This Week in Milford

April 24, 2008

KAZ-BOT has a posse

Filed under: google nonsense, kaz-bot — jasbeattie @ 8:30 am

Jason has left the safe confines of the blog-o-sphere for a few days. In his absence the recently paroled automatic Gil Thorp blogging robot KAZ-BOT will be filling in! 

KAZ-BOT just googled “KAZ-BOT” and discovered there are eerily other KAZ-BOTs out there. Including MySpace KAZ-BOT and reading KAZ-BOT. At least all KAZ-BOTs share similar interests, such as beer, global conflict and track jackets.



  1. Has Chief Whigham ever SEEN softball? Judging from today’s installment, not bloody likely. The three players in panel 1 appear to be in slightly different time-streams. For the pitcher, time stopped just after she released the ball (and, oddly, closed her fist). The hitter has completed an exaggerated swing in a tiny fraction of a second; for her, time sped up. The catcher is somewhere in between. AND THERE’S NO UMPIRE!!!

    In panel 2, the third baseman is trying to catch the ball with her eyes closed, and even better, propelling her face directly into the ball’s flight path. Fractured eye socket coming up in .001 of a second.

    And as for Zollar’s sliding technique, the less said the better. I will admit that David Ortiz sometimes slides like that, but not a lithe multi-sport athlete like Zollar.

    I do like the webbing on her left hand, though.

    Comment by johnw — April 24, 2008 @ 8:42 am

  2. If #11 is Lisa who is supposed to be pitching, is her hand on backwards or does she have a special super backhand pitch?

    Comment by Elmo — April 24, 2008 @ 8:44 am

  3. For a lithe, leggy young lass, Lisa sure has a manly forearm. And it looks like the batter is batting left-handed while standing on the wrong side of the plate. Among other issues.

    Comment by sourbelly — April 24, 2008 @ 8:47 am

  4. Whigham’s depiction of the swing here (and Elmer Vargas last week) leads me to believe that he watched some Bugs Bunny cartoons to study up on the mechanics of baseball/softball. Note: the batter’s whole body does not rotate 180 degrees during the swing (nor does a particularly powerful batter literally screw him/herself into the ground).

    I know what he’s trying to show, but yeah, it is a challenge to try and show everything in one panel.

    As far as Panel 2 goes, perhaps it would be more logical to just show a glove coming into the panel from the right, unable to get to the line drive. Are the Bingingham players coached to knock down line drives with their heads? The 3B player here does have Brooks Robinson range though (unless they were employing the Branden Zollar Shift and she was guarding the line – then maybe she just tripped and fell right into the path of the ball.)

    I’ll admit total ignorance about what kind of equipment is used in softball, but those spikes look way too nasty to be believable. The catcher probably totally cleared out of the way to make room for Branden “Ty Cobb” Zollar.

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — April 24, 2008 @ 9:17 am

  5. Chief definitely has not been to a softball game lately. In panel one we have a batter standing in the batter’s box backwards. Maybe that’s why she whiffed? (the fact that she has no eyes could be the problem also). Then in panel two we have the fielder at third base wearing a super-sized oven mitt. Its a wonder she couldn’t snag that line drive.

    Comment by kenzo — April 24, 2008 @ 9:18 am

  6. I agree Ned. Those spikes look more like an annaconda going for a chomp rather than a pair of softball cleats.

    Comment by kenzo — April 24, 2008 @ 9:19 am

  7. I guess it helps when the opposing team is batting with a toy canoe paddle.

    I cannot figure out the motion lines in panel 1. Judging by Lisa’s position, she has just completed a front flip while ejecting the ball.

    Flipper man in panel 3 looks a passerby who’s been scared shitless by an exploding moon-faced figure.

    Comment by julienne — April 24, 2008 @ 9:21 am

  8. Not only are those hideously-terrifying spikes Branden’s wearing, but she’s about to dig
    them into her hand.

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — April 24, 2008 @ 9:35 am

  9. Yeow… those spikes! Looks like Branden is all set for the post-game log rolling party.

    Comment by treebuck — April 24, 2008 @ 10:11 am

  10. I think Panel 1 calls for what is known as “suspension of disbelief.”

    Comment by laura — April 24, 2008 @ 10:27 am

  11. It looks like massive head trauma third-baseman is the same girl who who can’t manage to stand in the right batter’s box, but got a haircut between the embarrassing batting performance and the embarrassing fielding performance. Or maybe everybody on the team wears the number 3.

    Comment by Wikitorix — April 24, 2008 @ 10:44 am

  12. there’s so much wrong with today’s strip that I can’t decide where to start. I think my eyes need a break…

    Comment by Mooch — April 24, 2008 @ 12:20 pm

  13. I have nothing new to add, but yeah, that fielder in panel 2 is abuot to need some reconstructive surgery stat.

    Comment by Emptyeye — April 24, 2008 @ 1:06 pm

  14. Hey, but at least everything is spelled correctly today!

    Comment by JJ — April 24, 2008 @ 2:59 pm

  15. Keep today’s strip away from epileptics!

    Comment by Striker — April 24, 2008 @ 3:55 pm

  16. My main problem is the short distance from Wyche to the batter – it looks like about 2 feet. No wonder the batter has no chance. I just called
    for a Lisa Wyche appearance the other day. Presto. Next I will call
    for Andrew to disappear for good. Good luck with that one, Rob.
    And the lack of an umpire means all pitches are fair game, but really,
    what a glaring omission.

    Comment by RobM — April 24, 2008 @ 4:48 pm

  17. On the plus side, the writer managed to capture the excitement known as fast pitch softball.

    Comment by bevo — April 24, 2008 @ 7:36 pm

  18. Friday:

    Why isn’t Vargas wearing a helmet?

    Comment by Ennui Willie Keeler — April 24, 2008 @ 9:10 pm

  19. Panel-by–panel analysis”

    1. Dear Lord, these uniforms look like those awful Major League Baseball uniforms from the seventies! And the panel looks as if it’s been drawn by Salvador Dali. Has Whigham ever even seen a softball game. And don’t girls softball players wear visors, not caps?

    2. The ball looks as if it’s about to bop the third baseperson in the head. And softballs have stiches, y’know.

    3. If that’s supposed to be a shot of Branden (unisex name) Zoller sliding into home, why is home plate elevated? And where the fark is the catcher?

    Comment by Doug Puthoff — April 25, 2008 @ 6:31 am

  20. KAZ-BOT has too. Too.. Too Much Posse! Shout out to Chuck D and Flava Flav for the help there. Oh, Terminator and Griff and the S1Ws as well.

    Comment by Skeltometer — April 25, 2008 @ 7:04 am

  21. I offer three explanations for panel one: 1) the other team is from a school for the blind (just go up there and swing the bat in the general region of the plate, it doesn’t matter if the ball is coming behind you, we’re just here to have fun, right gang!) 2) the other team consists of players whose forearms can pass through their shoulders allowing them to continue their swing behind their backs, 3) artist abuse of ketamine.

    Yazoo Creesto, new artist, I dont think you need to know that much about baseball to figure out that people swing in front their bodies.

    Comment by Joel — April 25, 2008 @ 7:39 am

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