This Week in Milford

June 4, 2008

If only they’d erase my mind of this too.

Filed under: bizarre cameos, Gil Thorp — jasbeattie @ 9:24 am

Panel 1 Translation:
Mr. Vargas: My severe procrastination of my family’s immigration issues and overall crappy parenting skills are getting my son deported. I guess I ought to look sad now.

Panel 2 Translation:
Gil: I’m sure glad that kid is getting deported. Now Christina Fifield will be ALL MINE!
Mr. Vargas: Hmmm…I could have started figuring this out fifteen years ago. But now I have fifteen minutes. What would Marty Moon do? Well, there’s enough time to hang myself in my office I guess.

Panel 3 Translation:
Man in Black: We’ve gotten some reports of a chinless mullet alien from Rigel 7 loose in this house, ma’am.
Giant Mrs. Vargas: You mean Elmer? He’s in his room.
Man in Black: Thanks ma’am. Now if you could, please look directly into this flashing light…


  1. Man, what a bunch of clueless, helpless, careless adults! Elmer is a minor whose error in judgment might LAND HIM IN THE SLAMMER FOR TEN YEARS and there’s nothing the responsible adults can do? C’mon, is this some sort of Dr. Spock Permissiveness Run Wild alternate universe?

    If the kid was shooting heroin, would the adults be standing around wringing their hands, wishing he would stop? Yeesh. Pack him on a plane and send him to his uncle’s house in Tijuana, for God’s sake.

    Unless, of course, Gil is secretly plotting to keep his star hitter in the lineup through the playdowns. After all, if Elmer goes off to prison after graduation, it’s no skin off Gil’s nose.

    Comment by johnw — June 4, 2008 @ 9:34 am

  2. Maybe Gil knows some major league scouts who can “discover” Elmer Vargas, non-Spanish speaking, Mexican baseball phenom and have him drafted shortly after he returns to Mexico. Major league teams should be adept at dealing with all sorts of immigration difficulties, either legally or quasi-legally. It’s an overly simplistic and not very logical solution, but that’s Gil Thorp for ya.

    Those agents (INS? ATF? X-FILES? MIB? Repo Men? Poultry Inspectors?) are cracking me up. Why are they wearing those novelty 80s shades with the blinking LEDs (as seen on Fab 5 Freddy in Blondie’s classic Rapture video)?

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — June 4, 2008 @ 10:13 am

  3. “Why are they wearing those novelty 80s shades with the blinking LEDs (as seen on Fab 5 Freddy in Blondie’s classic Rapture video)?”

    Zany Zappers! I still have mine.

    Comment by AirForbes — June 4, 2008 @ 10:28 am

  4. The Will Smith-type guy is probably black, right? Why is there a white guy in the photo on his ID?

    Comment by Striker — June 4, 2008 @ 10:42 am

  5. I just thought of something. Do you think Chief Whigham is making a sly reference to the movie Men in Black because the Vargas family are aliens, just like in the movie? Nah.

    Anyway, back to Gil. In the panel we don’t see, Gil congratulates Senor Vargas in being less involved than he could ever be, just by the sheer fact he never bothered to take care of his residency problem and figured it would go away, just like Gil hopes everything else goes away.

    Comment by Regina — June 4, 2008 @ 10:54 am

  6. WWMMD? (What Would Marty Moon Do?) He would go put on his pimptastic coat, get out his bottle of Hennesy and party with his ho’s Senor Vargas. When in doubt, PARRRTAY LIKE YOU’RE MARTY MOON! (Or Marty Poon.)

    Comment by Regina — June 4, 2008 @ 10:56 am

  7. Regina, I had the same thought about Ralph Whigham and then just as quickly dismissed it.

    The longer this drags out, the more confusing it gets and the less I care.

    Comment by sourbelly — June 4, 2008 @ 10:59 am

  8. MIB #2 looks like a member of the Velvet Underground. Sterling Morrison? That you?

    Comment by John Mark — June 4, 2008 @ 12:00 pm

  9. I love that over-the-top serious scowl on MIB #1’s face.

    “Just the facts, Ma’am.”

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — June 4, 2008 @ 12:24 pm

  10. Holy crap. The Men In Black look almost exactly like Agent J (Will Smith) and Agent L (Linda Fiorentino) from the movie.

    You know what would be hilarious? The MiB take Elmer, then for the rest of Gil Thorp, no one even remember he existed.

    That would be par for the course, actually.

    Comment by El Santo — June 4, 2008 @ 12:28 pm

  11. I’d like to see the panel between 2 and 3 where Gil’s all “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! We?? Hey, I think I hear someone calling me…I’m double parked…I think I left the stove on…Adios.”

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — June 4, 2008 @ 12:30 pm

  12. Isn’t that Hank the Hallucination on the roof in panel three?

    Comment by Richard — June 4, 2008 @ 12:52 pm

  13. Wait… Wasn’t Elmer’s dad opposed to Elmer leaving the country a few weeks ago?

    Comment by Wikitorix — June 4, 2008 @ 12:53 pm

  14. Why are FBI, Homeland Security etc. agents always one man and one woman? Is this part of the heterosexual agenda? And why does the man always get to ring the doorbell first?

    Comment by laura — June 4, 2008 @ 1:27 pm

  15. #8 sourbelly… are you trying to tell us that at one point earlier in the storyline you cared…somewhat, anyway?

    Comment by Wing T Nut — June 4, 2008 @ 2:56 pm

  16. I believe Tommy Lee Jones now has a Prince Valiant haircut.

    Comment by Doug Puthoff — June 4, 2008 @ 7:07 pm

  17. At first glance, I thought it was Jake & Elwood at the front door.

    Comment by JJ — June 4, 2008 @ 7:28 pm

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