This Week in Milford

December 2, 2006

Don’t bother winning one for the gimper. Hell, don’t even play.

 Friday, December 1

Saturday, December 2

(Sorry for the delay in posting since Thursday…I got a paper cut on my elbow and as a result had to have my entire arm amputated.)

…so lowering my expectations on the “injury to Bill” cliffhanger seems to have paid off. Lost his leg, eh? That’s a pretty serious development for this comic. Well, at least I thought it was serious…Apparently Gil thinks it’s a laugh riot! Time to try out your best jokes, eh Coach Thorp? The only reason Bill is playing along is ’cause he’s doped up on morphine and thinks he really will be playing football in two weeks. Too bad we had to move the comic along. There wasn’t time for the rest of Gil’s hilarious routine:

“Hey Bill, don’t get up on my account…But I thought you’d be ‘hoppy’ to come over here! Say, did you hear the one about the one-legged tight end? Neither did I. You’re cut, peg-leg! OK, folks, I’ll be here all week. Remember to tip your nurses!”

And then on to another football game. Or more accurately, Stormy talking about a football game. What a motivator this guy is! The one time he has a legitimate reason to get the team riled up, and his pep talk is to tell them that Bill will be listening to the game? Maybe he’s just trying to point out that Bill will be in excruciating pain for the next three hours, not because of losing his leg, but because he has to subject himself to Marty Moon’s awful radio broadcast. The other players may be their usual zombie selves, but at least that random flask on top of the locker is now psyched for the game.

And then we have Saturday’s confusing installment. So, weren’t they about to play a game? But now they’ve just been practicing for a week? Huh? Are they gonna play more games or what? I need a damn schedule next year.

Some miscellaneous observations:

– The wisdom of Coach Kaz: “I don’t want to jinx our fabulously great luck, but ever since our tight end got his leg chopped off, the team has just done great! So great that I don’t even care that you accidentally glued your face to my shoulder…”

– Gil, still floating from his morphine contact high, also seems blissfully unconcerned about losing what used to be one of Milford’s star players. At least now we know their current record without having to do research to figure it out.

– Panel 3 is just depicted from a horrible, horrible angle…It was apparently drawn using the secret locker room security camera as reference. And unfortunately yesterday’s motivated liquor bottle has now melted into a  disinterested blob. But on the plus side, I think Lou Ferrigno has sneaked into practice, presumably to hear the list of unlikely game scenarios that may or may not affect Milford (but definitely don’t affect my desire to finish talking about today’s strip.) See, there, I’m done. 

9 Comments »

  1. They left off the second half of Gil’s speech in panel 3.
    We just need to keep chopping wood, no offense to Bill, and the rest will take care of itself!And..I wanna go ahead and give a season gameball to chainsaw. Chainsaw! Chainsaw! Chainsaw!”

    Comment by bart — December 3, 2006 @ 8:03 am

  2. This has to be a contender for the Tackiest Exploitation of a Tragedy, not to mention Lamest. One quick joke from Coach Gil, and everybody clears out of the hospital to get back to the real business of football. Even Stormy is unaffected by his best friend’s misfortune; he seems to be smirking as he delivers his non-pep talk. If Milford does well in the playdowns, Coach Gil is going to start handing out chainsaws in spring practice: “Be careful out there! Heh, heh, heh!” (Maniacal chuckle on loan from Dr.Froid in “Dick Tracy.”)

    Even though Bill Ritter and Sean Pettibone don’t look anything like each other, I’m convinced they are the same character: Good guy, good football player, appears to exist only as a foil to Stormy’s soul-searching. (No, he hasn’t found it yet.) Each had to give up something precious in order to advance the plot: for Bill it was a leg, for Sean it was a campaign for student government vice president.

    But the topper is that Bill and Sean have never appeared together in the strip: First we get Bill for a few weeks, then it’s Sean, then it’s Bill again.

    Coach Kaz is modeling another number from the Fall 2006 Milford Catalog O’ Varsity Wear: a fetching little letter jacket with contrasting white sleeves and zipper, and the crowning touch: a dress-shirt-style striped collar. Also, his hair is frizzier than usual — either because he’s electrified by the kids’ inspired-by-tragic-accident performance, or because he’s being prepped for the Milford Show O’Fashion by Monsieur Maurice of the Milford Den O’ Hair. (For all your hair care needs! Located in the strip mall between the problem pregnancy center and the dollar store.)

    Comment by johnw — December 3, 2006 @ 8:29 am

  3. Jason: Clip-art alert! Coach Gil’s face in Saturday’s second panel is virtually identical to the face you used in your 11/15 “Football Outsiders” comic. I guess it’s just too hard for Frank McLaughlin to produce original art for three whole panels.

    Comment by johnw — December 3, 2006 @ 9:24 am

  4. The season started September 20th. We are now in Week 12 of a nine-
    game season. Any other teams get 3 bye weeks like Milford does?

    Comment by Rob — December 3, 2006 @ 7:01 pm

  5. It used to be that teammates would shave their heads in a show of solidarity when another teammate lost all his hair to radiation treatments or something. This team is refusing to be depicted from the knees down. Way to show your support for Bill!

    Comment by JanB — December 4, 2006 @ 6:10 am

  6. This is reminiscent of Jack Del Rio’s motivational ploy of having a tree stump and an ax in the Jacksonville locker room. And then the punter almost severing his leg with said ax. Hard to say which scenario is stupider.

    Comment by Sourbelly — December 4, 2006 @ 10:23 am

  7. […] Soooooo, what is interesting about this? Learning two thirds of the men’s basketball lineup? Wondering why Marty Moon conducts interviews using a stick of gum as his tape recorder? Anticipation that Stormy Hicks may soon make another appearance? (I mean it has been two weeks since we got to party with Stormy!) No, what I found interesting is that the tapeworm (named “Timmy”) that lives on top of the lockers has grown about a foot since it last appeared about a month ago… […]

    Pingback by The tapeworm is also their sixth man « This Week in Milford — January 1, 2007 @ 10:20 pm

  8. […] heavy bag, he enjoys standing 6 inches from it and jabbing it. I knew making fun of him constantly, even while he was still in the hospital, would finally pay […]

    Pingback by Punch like a butterfly, hop like a bee « This Week in Milford — August 1, 2007 @ 9:28 am

  9. […] round of “Gil Thorp mocks an amputee!” What, you didn’t know that was a thing? It’s a thing. (Gil’s such a dick when he’s […]

    Pingback by Luckily, Gil is a hands-off kind of coach. « This Week in Milford — July 18, 2012 @ 12:02 am


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