This Week in Milford

September 20, 2014

Zing Went the (Ham)strings

Filed under: actual action, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Secret Thoughts — teenchy @ 8:01 am

September 20, 2014


TWIM readers will remember the date September 20, 2014, the day when finally, after being introduced to him on July 2, we see True Standish in actual action on a football field. Then again, maybe it’s still September 19 in Milford, given that Gil is talking like a pirate to True.

Swashbuckling True sets forth to choose his own adventure. Will he:

a) thread the needle with a perfectly placed pass to Don “I deserve the game ball this week” Stebbins, who runs for a touchdown, earning Gil accusations of running up the score Steve Spurrier style and incurring the scorn of everyone associated with Milford football?

b) thread the needle with a pass so hot it breaks several of Don’s fingers, incurring the scorn of everyone associated with Milford football?

c) throw a pick-six to Oakwood’s #41 cutting in front of Stebbins, losing the shutout and incurring the scorn of everyone associated with Milford football?

d) re-injure his ankle as he sets to pass, incurring the scorn of everyone associated with Milford football?

My money’s on c). None will be so scornful as Jarrod “I was pitching a shutout” Hale.

Sartorial note of the day: Stebbins appears not to be wearing football pants but bicycle pants without pads. I know this was a thing for a while but the NFL changed its rules to require thigh and knee pads for all players except punters and placekickers. Wonder if this has yet to trickle down to the Valley Conference.

September 16, 2014

Taking It And You With Us To Oakwood!

Filed under: football, freak hands, hideous scar faces, Milford Weirdos — timbuys @ 4:21 am

September 16, 2014


Probably some EPA regulation? That’s not how that works I’m pretty sure. Does young Billy Dee Williams there think that every team has a bonfire? I’m from the mid-west and I honestly can’t remember that being a thing anywhere around there. Living as I do now in Texas, I’m certainly aware of Texas A&M and their bonfire, but I have no idea if any of the state high schools do something similar.

I guess I should just be honored that I get to snark on a bonfire strip. You definitely don’t see something like this in Mary Worth. At least not yet you don’t.

Moving along, we get two panels displaying that ostensible leader of boys, Jarrod Hale. Let’s leave aside the inchoate rallying cry in panel two and consider the mania infesting this guy. Actually, let’s not: dude is an angle faced creep. We usually call that a hideous scar face around here, but I don’t even know what to make of the shading there.

Finally, Jarrod rallies the team in a more traditional manner, by calling out a recent arrival who wants to help them win? Yeah, sure. I think there must be something in the water that causes some of the testosterone addled adolescents in Milford to develop Obsessive-Vindictive disorder… Wynn Wiley being another obvious case.

September 13, 2014

Balls-eye View

Filed under: football, freak hands, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 6:52 am

September 13, 2014


Another day, another egotist being a jerk in Milford. What else is new? Maybe I should try to look at the strip from another perspective, like that of that Navy blimp coming in to dock at NAS Lakehurst. Nah, I’m still having trouble with space and time in the Thorpiverse.

SPACE: Jarrod is 5’11”, yet stands nearly eye-to-eye with True, who stands nearly eye-to-eye with Gil. Is True only about 6’0″ to 6’1″ and Gil maybe 6’2″ tops? If there’s that little difference in height between the QBs then maybe Rubin shouldn’t have made such a big deal of it. I’m also still having trouble with the Mudlarks practicing in shorts; they’ve been doing it since August 25. Shouldn’t these guys be in full pads by now?

TIME: Jarrod only interviewed with Marjie yesterday. How far forward have we leapt today?  True probably grabbed the Milford paper off Art’s stack of papers at the Central City Hilt (they still live there, right?) and got it confused with another, like the Valley Times or some such. Of course, when this is all the press you’ve gotten compared to your competition’s scads of YouTube clips, you guard it as fiercely as you can.

I don’t know who’s going to win the quarterback competition but so far, Jarrod’s the hands-down winner of the Douchebag Trophy. True’s “I just want to win” comes off a bit insincere given his ambitions but Hale’s hubris is setting himself up for a huge fall… like maybe off a curb.

September 11, 2014

Boy (Go)

Filed under: exposition comics, football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, hideous scar faces — teenchy @ 4:39 am

September 11, 2014


Go over playbook?

Go over Spanish.

Go over True’s head (literally)!

Are high school-level courses called 101 now?

Has Gil installed a two-way mirror behind True’s facemask?

What’s up with that facemask, anyway? It starts out on the outside of the helmet but goes inside it at the right temple. (Jarrod may have already punched it in.) Also, how many points on True’s chinstrap? It looks like a two-pointer but there’s an upper point and strap attached to that facemask that goes nowhere. Maybe this helmet isn’t a Riddell or Schutt but an Escher.

Be sure to visit TWIM tomorrow when maybe, just maybe, we stop getting exposition of True’s football prowess and actually see him in action!



