This Week in Milford

July 22, 2014

Bonus Pizza

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, freak hands, Milford Weirdos — timbuys @ 5:00 am

July 22, 2014

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Extra practice? It’s a good thing that 7-on-7 football is completely beyond the purview of the NCAA or the coaches would be in for all kinds of trouble with these extra practices. Of course, it’s been a while since we’ve seen Sponsor-Hustler Kaz or the middle school guys (not gonna bother looking up their names) so it’s not like the coaches are really in control of anything here.

No, that would be Jarrod. Sure, his Gil-style flattop may be prematurely graying, but he sure is organizing the heck out of this team. And, while his mediocre results are also reminiscent of Gil, I think we have to give him credit for throwing a pizza party after the inevitable beatdown, even if his choice of marshmallow and blackeyed pea pizza is an unconventional topping combination.

As for panel 3? ZZZZzzzzzzz…. Interesting font choice for the JHS sign though.

July 12, 2014

The Peaberry Shuffle

Filed under: exposition comics, Fat Guys, freak hands, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 2:40 pm

July 12, 2014

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I gotta say I love today’s strip. I love how Standish’s double chin comes and goes like the tide. He must have Susan Boyle’s makeup artist.

I love the Peaberry and Kenya selections for Today’s Brew, though I have no idea what Spice T is. I’m guessing it’s what Gil’s having, named in honor of that guy from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

Above all, I love all the posturing going on here. Art Standish, demanding an audience with Gil, figures the Coffee Cantina a sufficiently neutral site that will put Gil at ease. Standish orders a cuppa joe for young True and himself to establish his regular joeness before launching into his bombastic sales pitch. Gil, having nothing of it, stops Standish cold with a blunt “I don’t think so.” Art counters with a direct attack on Gil’s football knowledge, but is Gil fazed? Hell no! He throws major shade at Art by not only ordering an iced beverage that, whatever it is, is clearly not a cup of coffee, but also by blatantly not making eye contact with him as he takes the over-the-shoulder delivery from Not Amy Lange.

Finally, Gil cements Art’s outsider status by defining the boundaries of his football worldview and, in the process, revealing himself to be a true provincial. The strip as a whole displays such subtlety and ritual that it’s like the high school football equivalent of Japanese theatre.

Aw, who am I kidding? Here’s the CN version:

“You’ve heard of True, I assume.”

“Yeah, it’s what your next cigarette should be.

“If you weren’t such a tank town hick, you’d know who True is.”

“DILLIGAF? Mmmboy, that’s good booze.”

great_drunk_22

July 7, 2014

Now Explain It To Us

Filed under: freak hands, What the hell is going on here? — nedryerson @ 6:13 am

7/7/14
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So those guys from the breakfast buffet and a Central City hotel, the Meanwhile Guys, are finally getting their own three panel strip. Who they are and what their purpose is will be revealed eventually, but for now their scouting rapport represents the early gear grinding of what is shaping up to be a tepid summer plot.

We could view this incursion of football into the summer plot world as an example of the year round media fascination with all things football. It never ends with spring football events, college recruiting forecasts, scouting combines, endless draft analysis, national rankings of high school sophomores, whatever our summer mystery guests are up to (monetizing their fantasy 7-on-7 high school football podcast?), etc.

Or we could just have a little fun with these guys who Neal and Rodd are allowing us to color with our own crayons for the time being.

“So Shaggy, see anything you like out there?”
“Ya know, Mister Shades, if you ask me that question while you make that face, it comes across a little weird in the context of us two adults sitting in these bleachers, sweating profusely and watching fifteen and sixteen year old boys running around.”
“Spare me the deep analysis, Shaggy, my boy. I’m just drawn this way. Do you see any prospects?…is that okay, prospects?”
“Well…..okay, we’ve got to move this along. I think they need to cut away to Gil Thorp breaking up some lob wedge golf cart jousting over at MCC. There were a few gamers out there. No more than I can count on one hand. Whoa, what happened to my hand?”

July 3, 2014

Safe, Sane and Consensual

Filed under: football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 6:10 am

July 3, 2014

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So the man with the football and whistle is Tim and/or Jay Forbes from the middle school.  (Has he been in this strip before? TWIM historians, I look to you.) He’s not wasting time in laying out the ground rules for this scene practice. All that’s missing is the safe word; I’m guessing “routes.” Some couples are starting to pair off – the lobster-clawed guy in the middle of P2 is already melting into his partner to his left.

In familiar Milford fashion, one of the teens establishes himself as hyper-serious and faux mature. Jarrod Hale, having read or heard somewhere that quarterbacks are supposed to be leaders,  thrusts himself into this role.  What says the one-hand touches on Jarrod include some above-the-neck face slaps and nasty wedgies?

