This Week in Milford

January 28, 2007

Low-volume observations

Filed under: basketball, Boredom in Milford, Gil Thorp, Marty Moon — jasbeattie @ 11:28 pm


I guess Marty Moon’s magical powers allow him to see Ted Pearse’s level of upsetedness at his own craptacular play even with his eyes closed…wow! You know the team is boring when even Marty can’t stay awake through an entire game.

So now Ted’s poor play somehow means that Curly will be starting again? Did Tyler switch to playing 2 guard when I wasn’t looking? Or more likely, has everyone just forgotten about Freckles during Milford’s losing streak? (I know I have.) By default Tyler should get the job back as soon as even ol’ Gil forgets about the forgettable R.J. Brennan.

Two unimportant observations on the second panel: First, that is a very weird looking headrest. For no good reason I imagine it as a giant Twinkie. Second, I see Brynna isn’t wearing her seatbelt. Perhaps she finds it unnecessary as she is firmly stuck to the seat with some combination of tentacle suction and alien slime?

And so Brynna thinks starters are more popular people. Well, she’s right, isn’t she? Does that make her a bitch? No, what makes her an evil bitch is that she says absolutely everything with that unpleasant sneer of hers. Maybe she should grow a moustache to twirl menacingly. (As long as these characters aren’t completely one-dimensional or anything.)


Lots and lots of questions:

Has Stormy been traded to another team?

Has Ted stolen Steve Luhm’s hair helmet?

Are all black characters going to be drawn with shaded foreheads from now on?

Can Mrs. (Peggy!) Wyche continue to defy all laws of perspective in her fascinating quest to make the highest-volume observations possible?

Would it be possible to advance the plotline past the insufferable holding pattern of “Lisa’s mom yells at every practice and game”?

Is Gil so mad about his sucky team that he’s punched his hand through pizza dough?

Why are characters’ eyes closed all the damn time while talking?

Could there hopefully be a common solution to Gil and Mimi’s respective problems?  (Perhaps a magical offense-muzzle that shuts up Mrs Wyche but transforms her into a scoring juggernaut for the boys’ team?)

Will something please happen soon?



  1. What’s up with Ted Pearse? First he loses his football mojo because he’s nervous, now he can’t shoot. I wonder if he’s coming down with some sort of disease that affects motor skills and hand-eye coordination.

    And I have to say, Marty Moon in the first strip’s Panel 1 is fantastic. I love the closed eyes while broadcasting a game (maybe he thinks that since his audience can’t see the game, he shouldn’t either?), I love the deep, soulful look of focus he’s got. This would be a great drawing – if it made any sense at all within the context of the panel or the strip.

    Speaking of not syncing up, maybe Gil could get some more offense by taking a page from Mimi’s playbook, and having his players try more one-handed, over-the-shoulder halfcourt shots. Or he could just go small with a 3 guard lineup for more offense. The sad thing is I actually started legimitately thinking about whether Gil would be better off benching Stormy or Brick Jeske before I realized what I was doing.

    Comment by Cash — January 29, 2007 @ 12:24 am

  2. When the line says “Ted Pearse looks upset,” you’d think the artist could depict him kicking a water cooler or something — not just calmly walking behind Mark Jeske (?) in their Big Vertical Stripe Varsity Jackets. And yes, a boys’ team subplot involving Ted’s cold shooting is just what we needed. Three full-blown plots were not enough to keep the readers hopelessly confused until springtime.

    1/27 panel 2: Brynna’s antennae are showing!

    Looks like Peggy Wyche is the only spectator at the girls’ latest game. I guess she’s driven away the four people who were at the last game.

    I have no idea what Gil is doing in the last panel. Folding laundry? Taking off his sweater in anticipation of a night full of lovin’ with Mimi? (Insert bucket joke here.)

