This Week in Milford

December 9, 2007

Between a Rock and a Dumb Place

Filed under: Gil Thorp, Just plain sad, Marty Moon — jasbeattie @ 11:59 pm


Panel 1 sponsored by: Pimp-tastic Coat Warehouse: “For when you want to look your pimp-tastic-est, but you don’t want to pay full pimp price!”
Sadly, Marty’s shock at the beginning of this game has been replaced by sobriety.

Panel 2 sponsored by Awkward High Five Quarterly: “An Extremely Pointless Magazine!” So, uh, Tony Casey actually had the choice to make good passes? Did he just choose not to up to this point? That makes no…ah forget it, I give up.

Panel 3 sponsored by “Also Advertising in Jason’s Bad Comics! So Bill asks Cully on a date, huh? The prospect of their potential offspring’s hair frightens me. But not as much as this did…


So before, when Franken-Cully was hanging around criminals, Bill was all judgemental towards him. But now, when he’s looking for an accomplice to his late night retaliatory prank, who does he turn to? Not boring L.G. Howard Gourwitz, that’s for sure. Really I think he’s just looking for a big hunky dope to carry him away in his hulk arms…Bill’s been missing that in his life ever since former boy toy Stormy ran off to join the Navy.

Props to panel two for its out-of-the-ordinary style. Maybe Frank just drew a copy of his Christmas card, but I think it’s kinda quaint. Though is the car driving through a blizzzard and about to plow into a wall? And is there always a full moon in Milford? (That might explain a lot, actually…)

Gil doesn’t seem to be commanding much respect from his students lately, does he? First Cully disobeys his direct orders to kill Marty Moon, and now this! Fortunately for Bill and Cully, they can just lie about their involvement with this prank (and their trip to make-out point afterwards). Because as we know, Gil approves of anyone lying about anything, so long as it doesn’t cut into his valuable PUB time.



  1. Is Cully ready to climb into the dimensionless hell-mobile with a one-legged driver? Reckon so. Notice how narrow the apparaent one-seater is. Notice too how the right-side front window frame becomes the left-side back window frame. By panel two, the intriguing non-car is hovering down stone-wall highway in search of mischief and Valley Tech’s “spirit rock”. Creepy, I tells ya, just creepy.

    Comment by Sgt. Saunders — December 10, 2007 @ 1:41 am

  2. Cully is ready. He hasn’t spoken for days, and his haunting lack-of-eyes show that he is at last fit to serve the his vile new master, the one-legless Charon of the Mystery Snow Ur-Car, ferrying vandal souls between individual sections of hell (a.k.a., high schools), and — aw never mind, I can’t even keep this snarky metaphorical rant, or snarkmetarant, or metarantsnark, or rantysmettararnk …

    Comment by Rooty-Toot-Toot — December 10, 2007 @ 6:10 am

  3. Valley Tech’s spirit rock is sort of lame; maybe they’ve not had it very long, since it doesn’t have much painted on it. You’d think it would be totally covered with “spirit.” Or maybe they put in a new rock every year. Cully and Bill will probably deface it by Xing out #1 and putting in #2. “Honest, Coach Thorp, we didn’t vandalize. We were only setting them straight.” Although panel 2 is pretty, I think he started to draw a car on the road, couldn’t pull it off and turned it into a brick wall.

    Comment by JanB — December 10, 2007 @ 6:23 am

  4. I was thinking they probably wash off the ol’ rock before each new school year. Even so, it’s mid-December and there’s only 3 things written on it. Although if the strip was on schedule, it would be mid-November, but still, 3 things? That’s weak sauce.

    By the way, why is everyone’s face covered in crap in 12/8’s strip? And what the hell is that supposed to be? Mud doesn’t seem very likely, given how cold the game was. Is it frozen dirt that magically stuck to everyone’s face?

    Comment by Cash — December 10, 2007 @ 6:35 am

  5. Looks like leeches to me. Possibly cockroaches.

    Yes the Spirit Rock is pretty dispiriting. We’ve got “Class of ____” with the year in question heading into the bushes almost as if they didn’t want to be recognized. Then we have “V.T. #!” which I believe should have been “V.T. #!@&$&” but Amos, the fat security guard, came by just then and the painter had to cut his/her message short.

    Finally we have the mysterious “__ULE.” Provided that the author wasn’t just a poor speller and meant to write “Amos is a TULE,” there are three possibilities: schedule, rule, or mule. I like to think the missing word is “MULE.”

    Comment by Laura Jane — December 10, 2007 @ 7:59 am

  6. I think the dull eyed look on Marty’s face is from too much Hennessy and too much pimpin’.


    It wasn’t bad enough when Elf Boyd and Mitch Revolta were using Cullystein for their nefarious acts, now one legged Bill Ritter has to get into the act. What’s next for these two (besides making out at Inspiration Point)?

    Comment by Regina — December 10, 2007 @ 8:03 am

  7. Finally we have the mysterious “__ULE.” Provided that the author wasn’t just a poor speller and meant to write “Amos is a TULE,” there are three possibilities: schedule, rule, or mule. I like to think the missing word is “MULE.”

