‘Cause we’ve gone from a BANG! to a BAM!
I’m not gonna play lawyer here and rehash any of the details of Del Bader’s first DUI or the accident that killed Boo Radley. I’ll just say that anything Ken Brown says or does to Barry Bader should go straight from Barry’s lips to Del’s stupid lawyer’s ears…
… that is, once Barry picks his lips up off the floor and gets them sewn back onto his face. It’s fixin’ to be on like Donkey Kong in the Milford locker room; it only remains to be seen who will step in and break up the melee: Gil (yeah, right), Kaz (even money) or (Specialiest Snowflake) True (possibly endangering his post-Milford sports career in the process).
Me, I’m pulling for Barry getting Hang ’em Hiatt recused from Del’s case, if only to add a new wrinkle to this slog.
Not that I would ever cross a picket line, but here’s today’s cruddy replacement post:
I’m going to assume that’s just Ken hitting his locker and not slamming it shut with Barry stuffed inside as has been so devoutly wished for by our TWIM commentariat.
Not much to say today beyond this crazy time dilation thing. I guess The Stability of Baseball™ is going to make a man out of Barry and help him lead Milford to third in the Valley just before Labor Day weekend.
Interesting choice of perspective in P2: is it that of the late Boo Radley? The entire panel is messed up, with the players, the umpire, the batter’s boxes and home plate all seemingly drawn to different scales. Speaking of different scales, how about the Oakwood fielder with Zippy’s cap?
Stay focused on the important things in life, Kaz. Is Rubin purposely trying to make everyone in this arc aside from True appear to be an ass? Apparently so.
Brazen But Buff Barry Bader Barely Bumped By Brawny Bully… Ah, forget it. Hey wasn’t there someone else whose name started with a B?
Oh yeah, Ken Brown. He sure doesn’t look like he’s going to sit through much more of this.
Bonus Point: Isn’t this technically Barry’s second day back?
In case it wasn’t made clear already, Barry has a problem. Barry’s problem is that he is Barry and he has no way of modulating his Barry-ness. There’s 100% Barry or no Barry at all.
Barry is Barry and people didn’t like him precisely for his Berry-ness even before his father got tanked up and caused the accident. Now, Barry has doubled-down (some say the chip on his shoulder grew three sizes), gone to eleven, broke the Barry barrier, etc. and his insufferable mouth is begging for punching. Why should we have expected any different? Classic Barry.
What kind of gravitational time dilation is happening in Milford, where school is still in regular session on July 16? Have they gone to year-round classes without us knowing? This seems like the kind of crap Hobart might’ve pulled during a closed-door school board session to spite Gil and his ex-wife. In any event, no reason for Gil to tell Barry to slow down – time has slowed enough already.
If Barry (who continues to suffer from alopecia areata and
Braying Jackass Exploding Mouth Syndrome) thought the stupid lawyer cost so much, imagine how much a smart one – one who might have kept Del out of jail – would’ve cost! At least over the next few days we’ll finally get to see what a lot of us thought we should’ve seen at least two weeks ago: Gil offer some kind of counseling to poor, delusional, self-absorbed, father figureless Barry, albeit not necessarily of his own volition.