    Comment by johnw — January 29, 2007 @ 5:52 am

  3. Hopefully some answers –
    Has Stormy been traded to another team?
    Stormy’s offensive skills have deteriorated to the point where he has decided to concentrate totally on defense, no matter who has the ball. Surprisingly it has taken his taken his coach and teammates three games to figure this out. “But he’s leading the Valley in steals.” Marty observed.
    Is Gil so mad about his sucky team that he’s punched his hand through pizza dough?
    Actually, the Ted Danson looking coach is folding Mimi’s underwear. Evidently she’s a much larger woman from the waste down.
    Why are characters’ eyes closed all the damn time while talking?
    Mimi’s eyes are closed because she’s imagining. Imagining the muzzle stuffed in Gil’s yap. Imagining the Gilster bound and gagged while she – big bottomed Mimi, dressed in her skimpy little Nazi outfit, beats him like a piñata at a fat kid’s birthday party.
    Will something please happen soon?
    Yes, but will it be soon enough?

    Comment by tom — January 29, 2007 @ 6:06 am

  4. Tom: I think you’re on to something re: Mimi’s lower extremities. I’ve been wondering why she is always drawn from the neck up, or even as a disembodied head. Maybe there’s not enough room in the Incredible Shrinking Comics Pages for Mimi’s ass. And remember, folks… “The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’!”

    Comment by johnw — January 29, 2007 @ 7:48 am

  5. The car in panel 2 annoys the hell out of me. It’s obviously some sort of compact, yet the only explanation for Brynna’s position is that it has a bench seat in front (well, the only polite explanation — though the alternative would explain her attitude). What compact has a bench seat? Did she have him put one in? Maybe she needed the center seat position (hence a lap belt) so she could work the pedals her boyfriend is too wishy-washy to use himself.

    Comment by KurtVon — January 29, 2007 @ 9:01 am

  6. 1/27: I think the headrest looks like a block of government cheese.

    1/29: Is that supposed to be Ted taking the shot in Panel 1 (not that I should be able to get any clue from the expository statement)? The hair ain’t right. And as Jason points out, that’s Stormy with a hand in the shooter’s face. There’s your problem Gil. Remind your players which color jersey they need to defend.

    Mimi-head always detaches when it’s time to do the laundry, much to Gil’s chagrin.

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — January 29, 2007 @ 9:29 am

  7. Monday, panel 2: is attendance down to 1 (Mrs. Wyche?)?

    Comment by Flyby Reader — January 29, 2007 @ 12:25 pm

  8. You know, if Brynna really wanted Tyler back in the starting lineup, all she’d have to do is implant her baby Aliens in the abdomens of the other players on the team.

    Hmm, maybe she’s already started. That would explain the sudden absence of R.J., Grant Sanders and Stormy Hicks.

    Tomorrow: Coach Gil and Mimi at home. Gil speaks: “Gee, we started the season with twelve players. Now I’ve got six. Wonder where the other guys went…” Mimi: “Does this circus tent make my butt look big?”

    Comment by johnw — January 29, 2007 @ 12:45 pm

  9. Tom: I think you’re on to something re: Mimi’s lower extremities.

    Damn you all! I was looking for panels featuring Mimi’s ass. No luck going back to last July.

    Comment by Ennui, Willie Keeler — January 29, 2007 @ 4:02 pm

  10. Look, We all know Mimi’s got back. That’s probably why Gil goes to so many SirMixALot concerts.
    John, The proper answer is – “No, the circus tent stripes are quite flattering”.

    Comment by tom — January 29, 2007 @ 4:20 pm

  11. I’ve been wondering why she is always drawn from the neck up, or even as a disembodied head.

    It’s because she’s a nudist.

    Comment by Scott de B. — January 29, 2007 @ 5:53 pm

  12. […] eh? The real reason I think they’re still dating is so Frank can recycle shots of them from two months ago. Though from the more hulking look of Brynna, she’s stopped taking her estrogen shots since […]

    Pingback by Putting the "eep" in creepy-ass characters « This Week in Milford — April 4, 2007 @ 12:56 pm

  13. […] from the outside. The inside is so narrow they forgot to put in a center console, and instead of giant twinkies, the headrests are made out of enormous fig […]

    Pingback by Lord of the Hair: Return of the Hair « This Week in Milford — October 28, 2007 @ 10:54 pm

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