September 10, 2014

Got A Minute?

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad — timbuys @ 4:51 am

I don’t. Well, maybe two or three so quick post today….

September 10, 2014


So papa Standish doesn’t have time to come to practices – and the question was raised yesterday in the comments of why exactly he would be going to practice – except when he does because obviously that big important job that forced him to move to Milford isn’t taking up too much of his time.

In panel two, we get a further sense that Art may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, the brightest bulb in the chandelier, the whatever-est whatever in the whatever-holder as he somehow still thinks that Gil could ever give two flips about what he has to say.

Finally, Kaz and Gil yuk it up in not especially funny fashion. Wouldn’t a doctor or at least a physical therapist have a better sense of when True is ready? Art kinda has a point, but no Gil is perfectly willing to screw True and his team over to make it clear who’s boss.

Bonus point: What is going on with the, uh, details on Kaz’s hand?

September 8, 2014


Filed under: exposition comics, freak hands — nedryerson @ 3:45 am


These prairie windows are running amok here at Milford High! Also, kids, don’t forget to READ, preferably papery things but blogs count as reading too.

Hey, look, it’s Tip Nunn and Silent John Pascoe, who have been working out all summer with Saad Shamoun, teaching him so much and adding twenty pounds of muscle to him. Hey, remember when Tip Nunn had a Bobby Bittman haircut? What happened? What hair is the Tipster sporting now, a modified Alan Thicke? On the topic of hair, True Standish looks to be taking styling cues from the late, great fake quarterback, George Plimpton, via Alan Alda.

Also featured today: some meaty fingers, a surplus of hamburgers, Nunnish jibba jabba and some girl in the background of panel one glancing at us over her own Milford High burger. Do you know why burgers are so popular in Milford? Allow Jules Winnfield to enlighten you:

September 3, 2014

Yes. This Is the Good Stuff.

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp — timbuys @ 9:14 am

September 3, 2014


Ladies and Gentleman, let me confess that it would be quite churlish for me to criticize today’s strip as it is clearly the setup to what will be an undoubtedly epic and awesome knockdown of Art in the days to come.

In fact, it occurs to me that this is too much, too soon. Alas, I’ll have to indulge my inner churl* and engage in some snarkiness after all. First off, I love everything about Gil’s posture and desk in panel one. The man is taking ‘don’t give a frig’ to a whole new level. That he manages to get both his name plate and his ‘Gil’ coffee mug mostly in frame just makes it even better. Indeed, who is this Art Standish who is so foolish to think that he can come in and make demands of someone so evidently exalted as Gil? Remember, Gil’s not just the head coach of every featured team sport at Milford, he’s his own boss. If he wants to hire his wife as the girls’ coach, ain’t no one gonna stop him. If he ever caught any flack for letting some deranged man come in and coach the baseball team, it’d be the first I ever heard of it. He taught a one armed man to golf and wrestled an early onset dementia patient for charity. I’m not saying Gil is the most interesting man in the world or anything, but if you want to come in and make a lot of noise about your gimpy son’s brand, you better not go sticking your finger in his face because he might just snap it clean off**.

*Actually a word! Look it up!
** My actual prediction is that Gil will just say something really condescending and this dynamic won’t resolve itself until Milford misses the playdowns by only five games.***

*** As pointed out in the comments by downpuppy, Art may be better prepared than most to have one of his fingers snapped off as he apparently has six!

September 2, 2014

Maybe The Standishes Cut Their Own Hair

September 2, 2014


I hope everyone enjoyed their Labor Day holiday. If you’re like me, today is a day to slowly ease back into the work routine as we slog through the long holiday-less slog until Thanksgiving (unless you’re one of those lucky bastards who gets Columbus day off).

Speaking of slogging, quite a bit of exposition going on today and almost all of it is painfully obvious in panels one and two. There is quite a bit of attention given to the details of the Standish ‘dos’ though. Ya figure folks in the office give Art a hard time about his wildly mismatched sideburn lengths? If they do, it’s probably not to his face. I mean, look at the degree of menace in his gaze as he tries to stare down Gil in panel three.

Unfortunately for Art and the few things he and Gil have to discuss, generally speaking, once the person you’re negotiating with has what he wants from you (i.e., the services of True) and especially if he didn’t even really want that very much, you have none of what we in the Root Beer Sales and Distribution industry call ‘Beverage Leverage’. OK, no one calls it that: they just say leverage, but the point still stands. Nevertheless, this does set up an entertaining beat as we will have to wait until tomorrow to find out just what kind of power play Art is going to (hopefully hilariously) make. Gil has a long history of bringing his A game whenever anyone tries to make him take his job seriously, so hopefully the action is about to pick up!

Bonus points: Occluded background details galore in panel two. There are those windows of course, but for today I’d like to call out the fine squiggle art that Gil has hanging about a foot below his ceiling, the perfect height for hanging serious office artwork.

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