This Week in Milford

December 28, 2008

In my own happy holidaze…

Sorry for delaying to the point of posting five strips at once it’s just…oh wait, it’s that time of year I don’t have to make excuses. On to the comics!


As Milford’s season gets underway, the North Carroll Panthers are playing their ninth (top-secret-not-on-their-schedule) game of the season! Apparently Brenda can jump ten feet in the air which impresses Dylan and his melty chinbeard.


On the actual day of Christmas, Gil Thorp gave to me:

Eight freak hands flapping
Seven plotlines dangling
Six balls a’  floatin’
Five ancillary characters
Four hidden Nutboys
Three Taco Bell menus
Two Star Trek Captains
and Skippy the angry janitor!


So that’s what happened to Ed Asner and Stacy Keach…they retired to Milford, where they don casual sweaters to basketball games, then make up interesting stories about boring local high school students.


Bryce Larkin suffers a seizure due to the excitement of this comic.


Brenda’s newly sculpted hair strand o’ death attracts local media attention, and even causes some students to poke out their eyes using their own finger stubs. Meanwhile, we learn that the county sherriffs carry around a recording of that Law & Order sound so that they can feel cool by playing it right before they interview somebody.



  1. 12/29 panel 3
    sheriffs? Normally, a county has only one sheriff. Everybody else is a deputy.

    Who is the guy? Dylan just confirming that he knows his name or somebody else being asked about Dylan?

    Comment by dale — December 28, 2008 @ 11:45 pm

  2. Happy Holidays, Jason. I rarely post anymore, but I’ll still come by and lurk once a week or so. The Elmer story bored me and I already forgot what happened during the football season. This plot does seem to be more interesting. I think the rich kid held up Convenience Store.

    Comment by Ennui Willie Keeler — December 29, 2008 @ 4:49 am

  3. Welcome back Jason, ya slacker! Just kidding, you’re entitled.

    Don’t worry, we didn’t miss much…I think you summed it up pretty well.

    I was just mad that we didn’t get the usual freaky,scary Christmas greeting from the Thorps and their gruesome looking kids that they hide away all year. I’m glad that Skippy, the angry janitor made the cut this year. Is that supposed to be Kaz? Coulda fooled me.

    Question: When did Bryce turn black? But then, these two are undetermined ethinicity…they are so freaky, I don’t think they’re any race. I’m not even sure they’re part o the human race! Bryce is doing his best Fred Sanford imitation.

    Brenda, I’d be worried when a guy asks you “to the bucket”.

    I think that’s Gil in the last panel with Stacy Keach and Ed Asner. (Note the giant flask.) Hahahaha, Ed Anser pwned Gil by telling him none of your f$%king business, Flattop!

    Comment by Regina — December 29, 2008 @ 5:02 am

  4. I realize that Milford is supposed to be a quiet little town, but really… the cops have so little to do that they can spend days and days hanging around the high school fabricating conspiracy theories over a convenience store holdup?

    Lovely Xmas Day tableau, nice to see the Mudlark Gang getting together to sing Holiday Songs (no Christmas Carols here; the public schools are full of foot soldiers in the War on Christmas). But it’s a further demotion of the Thorpian Spawn; the kids used to get Christmas to themselves. Now they’re just filler material. And, of course, Marty Moon is nowhere to be seen. He’s busy with his traditional holiday celebration: getting hammered on cheap vodka.

    Lots of “art” I could comment about, but I’ll stick to one point: that portrayal of Marjie Ducey on 12/29 is the stuff of nightmares. What…species…IS…that?

    Comment by johnw — December 29, 2008 @ 6:22 am

  5. I’m pretty sure Marty Moon is the guy on the far right in the Christmas panel.

    Comment by Scott de B. — December 29, 2008 @ 8:21 am

  6. I prefer to think that he’s Evil Captain Gil from the mirror universe.

    Comment by Mac Thomason — December 29, 2008 @ 8:35 am

  7. The tableau- johnw===> Is not that the Martster in the far right hand side? Beard, turtleneck.. and yet he’s always peeing on our favorite Gildo so I don’t know how he can be classified as a ‘friend.’ Whazzup wit dat Neil? I was led to believe Prep Spotlight was aired because the two management losers at the community access Moon basement station took exception to Marty’s on-air antics. Now he’s bringing us tidings of comfort and joy? I think not!!!

    Comment by SemperFi4evr — December 29, 2008 @ 8:36 am

  8. Merry Christmas panel: What’s with Gil’s salute (assuming that’s Gil’s arm–one never knows in this strip)? It’s not quite a Nazi thing. I guess it’s sort of an anti- “live long and prosper” gesture. Nice.

