This Week in Milford

November 11, 2007

The Three Stooges School of Coaching

Filed under: Coach Kaz, football, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad — jasbeattie @ 1:04 pm


Damn, do LG Howard Gourwitz and Buzzsaw Bill have anything better to do than follow Cully around and make negative critiques of his choice in friends? (Answer: No. Losers.) Actually, I think Cully has made a pretty good choice…Right now Greaser Mitch and Boyd the Bad News Elf are the two of the least uninteresting characters in the strip. I’d certainly choose them over LG (“Lotsa Googling”) and Mr. Judgemental Goody-One-Shoe there. And I’m still confused as to where the hell these guys are shopping…Are they in the Woolworth’s Five & Dime circa 1958?

Meanwhile, Gil, perhaps concerned about his job for the first time ever, calls a “meeting” during normal business hours, rather than the usual A.M. happy hour at PUB. In attendance: Coach “Ducky Shirt” Shaw and Bob “Still Fantasizing about Gail Martin” Kazinski. Interesting to note that Coach Kaz’s chest x-ray reveals he has no bones or internal organs.

So Coach Thorp has made the observation that two of his players do not suck as badly as the rest of the team. But it’s left up to us to what his fantastic theory is. Is it…

  •  to make his wide receivers co-QBs, forgetting they will be unlikely to be able to pass to themselves?
  • to leave town and make Jimmy Hughes and Grant Sanders the fall guys? 
  • or my best personal theory: Nothing. There was no additional conversation between the second and third panels. I look forward to four more horrible and boring losses, don’t you?


  1. What happened to LG Howard’s glasses tattoo? It looks like someone tried to rip it off of his face and it is dangling in space in front of his eyes. How can the poor guy see to Google like that?

    Comment by clem — November 11, 2007 @ 1:12 pm

  2. panel 1: extended

    LG: Like friends who will cut their leg off so the other friend can feel better and get into the Naval Academy?

    Ritter: I was thinking more like guys with tattoos of glasses on their faces.

    LG: I don’t know anyone like that.
    Ritter: me neither

    Comment by john b — November 11, 2007 @ 1:40 pm

  3. Coach Shaw is thinkin’ Arby’s!

    Comment by killebrew — November 11, 2007 @ 1:41 pm

  4. I think Coach Shaw’s shirt has a Scotty on it.

    LG Gourwitz is just jealous because Frankencully stood up to Powder and Mitch Revolta got over. If LG had stolen Powder’s little bro’s “iPOD”, he would have shit his pants at Powder’s accusation and reached in his pocket and gave it back.

    It looks like Kaz is stealing Elf Boy Boyd’s look. I see he has a torn off sleeve shirt and is showing off his Pamela Anderson “Barbwire” tattoo. Kaz, the eighties called. They want their shirt and their tattoo back.

    Comment by Regina — November 11, 2007 @ 4:01 pm

  5. Halfway thru the season, Gil is changing the offense to the wing-T.
    I actually call it the veer. Lincoln-Way in my area ran it very
    well. It involves 4 possible ball-carriers, the QB, 2 wing-backs,
    and a fullback. When run properly and with talented players, it
    is very hard for the defense (or the fans) to know who has the ball.
    The wingbacks line up at an angle behind the QB and the FB is facing
    the LOS. Gils diagram however calls for 2 TE’s, rather then
    Lincoln-Ways version which didnt always have a fullback and
    enployed 2 wideouts to keep the defense honest for the pass.
    They would also send 1 of the WB’s in motion, then pitch or hand him
    the ball as he was going by, giving him the advantage of a running
    start. Its really a fun offense to watch. The 4 backs all must act
    like they have the ball every play, as the defense cannot key on any
    1 player.

    That being said, on 9-22 Gil said “You cant run when the defense
    knows you cant pass.” I guess he’s going to try. At least he’s putting
    the ball in his best athletes hands. And we will see how fast Jimmy
    Hughes can master this offense that should be practiced for 2 months
    before using it in a game.
    commited to the run, however. On 9-22, Gil said “

    Comment by rob — November 11, 2007 @ 6:54 pm

  6. I think LG Howard and Hopalong Ritter are shopping at the file-folder store. FILE-FOLDER STORE, it says on the front window. It’s almost as exciting at the floor-tile store the Taurus Gang was in a few days ago. Typical teenagers with typical interests, that’s for sure.

    Okay, so it’s mid-November and they’ve got four games left in the regular season? (Followed by the “playdowns,” at least for the teams that don’t SUCK.) Something is seriously out of whack with the space-time continuum in Milford. Or with Neal Rubin’s pacing, one of the two. My vote’s on Neal.

    And I’m all right with Kaz’ tribute to Barb Wire as long as it ends with the tattoo and doesn’t continue with, say, skintight leather and really, really big implants.

    Comment by johnw — November 11, 2007 @ 7:13 pm

  7. I’m just glad to see Kaz’s tattoo. It’s been a long time since he wore short enough sleeves to expose it. And speaking of tattoos, why is LG Howard Gourwitz wearing glasses today? He usually just draws them on. Maybe he’s wearing his fake nose and glasses again.

    Comment by Cash — November 12, 2007 @ 6:22 am

  8. #3 killebrew LOL !!!!

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — November 12, 2007 @ 6:50 am

  9. Call me crazy, but I think Kaz is wearing a “Kaz” face mask– there is no way that is is his real face. Come to think of it, Gil looks weird, too. Maybe Gil is wearing the “Kaz” mask (and rub-on tattoo) and Kaz is wearing the “Gil” mask?

    When was the last time you saw an old lady wearing glasses on a chain? I live in a small town in North Carolina and even the librarians here don’t wear those.

    Comment by Laura Jane — November 12, 2007 @ 7:50 am

  10. Good point re: the masks, Laura Jane. That goes for Coach “Scottie-Shirt” Shaw too.

    What the hell is going on here?

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — November 12, 2007 @ 9:04 am

  11. Monday: Check out the octogenarian in panel 2. Is he the football version of Clambake?

    “Goody One-Shoe.” Well played, Jason.

    Comment by Sourbelly — November 12, 2007 @ 9:51 am

  12. Apparently Coach Shaw is a big enough fan of Sirius Radio to buy some of their merchandise, including the spiffy tee shown here.

    Comment by PRiverside — November 12, 2007 @ 10:12 am

  13. […] Have you killed so many brain cells with Johnnie Walker that you can’t remember Gil trotting out the Wing-T in 2007, also late in the season? (Hint: It was right after you called out Cully Vale as […]

    Pingback by Gil’s Intrigued: The Rest of Us Are Bored | This Week in Milford — December 5, 2020 @ 5:39 pm

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