This Week in Milford

August 13, 2014

Howl At The Moon, Argue With The Sunshine

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 5:00 am

August 13, 2014

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Oh, hey! True is in fact talking about Miami of Ohio. Fascinating. I’m sure every kid who has played Coast football dreams of moving to the dreary mid-west just for the chance to go to a college that looks as though it’s ‘from an old movie’ because if there’s one thing that’s for sure, there are very few colleges out there that have architecture suggestive of times gone by. 

I’m sure if I thought about this more and put some effort into it, I’d have some neat links to share, but much like the artwork in panels two – how old timey!- and three – is that Mimi? Why is Gil’s head cranked up and away like that? – I’m going to have to just phone this one in. 

Update: I guess there’s a new interface for WordPress. Like any right thinking American, I hate and fear change. So, I have to say that without the time to figure out how it works and without regard for the fact that it’s got something of a WYSIWYG aspect to it, I’m going to have to go with: it sucks for now. 

August 12, 2014

The Tree Must Mean Something, But What?

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 4:43 am

August 12, 2014

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Let’s start last panel first: Miami you say? Sure, why not. Seems like a reasonable place for a three star recruit to get a chance to start at a school well known for producing head coaches. Oh wait, does True mean Miami as in the one down in Florida? Sure, that makes as much sense as anything. What recruit wouldn’t be chomping at the bit to play there?

OK, now that that’s out of the way, can someone tell me what’s the deal with the tree in panel one?

August 5, 2014

While True Standish Quietly Weeps

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, exposition comics, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 4:47 am

August 5, 2014

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Actually, I was thinking about setting today’s post to Smoke on the Water but a lack of time and talent on my part precludes me from doing so. Instead, we’ll do what I normally do when I got nothing to say and less time to say it in and go panel by panel.

Panel one: True poses for his cover shot in Sulky, Pouty teen magazine while wearing his sunglasses on top of his head in a tribute to the father who has left him to, you know, work at his job during the week.

Panel two: I tried to find the ‘in the absence of weights, I’m employing isometrics’ strip but that didn’t happen. Nevertheless, it is interesting to get to know that Jarrod is not only an
insufferable prick, but that he is likely delusional regarding his place in the world of high school athletics. I don’t know Jarrod, should True have heard about you?

Panel three: Not gonna lie, at first I skipped past the narration box, saw the flat-topped coach slumped in his chair drunk dialing Art Standish and wondered what it was that actually inspired Gil to do some follow up work. Then, I noticed the subtle things like the VaTech logos, the narration box plainly stating that we were ‘at Valley Tech’ and I realized that the only reason Gil is even able to pull off tying of second in the valley on a semi-regular basis is that the other coaches are just as loaded as he is. I can only wonder what those ‘wrinkles’ are and whether Art is peeved that he is taking a call from a drunken lout while he is no doubt prepping for some very important meeting. And, speaking of that, time for me to go prep for a not quite so important meeting.

August 2, 2014

He’s either with us, or against us

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 7:00 am

August 2, 2014

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Three stars doesn’t seem like a big deal when the star system goes up to 11 5 but it places you among the top 750 prospects and the top 10% of players in the country. A three-star high school player is deemed among the best players in his region. In True’s case, that would be the Coast, of course. (BTW prepscoop.com is not yet a real thing but 901prepscoop.com is, though it’s a Memphis-area basketball recruiting site, as is prepscoopmedia.com.)

And while 3-star guys have a fraction of the likelihood of being drafted by an NFL team as 4- and 5-star guys it’s not out of the question and many factors can dramatically raise a 2- or 3-star guy’s value after he’s in college. The immediately linked article summarizes them as a major growth spurt in college, playing high school ball in an under-scouted area (or having little or no game film to promote himself), or a lack of experience.

Anyway Mongo there seems pretty impressed. Shuford, who couldn’t remember True’s last name yesterday, can remember that he wasn’t committed to Milford.

Meanwhile over at the Center City Hilt, the seeds of The Truman Show coming to Milford may be getting planted. True supposedly has experience given his game film on prepscoop.com and growth spurts can’t really be predicted (or can they?), but how can he expect to get showcased in a program where the players know more about national high school football prospects than their blissfully ignorant coach?

