Kevin Pelwecki may not have a poster of the right guard on his wall, but does he have Groucho Marx and Chuck McCann in his medicine cabinet?
Here we were for the past couple of days remarking on how this strip portrays football positions in dialog balloons as abbreviations and wondering whether Milfordians pronounced them as abbreviations, and now here are kids sounding out the full name of each position. In so doing The Secret Pelwecki shows himself to be yet another in a very long line of Milford Idiots who want nothing more than to be the
defensive lineman right guard center of attention. I blame reality television.
Then – hey y’all, look! It’s a rare Coach Shaw spotting – and with more lines than just about ever. He’s setting us up for the fifth-string QB‘s transition into the third-string TE. Kaz, however, has had enough of his talk. By doing an end-around to snatch Coach Shaw’s MATT mug, Kaz asserts his dominance over Coach Shaw and maintains his status as beta male on the Milford sidelines.
So now Gil has 5 QB’s and no tight ends. Unless he counts his ass and Kaz’s, which makes 2. (I’m here all week.) Nice roster management.
I now get the feeling that Pelweki may be recruited to play tight end, since why the hell would he need to watch FILM with 4 other guys? They need 5 quarterbacks like Gil needs a lemonade stand in the summer. If Gil already had 4, no way would he waste time with Kevin at practice, not if he had connected brain cells. Every plot turn gets more ridiculous then the last in this strip. Next we’ll see Heather trying out for tight end. You watch. I’ll stay in bed.
So now Kevin is the fifth-string quarterback, between the Mississippi National Guard and the League of Women Voters. No actual word on who the second-, third- or fourth-stringers are. Also no word as to why The Secret Pelwecki is getting some reps under center. Maybe Gil thought he hadn’t made enough belittling dickish comments for the day.
Finally, no word on how Rick Scott knows how Pete DeWindt hurt himself on that big block. Perhaps he is The Injury Whisperer, much as his new understudy Heather fancies herself The Quarterback Whisperer. I suppose this presages the position switch The Real Pelwecki tipped us off to: not to QB but to TE (as this strip prints it). I’m sure Gil will cook up a play that lets him make a handoff – some kind of reverse or double reverse.
Anyone out there familiar with protocols for calling off a game? I would think that if you’re waiting until you see lightning, you’re waiting too long. I do kind of like the notion of Marty losing his vintage 2008 MacBook to a lightning strike though… Also, I kind of like the fact that Marty refers to PUB as home.
Marty Moon is going to give Gil so much hell about allowing the game to continue with lightning in the vicinity… But who cares about that? Today’s strip is one of the best we’ve seen in a long time.
The rain soaked game continues. It’s all ponchos and slop. Is that line coach Steve Boone barking out to his lineman, aka hogs, to slug it out in the slop? Hogs do enjoy slop. You know who really loves him some slop? TE Pete De Windt! He loves slippin’ and slidin’ in the slop and throwing big, explosive blocks so that Milford can move, sloppily. Stay sloppy, Pete!
Edited to add: I can’t believe I missed the chance to throw in a few obscure pop culture references. First, I could have used the Devo song Sloppy (I Saw My Baby Getting) and second, the Frank Zappa line: Is that a real poncho or a Sears poncho? Oh well, I still get paid the same. (Also, there is really no decent video for the Devo song. They didn’t make a proper video for the song and all of the live ones on Youtube look and/or sound like crap.)
So now we see the equipment bag in its full glory; Heather pulled ONE football out of that monstrosity. Another silly idea – bring 1 football in a huge bag. Then we have silly idea #2 – Kevin handing a bag of – chips? – to a surprised student. Great idea to practice with chips – shove em right in someone’s belly and watch the bag open to a crumbling mess. Lovely. Pass the dip please. He could hand off his term paper like that too; how about a pair of glasses to an umpire. Garbage to the janitor. Books to the librarian. A balloon to a clown. A sack of coins to his banker. With interest of course.
The home opener on October 14; even the Nats and Dodgers got done before this. And no bonfire in this soggy mess; a blessing for some, a fumble-fest for some others.