pass to Don “I deserve the game ball this week” Stebbins, who runs for a touchdown, earning Gil accusations of running up the score Steve Spurrier style and incurring the scorn of everyone associated with Milford football?

b) thread the needle with a pass so hot it breaks several of Don’s fingers, incurring the scorn of everyone associated with Milford football?

c) throw a pick-six to Oakwood’s #41 cutting in front of Stebbins, losing the shutout and incurring the scorn of everyone associated with Milford football?

d) re-injure his ankle as he sets to pass, incurring the scorn of everyone associated with Milford football?

My money’s on c). None will be so scornful as Jarrod “I was pitching a shutout” Hale.

Sartorial note of the day: Stebbins appears not to be wearing football pants but bicycle pants without pads. I know this was a thing for a while but the NFL changed its rules to require thigh and knee pads for all players except punters and placekickers. Wonder if this has yet to trickle down to the Valley Conference.

September 16, 2014

Taking It And You With Us To Oakwood!

Filed under: football, freak hands, hideous scar faces, Milford Weirdos — timbuys @ 4:21 am

September 16, 2014

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Probably some EPA regulation? That’s not how that works I’m pretty sure. Does young Billy Dee Williams there think that every team has a bonfire? I’m from the mid-west and I honestly can’t remember that being a thing anywhere around there. Living as I do now in Texas, I’m certainly aware of Texas A&M and their bonfire, but I have no idea if any of the state high schools do something similar.

I guess I should just be honored that I get to snark on a bonfire strip. You definitely don’t see something like this in Mary Worth. At least not yet you don’t.

Moving along, we get two panels displaying that ostensible leader of boys, Jarrod Hale. Let’s leave aside the inchoate rallying cry in panel two and consider the mania infesting this guy. Actually, let’s not: dude is an angle faced creep. We usually call that a hideous scar face around here, but I don’t even know what to make of the shading there.

Finally, Jarrod rallies the team in a more traditional manner, by calling out a recent arrival who wants to help them win? Yeah, sure. I think there must be something in the water that causes some of the testosterone addled adolescents in Milford to develop Obsessive-Vindictive disorder… Wynn Wiley being another obvious case.

September 13, 2014

Balls-eye View

Filed under: football, freak hands, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 6:52 am

September 13, 2014

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Another day, another egotist being a jerk in Milford. What else is new? Maybe I should try to look at the strip from another perspective, like that of that Navy blimp coming in to dock at NAS Lakehurst. Nah, I’m still having trouble with space and time in the Thorpiverse.

SPACE: Jarrod is 5’11”, yet stands nearly eye-to-eye with True, who stands nearly eye-to-eye with Gil. Is True only about 6’0″ to 6’1″ and Gil maybe 6’2″ tops? If there’s that little difference in height between the QBs then maybe Rubin shouldn’t have made such a big deal of it. I’m also still having trouble with the Mudlarks practicing in shorts; they’ve been doing it since August 25. Shouldn’t these guys be in full pads by now?

TIME: Jarrod only interviewed with Marjie yesterday. How far forward have we leapt today?  True probably grabbed the Milford paper off Art’s stack of papers at the Central City Hilt (they still live there, right?) and got it confused with another, like the Valley Times or some such. Of course, when this is all the press you’ve gotten compared to your competition’s scads of YouTube clips, you guard it as fiercely as you can.

I don’t know who’s going to win the quarterback competition but so far, Jarrod’s the hands-down winner of the Douchebag Trophy. True’s “I just want to win” comes off a bit insincere given his ambitions but Hale’s hubris is setting himself up for a huge fall… like maybe off a curb.

September 11, 2014

Boy (Go)

Filed under: exposition comics, football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, hideous scar faces — teenchy @ 4:39 am

September 11, 2014

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Go over playbook?

Go over Spanish.

Go over True’s head (literally)!

Are high school-level courses called 101 now?

Has Gil installed a two-way mirror behind True’s facemask?

What’s up with that facemask, anyway? It starts out on the outside of the helmet but goes inside it at the right temple. (Jarrod may have already punched it in.) Also, how many points on True’s chinstrap? It looks like a two-pointer but there’s an upper point and strap attached to that facemask that goes nowhere. Maybe this helmet isn’t a Riddell or Schutt but an Escher.

Be sure to visit TWIM tomorrow when maybe, just maybe, we stop getting exposition of True’s football prowess and actually see him in action!

 

 

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