July 31, 2014

Scenes from Janet’s Diner

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, exposition comics, football, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 5:23 am

July 31, 2014

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I am sitting
Here in Milford
At the diner
Named for Janet
I am drinking
A Coke bought me
By a kid
Named Truman Standish

We were talking
About college
And before
I mention EMU
I am looking
O’er my shoulder
At somebody
Coming in

It is only
Austin Shuford
He’s a run-
ning back for Milford
He is looking
For a cold drink
They don’t have them
At his practice

And I look
The other way
As they are shaking
Their hellos
And I’m pretending
Not to notice
His moustache
Like Groucho Marx

I open
Up the whiskey
And I slip it
In my soda
I might die
While I am drinking
Might be better
Than this blather

And I’m tuning
Out the niceties
And thinking
About Mimi
Will she feed me
More potato salad?
I hope
Not for God’s sake

There stands Shuford
With his cold drink
Leaning too close
To True Standish
No he does not
Really know True
‘Cause he does
Not watch Coast football

And I’m trying
Not to notice
That his cup’s not
From this diner
What if I
Asked him where it came from?
“It came
From Marty Moon”

“Oh, I grew
Up on the freeways”
“Have you heard of
Luckey Haskins?
“I am mov-
ing to the Valley”
I am thinking
Of Mimi…

And of the ‘tater salad
And the swimming pool
Before the two-a-days

And I finish up my soda
And it’s time to hang with Kaz

July 26, 2014

Hello lamppost, what’cha knowing?

July 26, 2014

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Well the high-speed collision between True and Gil I was so hoping for yesterday did not materialize. It would’ve been a good one, too, as we pan out to see a 7-foot-tall Gil emerge from a stonking big SUV of some kind (which looks like an amalgam of a Mitsubishi Montero and Nissan Armada with the front clip from an FJ62 Toyota Land Cruiser).

We’re left to guess what it was about Milford that drew True back. The Coffee Cantina’s Peaberry? A chance at running into Wendy Wiley or Molly Kinsella, who he’s seen so much of online? Surely it wasn’t that sentient lamppost that woman is waving to down the street.

July 23, 2014

Milford Wax Job

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Just plain sad, Milford Idiots — timbuys @ 5:01 am

July 23, 2014

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Let’s take stock of where we are… Oh, we’re in Jefferson High School just like the sign said in yesterday’s strip. What else? Well, Art is drinking a cup of swirly coffee and True is drinking a cup of pens and pencils while they meet with the presumable head coach of the Jeffs over the world’s smallest office desk – drawing perspective is hell I tell you: look how low Art has to slouch just to fit in panel.

Panel two is a bit of a stumper. Why is the Jeffs’ coach running down Milford? Gil already told the Standish’s what they could do with themselves if they expected him to lift a finger on their behalf so it’s hard to believe that Milford is somehow the front runner for True’s services. Regardless, with respect to this waxing business, insert mandatory Steve Luhm joke here.

Panel three promises us nothing but more sorrowful ennui as it seems that the unnamed Jeffs coach failed to close the deal and we are going to get more snippets of the Standish’s meeting with Valley conference coaches. (Sales tip coach: Your first instinct not to run the other guy down was correct. You need to convince the prospect why your school is the right one.) Speaking of which, assuming the Valley covers a fairly broad territory, wouldn’t the school True attends be dictated either by wherever the Standish’s live or however far they are willing to drive to a private school? Am I missing something here?

July 3, 2014

Safe, Sane and Consensual

Filed under: football, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 6:10 am

July 3, 2014

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So the man with the football and whistle is Tim and/or Jay Forbes from the middle school.  (Has he been in this strip before? TWIM historians, I look to you.) He’s not wasting time in laying out the ground rules for this scene practice. All that’s missing is the safe word; I’m guessing “routes.” Some couples are starting to pair off – the lobster-clawed guy in the middle of P2 is already melting into his partner to his left.

In familiar Milford fashion, one of the teens establishes himself as hyper-serious and faux mature. Jarrod Hale, having read or heard somewhere that quarterbacks are supposed to be leaders,  thrusts himself into this role.  What says the one-hand touches on Jarrod include some above-the-neck face slaps and nasty wedgies?

None of this foreplay will last for long however. Jarrod has only four seconds to unload, which is about par for the course for a teenaged boy. (See what I did there? Foreplay? Par for the course? Laying up for the transition to the golf portion of this arc on Monday.)

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