    Or maybe Go Back To Ultima Thule?

    Comment by Scott de B. — December 10, 2007 @ 8:51 am

  8. Hey, I thought Cully was going to be a good boy after Gil tricked him into not murdering Marty Moon.

    12/8: Pegleg asking Cully out on a date with that roll of toilet paper behind him is really quite disturbing.

    Comment by sourbelly — December 10, 2007 @ 8:51 am

  9. RE: #5 & #7:
    What it really says is “MORE ZIPPERS, MULE” a shoutout to Margo from Apt. 3G.

    Comment by johnwhorfin — December 10, 2007 @ 10:36 am

  10. _ULE is SKULE. As in “school.” In other news, the Valley Tech English department is sadly understaffed.

    Comment by El Santo — December 10, 2007 @ 11:37 am

  11. The best we can hope for is that Hopalong and Cully will be interrupted in their nocturnal artistry, either by a fat security guard, an illegal-immigrant night janitor, or (preferably) Rob Riggle and his crew stepping out from behind the shrubbery after a relaxing outdoor pee. As the confrontation escalates, Cully flies into a Hulkian rage and kills somebody with his dreaded finishing move, the fallaway slam.

    That’s the best we can hope for. What we’ll actually get is something really anticlimactic that mostly happens offscreen. Is it basketball season yet?

    Comment by johnw — December 10, 2007 @ 11:59 am

  12. Poor Cullystein. The only time anyone has anything to do with him is when they’re up to no good.
    Is he wearing a sign or what? “I’m no killer, but I’ll do just about anything else!”

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — December 10, 2007 @ 12:42 pm

  13. Sorry, the sign should say “I’m no killer (except that once), but I’ll do just about anything else!”

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — December 10, 2007 @ 12:43 pm

  14. Why is it winter in Milford but summer at Valley Tech? That is clearly grass at the base of the VT spirit rock! Who writes this, Ed Wood?

    Comment by Richard — December 10, 2007 @ 12:54 pm

  15. _ULE? I think it’s PULE… “to cry in a thin voice; whine; whimper”

    Who here will try to prove me wrong?

    Comment by TCM — December 10, 2007 @ 1:40 pm

  16. No, no, remember the season. It’s “Have a Joyous YULE.”

    Comment by sourbelly — December 10, 2007 @ 3:14 pm

  17. You have to be careful when painting when it’s really cold out. When the paint freezes faster than it dries, it thaws and runs when the sun hits it. I know this from personal experience, having painted the Fence at Carnegie Mellon several times in the dead of winter.

    Comment by Wikitorix — December 10, 2007 @ 4:31 pm

  18. Yep but remember it’s Summer there at Valley Tech — no worries. Why they would paint “Have a Joyous YULE” on their rock in the middle of Summer shows the level of their intelligence.

    They deserve to get beaten by a sucky team via the (sorry guys) WING-T !!

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — December 10, 2007 @ 4:49 pm

  19. I think it’s ‘rule’ as in ‘(our nickname)’s rule’. My school would say
    ‘Spartans rule’ for instance. I’m sure the rock’s surroundings are kept
    reasonably clean, explaining the grass nearby. Game starts tommorow? No way.

    Comment by RobM — December 10, 2007 @ 7:02 pm

  20. I think it’s ‘rule’ as in ‘(our nickname)’s rule’. My school would say
    ‘Spartans rule’ for instance.

    No, that can’t be it.

    How about “Remember the Golden Ferrule”?

    Comment by Scott de B. — December 10, 2007 @ 8:16 pm

  21. Bill doesn’t think of this as vandalism. He thinks he’s genuinely doing the Valley Tech team favor, because their spirit rock really would look better in different colors.

    Comment by Reynard Noir — December 10, 2007 @ 9:25 pm

  22. That sure is one big-ass rock, though.

    Comment by Sgt. Saunders — December 11, 2007 @ 2:27 am

  23. I think it’s meant to be “ULE BE SORRY” (see #10 above).

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — December 11, 2007 @ 9:34 am

  24. Nobody’s mentioned that “pimpin’ playa” Marty Moon from panel one is recycled from 12/06/07’s second panel.

    Comment by Regina — December 11, 2007 @ 11:14 am

  25. “The Fence” you say, Wikitorix? Sounds like CMU has some downright Milfordian traditions, as in “all but forcing Wikitorix to paint The Fence.”

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — December 11, 2007 @ 11:23 am

  26. The Fence is an old rail fence in the center of campus. Several decades ago, students turned it into an informal gathering area, and they painted the fence. Some rules have sprung up about the Fence, (like, you can only paint it between midnight and dawn). Anyway, the Fence has been painted a couple hundred times a year for the better part of a century. It’s in the Guinness Book of World Records as the most painted object in the world. I’ve linked to a picture with a more detailed explanation.

    Comment by Wikitorix — December 11, 2007 @ 1:57 pm

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