It’s clear we have no journalistic standards in this town…

Panel 1: When you’re clones, you all get sad at the exact same time.

Panel 2: “Hello, I’m here to let you know that the letters on your sign are poorly proportioned.”

Panel 3: The dialogue here might as well be in a foreign language, but I do enjoy the retro lamp, three full cups of coffee, multiple stacks of paper, and yet no computer to speak of on the editor’s desk. (“In Milford, we can still do that.”) That and the funky shag carpeting. Maybe Brendan is here to discuss a follow-up story on the kid still stuck in that tree.

And now, apropos of nothing, I present “Easiest Photoshop Job Ever!”:

Amor es…No mas Elmer!

6/14/08

Even though it made less than no sense, I was happy on Saturday that the spring plot had come to a conclusion…Gil and Mimi, on the couch discussing how incredibly stupid the kids in Milford are. But then the final panel began to worry me a bit. It’s as if it was going…to…continue?

6/16/08

Damn it. This is all gonna drag out for another week? Really? Seriously? Well, $%@#&*&. This is all time that could be spent on a summer adventure of any number of characters way less lame than the ones we see here. On top of that, I’m not sure if Rod Whigham got the memo that the Zollar family is actually black, not Latino.

Well I don’t have to play along, so rather than talk about this, I’m going to immerse myself in something much more fascinating: A recent Spanish version of “Love Is”! (Yeah, I’ve done it before when times got rough.):

Tyler finally exacts his revenge on that guy who clubbed him!

While we all wait for Grant to walk 14 miles to go retrieve that home run ball, let me show ya the original Panel 2 of today’s comic. (The syndicate removed it for being too interesting.):

Tyler’s Whackee Idea!

That’s Tyler Jay? Tyler Jay??? The only legitimate excuse I can offer for this latest travesty is that when reviewing Frank 1.0’s notes, Neo-Frank noticed that he’d labeled Andrew and Tyler as the exact same person and figured it was some sort of mistake. The more likely scenario is that Neo-Frank couldn’t give a rat’s ass ’cause he’s only doing this for two more weeks anyway, and by god who really pays attention to this comic anyway?

I am glad to see that the bland forgettable character claiming to be Tyler Jay took the time between yesterday and today to put on the collared shirt that’s now required dress code the strip. Why it’s a tuxedo shirt, however, is beyond me. This whole plot, combined with incorrectly insane artwork is almost beyond comment right now. But I do have a pretty good idea of what Tyler’s logical solution to the problem is:

…and speaking of Photoshoppin’ fun, faithful reader julienne has provided some Thorp-themed wallpaper for your computer background enjoyment! Based on the wacky Maureen stake-out of Andrew’s house, it’s perfect for any obsessed weirdo…! (So…um, all of us.)

Oblivious to the Obvious Solution…

Derrrrr….Gee, so we have to find some sort of white male adult in this Gil Thorp universe. One who likes to help teenagers in trouble. Hmmm, all of the parents are dead or missing or something. What about Clambake? Is he white? Well, even if he is, he’s too senile anyway. Fred Kotesky? I heard he fled to Mexico after they discovered his basement meth lab. English teacher Bob Roth? Part of the Witness Protection Program after sitting in on Gil’s attempt to hire Cully as a hitman. Marty Moon? Really? Are we gonna even go there?

Nope I can’t think of any wholesome-looking 1950’s-era gentleman old enough to pass for Curley-Horse’s dad who would want to help them out…especially since the children have been replaced by psychotic vibrating midgets (wait… maybe that’s what they always were.)

Hold it, I’ve got the obvious solution:

OLD KAZ SMASH BAD KAZ RIPOFF!

Is that supposed to be KAZ? Clearly this is unacceptable. If only the real Kaz could come and take his proper place in this comic. Oh boy, look, we’re in for a treat!

Actually you did kinda mumble, coach.

Ah, another annual tradition is upon us! Each year, Gil Thorp chooses one random day to get royally, insanely pissed off about something ridiculous, in order to prove he still  cares as a coach, and/or is not actually a robot. Lucky for us, we also get a bonus shot of a kid who may or may or may not have a mohawk, as well as the most confusing action panel I’ve seen in a long time. (I can’t even begin to dissect what the hell is happening in panel two…)

As the tradition goes, if Gil’s head explodes from his anger, we’re in for another six weeks of the same meandering, insane winter plotline. Let’s see what happens…

…well that was no shocker.

Wait a sec, is Gil trying to implement the Wing-T offense?

Nobody cares, Curley-Horse.

This sucks. To mix things up a bit, instead of berating this comic, I just did some half-assed photoshopping to make it more amusing to me. And hopefully to you. Enjoy!