This Week in Milford

May 28, 2016

Now with More Drinking, Just Not the Kind You’re Expecting

Filed under: freak hands, Gil Thorp, metapost, Milford Idiots, softball, The Bucket — teenchy @ 8:32 am

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I was expecting a lot of drinking in today’s strip, but rather of the industrial solvent kind. I reckon we’ll have to wait until next week for Del’s wine-sodden world to unravel. Instead we’re full-on sports for the second day in a row, as Boo Radley succumbs to catcher noogies and the beginnings of a dawgpile.

Then it’s on to The Bucket, where Boo invokes the unwritten rules of softball whilst the girl across from her settles in and makes herself comfortable on a giant circus peanut. The burning question for this holiday weekend: Now that they’re just BFFs, can Boo’s milkshake (and the news of her no-hitter) still bring True to the yard? Or will fate, in the form of a swerving Del Bader, tragically intervene?

Metapost: I’ve added a new category to the tags: The Bucket. As time permits maybe I’ll go back and retroactively tag Bucket posts.

May 27, 2016

Happy days are here again

Filed under: actual action, softball — robmize2013 @ 8:04 pm

The only no-hitter I was officially involved in was 18 years ago, my debut as a manager of 12-13 year olds. Opening Day was rained out, so we made it up on a Tuesday evening. I had identified 4 players as pitchers, and my choice to start the opener was a traveling-team athlete whose father was my assistant. We scored early and often, and won 10-0 in a 5-inning slaughter-rule game. My ace faced 19 hitters striking out 15, with 3 walks and an error accounting for the only baserunners. He had a great slider developed working with his dad and also threw strikes on command with his technique that was ahead of the rec-ball level players he was facing. No one could hit his slider, and it was such a dominant performance I left that night thinking if we didnt win the league title with this guy, it would be the longest summer of my life. Good thing my dream came true 2 months later.

And good thing Boo let her catcher know she was throwing a knuckler, which catchers all hate b/c nobody ever knows where its going, even the pitcher. It was effective, as it fooled the hitter who was looking dead red again. Major leaguers are so used to fastballs in the 90’s that a knuckleball just messes up their timing, sometimes for days.

Otherwise no advancement of the plot, as we still have to wait for the DUI verdict and the boys still talking about how long the sentence will be.

 

 

 

May 26, 2016

The Albert Collins Defense

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“I’m drinking alone because… I prefer to be by myself.” Stuff just writes itself.

The last time I checked, the “D” in “DUI” stood for “driving,” not “drinking.” Where Hang ’em Hiatt gets off trying to impose morality on those she adjudicates, I don’t know. She should be directing Del not to drink and drive; if he cabs, Ubers, rides the dog or hitches between Center City and Milford, he can release the hounds all he wants. Just don’t get behind the wheel once he decides to cast his sheets to the wind.

Following up from my comment to yesterday’s post: Which old Republican does Del look like today: Ted Cruz, Tricky Dick, Pat Buchanan, or Simple J. Malarkey? I think we can agree on the source of young Master Bader’s nose. C’mon, Whigham, if Gil Thorp is gonna turn into a strip about drinking with a dash of high school sports thrown in, at least draw some gin blossoms on that schnozz.

Oh yeah, speaking of sports: Boo’s gonna lose that no-hitter; any bets as to how?

Okay, back to drinking: I expect Del to get pulled over and locked up by Saturday. At least by sticking to wine and not the hard stuff, he can stand before Ken Brown’s mom next week and assert the Albert Collins Defense.

May 25, 2016

They’re Not Really Sitting That Far Away

Filed under: Boredom in Milford — timbuys @ 5:49 am

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Today’s strip is one where it really doesn’t pay off to read this stuff every day. I am curious just how drunk this customer thinks Del is supposed to get as part of their ‘celebration’ but that’s about all the interest I can come up with for today.

Be sure to tune in tomorrow where we will doubtless get more talk/non-talk about Boo’s no-hitter and Del’s fleeting abstinence.

 

May 24, 2016

Sure, We Could Be Seeing Actual Action

Filed under: hideous scar faces, What the hell is going on here? — timbuys @ 4:25 am

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But better that we watch this phony baloney sales meeting. About the nicest thing I can say for panels one and two is that the drawings of the light fixtures in panel two are kinda interesting if poorly rendered. Otherwise, today’s strip uses more than three-quarters of its space to essentially rehash yesterday’s plot development, leaving us with one desultory panel of Boo marching back to the dugout mid no-hitter.

Bonus point? Maybe if so much space hadn’t been allotted to panels one and two, we could get a better glimpse of the flipper Boo is wearing on her right foot.

May 23, 2016

Selansky’s Doesn’t Have A Floor Show?

Filed under: actual action, freak hands, Just plain sad, softball — nedryerson @ 3:32 am

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We’re back to the one panel of sports and two panels of Del Bader format. In our ‘sports’ panel, one of Tilden’s girls swings wildly with her eyes closed, but at least she is attired in a softball uniform. On to Del’s Dinner meeting…

Del’s client won’t need his usual order this quarter! Oh no! Del freaks out a little bit. His face contorts into a Ted Cruz face, or even worse, a Ted Cruz face that suddenly wants four Moscow Mules. Oh, he’s doubling his order. The client needs twice the usual amount of industrial solvents this quarter! Things are booming at Amalgamated Industries. This calls for a celebration. What’ll you have, Del?

May 21, 2016

It Ain’t Named for Emperor Haile Selasky

Filed under: Fat Guys, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Milford Idiots, Neal's friends, softball — teenchy @ 9:52 pm

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So Barry Bader’s potato-nosed, freckle-faced clone is Pete deWindt? What are they, like The Boys from Brazil or something?

As for Miss Talking Banana Fingers and the rest of her teammates, don’t they know that they’re violating the unwritten rules of softball by not only talking about a no-hitter in progress but by interacting with the pitcher who’s throwing it? And what’s up with the Lady Mudlarks wearing the basketball team’s uniforms? They didn’t have to do that last season. Did Mimi raid the till to fund her wine habit?

I wonder whose car Del Bader is driving to Selasky’s Supper Club (named for Rubin’s pal, the food writer for the Detroit Free Press). Wasn’t his impounded? From the sign, it looks like Selasky’s might double as a Subaru dealership but that logo on the horn pad looks like Nissan’s hamburger. Why the heck would Del bring up his pending DUI conviction to a client at all? He should just say “No drinks tonight, thanks, doctor’s orders” and leave it at that. I sense the elder Bader entering a Willy Lomanesque death spiral in the not-too-distant future.

May 20, 2016

Time for a distraction

Filed under: baseball, Coach Kaz, general nonsense, Gil Thorp — robmize2013 @ 8:23 pm

When I coached baseball years ago, my first team was talented, enough so that we could win most games without playing our best. They also didnt always focus on the game while in the dugout. I remember one game after we lost on some bonehead play, one of the parents told the team – ‘You guys should be dominating these games, and instead you sit in here talking about Ru Paul! ‘ After some uncomfortable laughter, they focused in the rest of the way and won the league title.

So here is another team distracted by off-the-field issues and also split on communicating the issue to the 2 relevant players.  I love how apparently Gil or Kaz is in the dugout talking about players sitting RIGHT NEXT TO THEM!!! In the words of Joe Paterno – ‘I cant hear a word you’re sayin.’ Maybe its just the bench players with them but theyre still on the team and supposedly in the bet.

And this bet will open up a can of worms too, if it turns out there’s money involved. Could be the team is down to Ken and Barry by seasons end. Even the King and his Court needed 4 players.

 

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