This Week in Milford

September 23, 2019

Ease Up, Ballard

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The theme of the fall plot so far is: Chet Gotta Chet.

Today we see him camped out on the front porch, waiting to grill Charlie about football practice. (Maybe that’s a rear entrance with a sliding glass door? It seems like a wide opening for a standard door. Look at all those parallel lines: flooring, siding, a multi tiered tiled deck. That’s some serious drafting. Yes, the architectural details are more arresting than the third or fourth occurrence of Chet Ballard’s overbearing parenting.)

I don’t know anything about high school football practice. I always pictured it as a lot of jumping jacks, running and other conditioning, maybe throw in some drills. Y’all are going to have to enlighten me. Of course there must be scrimmaging too with starters getting more reps than back ups. That seems more like a professional thing that can be picked apart all week by the 900 gossipy shows on ESPN. “Eli’s not getting the bulk of reps in practice and he’s sulking in his Porsche!!”

What is revealed is that Charlie is not just ambivalent toward Chet. He’s kind of over it. Maybe he should have a chat with his mom.

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September 21, 2019

Talk to the Hands, Maybe

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Chance Macy: introvert, or just antisocial?

Bob “Kaz” Kazinski: actual coach, or Gil’s Boy Friday?

Gil “Gil” Thorp: protective of his players, or control freak media manipulator?

Hey, Rubin can write a cryptic strip, why can’t we post cryptic blog posts?

At least the Chief can indulge his hand fetish illustrating this little tête-à-tête. Either Gil has six fingers on his left hand or one of them’s his thumb peeking from between the others. Both Gil and Kaz look to have overdeveloped right hands, IYKWIMAITYD.

 

 

September 20, 2019

Fat chance Chance gets interviewed

Filed under: Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 10:18 am

I’m off to Oregon for a camping trip so comment away! Any chance of Chance going to a party is out the door.

September 19, 2019

Seeing Chance Macy

Filed under: ?, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos, What the hell is going on here? — timbuys @ 9:51 am

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Chet and the only other party attendee willing to talk to him other than Chet’s wife are both creeps.

Panel 3 is amazing in so many ways, from the off-center lampshade to the multi-surface flooring right down to Chance’s socks, the details all count for so much and yet convey so little.

As is so often the case, we are left to simply ask What The Hell Is Going On Here?

September 18, 2019

The Air In the Front Yard Is Cooler Than the Air Coming Out of You*

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Back from a brief hiatus and feeling a bit refreshed. Know what else would be refreshing? A story arc about a player who just wants to get better and actually gets better through coaching. A kid whose parents are simply supportive of his or her interests and not trying to live vicariously through them or project their own shortcomings onto them.

But that would be asking too much, wouldn’t it? Far easier to trot out the cardboard villain adult who puts it where it doesn’t belong to try to advance their kid’s causes for their own selfish motives. Here busybody Ballard feels that need to for reasons known only to him. Where does he plan to use his observation about Chance Macy? As evidence that the kid is too gassed/hurt to come out to party** and, as such, deserves to be benched in favor of Charlie? Or that his not coming out to party is evidence that he’s not a team player and, as such, deserves to be benched in favor of Charlie?

Either way, it’ll be another strike against Ballard, whose big swing and a miss on Tiki Jansen makes this strike two.

*Alternate title: Chet Ballard, Backdoor Man. Is that an actual transom above the Schuring’s back door?

**Pretty confident of the Schurings to plan a postgame victory party at their house, innit?

September 17, 2019

Is He Not Able To See Them Through The Window?

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P1: As a school board member, our man Chet has shown nothing more than he collapses like a house of cards in a gentle breeze.

P2: Hey, do you notice how none of the other adults at the Schurings’ party seem to be talking to the Ballard-Roh family?

P3: Chet’s face is so adorable when he gets all pissy, who can blame Charlie’s mom for giving a little tickle under the chin?

Bonus question: What is it that Thorp’s presence is intended to deter?

I made this point in the comments yesterday but it sure is a shame how we’ve gone from thrilling actual action on the old gridiron to people talking about things they’re not going to do.

September 16, 2019

I’m Whipped, But TWIM Must Go On!

Filed under: Pantheon of Hair — nedryerson @ 5:51 am

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Now we know that Hiawatha James is the high hair guy. I think that is only now being established, but I might have missed something last year. But enough of that, let’s talk about this party.

Chance Macy is whipped, so he won’t be attending. His loss, there might be fireworks!

With the obligatory locker room fist bumping out of the way, let’s check in on that party…

It is as Hiawatha decreed. The parents are staying inside….except for one “parent”…step parent to be precise. It’s Chet Ballard. Chet wants to “check on the kids”. His wife, who we know as Charlie’s mother/Chet’s wife, who doesn’t have a name, reacts with an emphatic NO!

I guess Charlie’s mom has already suffered through Chet’s awkward attempts to “parent” and would rather not have to see him further embarrass himself (and her) in public.

Stay tuned.

September 14, 2019

Shindig At The Schurings, Bring Your Mom

Filed under: football, Pantheon of Hair — nedryerson @ 7:07 am

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Yesterday, Gil had his post-game moment with Oakwood’s coach, and now we switch to the team’s perspective…and what a perspective.

Our QB has an announcement…which he conveyed via text. So where is QB Chris Schuring? Has he already left? There are some players still in full uniform while the guy standing in panel 1 is already in civies. I guess everyone moves at their own pace and some guys like to linger in their sweaty gear. Schuring is already halfway to the Beverage Castle to pick up refreshments, I guess.

The idea of an impromptu party for kids and their parents seems very weird. It kind of seems like a party where nobody is really going to have much fun. Things are different in Milford. Maybe some parents like to do beer bongs or maybe the Schurings have a caterer on call and can have rumaki for one hundred at a moment’s notice.

It’s good that the unknown Mudlark in panel 3 (how high up out of panel does his hair go?) starts laying down some ground rules for the party. He probably has a mobile dj rig in his car and he’s been itching to bust it out all summer. The parents shall stay inside, listen to Steely Dan and feel each other out on who might be down to swing.

Ah heck, forget all these flights of fancy. The only reason the parents are involved is a pretext so Chet can show up and be an asshole.

Take it away, Jonathan Richman

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