None of this foreplay will last for long however. Jarrod has only four seconds to unload, which is about par for the course for a teenaged boy. (See what I did there? Foreplay? Par for the course? Laying up for the transition to the golf portion of this arc on Monday.)

June 28, 2014

I Can Do It!

June 28, 2014

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So is this how the story ends – not with a bang or a whimper, but with a BONK! and more tell-don’t-show exposition?

Amy (flashing the obligatory Milford girl’s bracelets) explains how she got to play Glenn Close to Lucky’s Robert Redford. But why the short practice? Why any practice at all? If the Lady Mudlarks’ season is continuing as the Mudlark boys’ comes to a close, that would’ve made for a more compelling story line than the nonsense we’ve gotten this past week.

But no! The story of a benchwarmer turned supersub who plays her way into the starting lineup and leads her team to – what? the playdowns? – is all just window dressing here. No, the real story is Lucky who, after a crisis of confidence and a tell-don’t-show lecture from Gil, still believes everything that happens to him is the result of luck (and still uses the word “luck” or “lucky” in every other sentence out of his mouth).

Casual readers of a certain mindset might’ve viewed this entire arc as being somewhat sexist that way. The Mudlark faithful know that Gil Thorp plays no such favorites. In Milford girls can be the protagonists as often as boys, and boys (like Lini Verde lo these many years ago) can feel free to show their feminine side – just like Lucky summons his inner Rosie the Riveter to break the fourth wall in P2.

The lame punchline in P3 speaks for itself. Thank goodness there’ll be no more of those. I leave it to you to decide what makes up Conrad’s 190 pounds but two things immediately spring to mind.

June 17, 2014

Dumb And Dumber

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad, lessons learned, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 4:03 am

June 17, 2014

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So, even though I’ve never actually sat down and watched the movie from which I’m borrowing the title of this post, I feel as though I’ve pretty much seen it through low grade exposure to various clips, references and impressions over the years. I’m not sure why I’m pointing that out, but it might just be because today’s strip is so painfully stupid. Put it this way, when Gil is getting all of the ‘smart’ lines, you know something is seriously off the rails.

Panel one: “I’ve never had to make my own luck. I’m Lucky Haskins!” I offer ten TWIM credits to anyone who can credibly argue that Gil shouldn’t just push Lucky off the bleachers and walk away at this point. Instead, Gil, somewhat wisely I suppose, decides to try another tack.

His gambit in panel two though is stymied as Luckey really brings the stupid. Don’t forget about the gruesome eye injuries that started this whole thing off champ! Those not only got you into the meet-cute thing with Amy but you got a free dinner out of the whole deal!

Which brings us to panel three where Gil has clearly lost the thread (the vicodin chased by three shots of bourbon must be kicking in). As near as I can tell, the moral according to Gil is that Lucky is an idiot with no skill while Lucky is unable to finish off Gil’s thought for him. (Hint – the opposite of ‘small’ is not ‘good’ – remember that, Conrad, ’cause it might come in handy on the SAT’s.)

Bonus point: It really kinda sorta looks like Gil is depicted as turned away from us while Lucky is turned towards us in panel two. That would be hard to on most bleachers I’ve ever seen.

June 10, 2014

Mia Swoops In

Filed under: freak hands, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 5:21 am

June 10, 2014

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I may have made one or two jokes about Mia’s strong interest in watching Wendy Wiley’s wardrobe whackiness. However, now that Mia is making her move, I think we can see that Mia is no longer content to simply move the plot along by explaining things for us and instead is now deciding it is Mia time! Good for her, says I even if her line in panel three is just a teensy tiny bit disingenuious.

Oh, and personal note to Conrad, I’m not sure if I would describe it as ‘lucky’ but judging by those meathooks Amy is flashing in panel two, you seem to have gotten off pretty easy for that terribly timed breakup.

June 6, 2014

Nuts to You!

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 5:33 am

June 6, 2014

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Well here it comes!

Lucky was right on one count: he does sound selfish and stupid. Bad enough that he implied Amy’s luck was coming at his expense, but to expand that to the baseball Mudlarks as a whole? Dude’s just digging his hole deeper.  Amy’s ever-growing freak hands will help him with that.

I halfway wanted to hold off posting today so we could post today’s and tomorrow’s strips as one, because I really want to see where Amy’s going with the “I don’t want my luck!” idea. Yeah, yeah, we all know that her improved play is a result of getting more playing time, as if coaching ever does anything in Milford. But aren’t the factors that led to her increased playing time – injury, illness, ejection, academic suspension – just a bit too coincidental? More fun to think Amy’s been behind it all! A broken cleat here, an incorrect cheat sheet there, it all adds up…

If tomorrow’s strip offers some variation on “I don’t want my luck… ’cause I’ve got skills – skills I knew I had all along!” I’m gonna be a bit disappointed.

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