This Week in Milford

July 23, 2016

Did Emeril Sponsor Today’s Strip?

Filed under: baseball, big arms, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, freak hands, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 3:05 pm


‘Cause we’ve gone from a BANG! to a BAM!

I’m not gonna play lawyer here and rehash any of the details of Del Bader’s first DUI or the accident that killed Boo Radley. I’ll just say that anything Ken Brown says or does to Barry Bader should go straight from Barry’s lips to Del’s stupid lawyer’s ears…

… that is, once Barry picks his lips up off the floor and gets them sewn back onto his face. It’s fixin’ to be on like Donkey Kong in the Milford locker room; it only remains to be seen who will step in and break up the melee: Gil (yeah, right), Kaz (even money) or (Specialiest Snowflake) True (possibly endangering his post-Milford sports career in the process).

Me, I’m pulling for Barry getting Hang ’em Hiatt recused from Del’s case, if only to add a new wrinkle to this slog.

July 22, 2016

I Shoulda Kept That Alliteration Joke In Reserve

Filed under: Bad Jokes, freak hands, Marty Moon — timbuys @ 11:17 am


Not that I would ever cross a picket line, but here’s today’s cruddy replacement post:

I’m going to assume that’s just Ken hitting his locker and not slamming it shut with Barry stuffed inside as has been so devoutly wished for by our TWIM commentariat.


July 21, 2016

Metapost: Going On Strike.

Filed under: Gil Thorp, metapost — robmize2013 @ 5:34 pm

Okay gang – after much thought (okay, not that much) about the length of this plot, my busy summer with trips coming up both tomorrow and next month, plus all the fun outdoor activities I do, plus the fact that in 3 years of doing this blog once a week I havent really taken a vacation from it, its time not only for a vacation but to go on strike. To officially protest the length of this storyline, and keeping  those poor Milford kids in school in mid-July, and a month-long funeral process, and the family Bader not knowing who’s coming or going in the house, if they still own the house, and the never-ending baseball season, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  I’ve officially had it.

Now if y’all also join me in this strike, there wont be anyone to write this blog, so I dont encourage a full walkout, but just giving a heads-up that I am O.U.T.  until the new storyline starts. Hopefully you can all pitch in until then. I’m sure you completely understand. Its been miserable coming home every day and seeing that, yep, MHS is still plugging away in class 2 weeks after Independence Day. Who knows if the air still works.

Anyway, thanks again for filling in for me until either Barry is the first student ever expelled in August or Del gets 10 to 15. Years, not free Jack Daniels bottles. Maybe Drew may decide he likes hockey after all.

I will announce my return to work in another metapost after demanding at least a 300% raise. Enjoy the rest of your summer and — Stay thirsty my friends!

— Rob


Boo’s-eye View

Filed under: actual action, baseball, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Highlight reel — teenchy @ 4:51 am


Not much to say today beyond this crazy time dilation thing. I guess The Stability of Baseball is going to make a man out of Barry and help him lead Milford to third in the Valley just before Labor Day weekend.

Interesting choice of perspective in P2: is it that of the late Boo Radley? The entire panel is messed up, with the players, the umpire, the batter’s boxes and home plate all seemingly drawn to different scales.  Speaking of different scales, how about the Oakwood fielder with Zippy’s cap?

July 20, 2016

The Stability Of Baseball

Filed under: baseball, Boredom in Milford, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp — timbuys @ 4:24 am


Stay focused on the important things in life, Kaz. Is Rubin purposely trying to make everyone in this arc aside from True appear to be an ass? Apparently so.

July 19, 2016

Brown v. Bader

Filed under: Just plain sad — timbuys @ 6:58 am


Brazen But Buff Barry Bader Barely Bumped By Brawny Bully… Ah, forget it.  Hey wasn’t there someone else whose name started with a B?

Oh yeah, Ken Brown. He sure doesn’t look like he’s going to sit through much more of this.

Bonus Point: Isn’t this technically Barry’s second day back?

July 18, 2016

Classic Barry

Filed under: Gil Thorp — nedryerson @ 3:28 am


In case it wasn’t made clear already, Barry has a problem. Barry’s problem is that he is Barry and he has no way of modulating his Barry-ness. There’s 100% Barry or no Barry at all.

Barry is Barry and people didn’t like him precisely for his Berry-ness even before his father got tanked up and caused the accident. Now, Barry has doubled-down (some say the chip on his shoulder grew three sizes), gone to eleven, broke the Barry barrier, etc. and his insufferable mouth is begging for punching. Why should we have expected any different? Classic Barry.

July 16, 2016

I Will Be Your Bader Figure, I Have Had Enough of Crime


What kind of gravitational time dilation is happening in Milford, where school is still in regular session on July 16? Have they gone to year-round classes without us knowing? This seems like the kind of crap Hobart might’ve pulled during a closed-door school board session to spite Gil and his ex-wife. In any event, no reason for Gil to tell Barry to slow down – time has slowed enough already.

If Barry (who continues to suffer from alopecia areata and Braying Jackass Exploding Mouth Syndrome) thought the stupid lawyer cost so much, imagine how much a smart one – one who might have kept Del out of jail – would’ve cost! At least over the next few days we’ll finally get to see what a lot of us thought we should’ve seen at least two weeks ago: Gil offer some kind of counseling to poor, delusional, self-absorbed, father figureless Barry, albeit not necessarily of his own volition.

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