This Week in Milford

May 16, 2008

Chancho, When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants.

Filed under: baseball, Gil Thorp, Marty Moon, Milford Weirdos — jasbeattie @ 9:33 am

Gil receives the bad news that his left fielder, and competition for the English teacher’s affections, is not going anywhere. It’s apparent he wasn’t expecting this, as Gil made the conscious decision to wear his sexy date clothes today, instead of, you know…coach clothes. At least I don’t think “skin-tight black shirt and ass-hugging slacks” is normally what a high school coach wears to a game. In fact, I’d wager Gil didn’t even realize there was a game this afternoon…Having spiffed himself up, and fresh with several clever “Paradise Found” double entendres in his pocket, he was on his way over to put the moves on Christina Fifield. But on his way, he stupidly walked by the Oakwood baseball diamond and got caught…( “Oh crap…we’re playing again? Double crap…they saw me! Eh dammit. I guess I better go over there and pretend to stretch. Sigh…”)

I like how Whigham has continued the tradition of “Marty Moon panels with weirdos in the background.” Today’s background weirdo: Some guy who wore his jammies to the game and just woke up when Marty started screaming about something. I look forward to the day when Whigham’s background weirdos start getting sex changes between games.

Shockingly, Gil is still around in the seventh inning of this game. Gasless Andrew Gregory has completely worn down the mound, and is visibly upset about it. Understandably so, as it’ll now take him $72 to fill up his tank again.


  1. Elmer’s clueless happytalk is almost as repetitive and annoying as the current Peter/MJ conflict in “Spider-Man.” Peter’s got the flu; MJ tells him to stay in bed; Peter insists he has to go fight the Vulture. Rinse, repeat.

    Okay, we get it; Elmer thinks he’s home free. So sometime soon, the Men In Black are going to swoop in and take him away. Perhaps before the next pitch: “Hughes delivers… and it’s a fly ball to left… hey, wait a minute! Where did Elmer Vargas go?”

    Comment by johnw — May 16, 2008 @ 9:49 am

  2. Boy oh boy, Gil’s so excited about gettin’ it on with Ms. Fifield that he can’t help “enjoying” himself on the pitchers mound with one hand deep in his pocket, while he gives Andrew a shot of adrenaline in the arm with his (Gil’s) other.

    Comment by Striker — May 16, 2008 @ 9:55 am

  3. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any pregame stretching in Gil Thorp before today, but it might also be that Gil and Elmer are sliding down some grassy incline on their butts. Weeeeee! (Maybe they both have worms and they’re using the patented doggie ass drag method of scratching.)

    Sleepyhead spectator is wearing a shirt from the Ted Pearce collection, while Marty looks on, trippin’ balls.

    What is going on in Panel 3? Does Gil have a hand or is he fishing for something in his pocket? Or….and I’ll just come right out and say this….did Gil just make a trip to the mound while sporting wood?

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — May 16, 2008 @ 10:04 am

  4. In panel one, there’s an amputated foot behind Elmer. Are Gil and Elmer, doing sit-ups, yoga positions or just acting plain weird? I’ll opt for number three.

    The two weirdos behind Marty Moon are commenting about Marty’s shiteous haircut. (Not that pajama guy should talk.)

    In panel three,the aliens have left a crop circle.

    When Gil states Andrew’s out of gas, I think he’s talking about all the wind he’s been passing throughout the game.

    Comment by Regina — May 16, 2008 @ 10:06 am

  5. Ned, Gil just saw Christine FiField in the stands and he’s uh…adjusting his “package”.

    Comment by Regina — May 16, 2008 @ 10:08 am

  6. Kee-ripes! Gil’s really digging for gold in panel three. Maybe he’s got that Mike Ditka Restless Cock Syndrome that plagued him on the sideline in his later years.

    Comment by sourbelly — May 16, 2008 @ 10:09 am

  7. Gil uses a unique signal to “get the rightie up in the bullpen”.

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — May 16, 2008 @ 10:14 am

  8. I like the way Marty’s microphone is buried deep inside his beard. Good thing no one’s
    listening anyway.

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — May 16, 2008 @ 10:14 am

  9. I am so glad y’all beat me to the “Gil playing pocket pool” observation, since I sometimes feel alone in my crotch obsession. To continue, I admire Elmer’s snappy black string speedo in panel 1, and am concerned that Andrew’s adult diaper is chafing a bit in panel 3.

    As for panel 2, nothing says “sports action” like looking up someone’s nostrils.

    Comment by julienne — May 16, 2008 @ 10:35 am

  10. “Worn down the mound” seems like it should be some kind of double-entendre.

    Comment by Paco — May 16, 2008 @ 10:36 am

  11. You’re never alone, Julienne…


    Comment by Striker — May 16, 2008 @ 10:36 am

  12. I could’ve done without that view of the inside of Marty Moon’s nose.

    And Regina beat me to the crop-circle comment! That is the biggest damn pitcher’s mound I’ve ever seen. Gil and Gasless Andy and possibly-Tyler look like the Lollipop Guild.

    Comment by jules — May 16, 2008 @ 10:46 am

  13. I was going to say –

    I can define a circle and I’ve met jerks. Does this have anything to do with panel 1?

    However, I read the comments before posting and I’d just be wasting our obviously precious time.

    Comment by dale — May 16, 2008 @ 12:03 pm

  14. The announcer bears a startling resemblance to Mirror Spock.

    Comment by Paul Arrand Rodgers — May 16, 2008 @ 9:22 pm

  15. Comix X-Over: Is Polka-dot Ascot Man dating Mary Worth?

    Comment by Striker — May 17, 2008 @ 4:05 am

  16. Well, yes, someone sitting on his behind in the grass probably isn’t going anywhere.

    Comment by Smokey Stover — May 18, 2008 @ 7:44 pm

  17. That’s not Mirror Spock–it’s wealthy genius industrialist Tony Stark!

    Comment by pq — May 19, 2008 @ 7:12 am

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