    Comment by Sourbelly — December 29, 2008 @ 9:54 am

  9. I think the guy on the far right of the Xmas — er, holiday — tableau is the assistant coach with the beard.

    Comment by johnw — December 29, 2008 @ 10:03 am

  10. Whew! Marty just managed to squeeze into the edge of the Merry Christmas Panel. Haven’t seen him since 6-9 Jeff and his pal Hatt took over the cable-access TV show. We miss you and your crazy drunken antics, Marty!

    I wish I knew how to spell that Law & Order noise. Awesome! These guys are no Benson & Stabler, though. That light fixture is WAY too high for them to give Gil a proper third degree.

    Comment by Alex — December 29, 2008 @ 10:09 am

  11. Whew! Marty just managed to squeeze into the edge of the Merry Christmas Panel. Haven’t seen him since 6-9 Jeff and his pal Hatt took over the cable-access TV show. We miss you and your crazy drunken antics, Marty!

    I wish I knew how to spell that Law & Order noise. Awesome! These guys are no Benson & Stabler, though. That light fixture is WAY too high for them to give Gil a proper third degree.

    Comment by jules — December 29, 2008 @ 10:09 am

  12. (Sorry, guys – forgot I’m on a borrowed computer here. 10 and 11 are both me. Merry Chrishmash!)

    Comment by jules — December 29, 2008 @ 10:10 am

  13. Margie, the Star reporter, gives a whole new meaning to the term “four-eyes”, by wearing her glasses on her FORE-head – hee hee (sorry). It’s the holidaze (love it, Jason).

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — December 29, 2008 @ 12:56 pm

  14. I agree, the guy on the far right is the assistant coach. Next to him is probably a younger version of Principal Dr. Hairbun.

    Comment by dale — December 29, 2008 @ 1:41 pm

  15. I too would like to know how to spell “The Law and Order Noise”. Here’s a debate about it. Chung-Chung? No way! I’ll bet the Milford PD, or Sheriff or whatever would have their own unique sound effect. Judging from the quality of their policework, it would probably be something like this.

    Notes on tableaux:
    -Woman on left edge of has a cloven hoof. If she’s with Kaz, then is that Kelly? We haven’t seen her since Punchfest 2007. (Watch out, Bob!)
    -I’ll bet Gil is wearing a dickie.
    -The Thorps’ son is creeping me out. I’m pretty sure they keep him chained in a crawlspace.

    Brenda Larkin is a fascinating character. She can jump really high so she’s going to be flooded with requests for trips to the bucket. Plus, she’s the kind of girl who can drop 19 points on you, then she’ll slip into some knee-high leather boots before heading home. She’s just got too much class for this down market dump.

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — December 29, 2008 @ 1:48 pm

  16. Yeah, I’m going with Coach Shaw for the Christmas panel as well. Full beard, comapred to Marty Moon’s goatee. And, yes, I think that is principal “bun-bob” from before. Only now without the bob and only the bun.

    Comment by James G — December 29, 2008 @ 2:01 pm

  17. No cloven hooves. The 2 females in front have some sort of strange glove that has separate compartments: one for for your thumb, one for your index finger, one for your other three fingers. Maybe it’s some kind of shooter’s glove. The guy on the far right wears no gloves, so he can display his five fingers ( thumb is hidden by sheet music for “Jingle Bells.”)

    Dylan’s idea of a hot babe – she has to look like mummified Egyptian. King.

    Comment by blondie — December 29, 2008 @ 3:07 pm

  18. I forgot to mention that Dylan looks like he’s in a Socialist Realism painting in Panel Three from Christmas Eve.

    Comment by Ennui Willie Keeler — December 29, 2008 @ 4:43 pm

  19. That is Marty in the Xmas picture. Marjie’s glasses are where they should be, and her hair is platinum. But the eyes need pupils.

    Brenda isnt jumping 10 feet; she’s already 6-1 or 6-2, and arm length is roughly half one’s height, so that makes 9’3″ wingspan, so she’s jumping all of 9 inches. Hardly superhuman.

    Whats with the tiny numbers in the left front corner of the jerseys? Good luck reading them from any distance. Put them in the middle, directly below the “M”. Put the “M” slightly higher then center. They always have these strange uniform ideas. Remember the chopsticks on the helmets?

    Comment by Rob — December 29, 2008 @ 7:31 pm

  20. Great call on the happy worker-player, Willie (#18). Has anybody notified Bukharin? Watching to see if Dylan produces his Young Pioneers ID when the cops talk to him about the Nutboys caper.

    Comment by vaganova — December 29, 2008 @ 8:16 pm

  21. Rob…are you using logic? I didn’t think that was allowed here…

    “Brenda isnt jumping 10 feet; she’s already 6-1 or 6-2, and arm length is roughly half one’s height, so that makes 9′3″ wingspan, so she’s jumping all of 9 inches. Hardly superhuman.”

    Comment by Wing T Nut — December 29, 2008 @ 9:34 pm

  22. What’s the deal with Brenda Larkin’s hair, and why doesn’t she tie it down (pony tail or whatever) when she’s playing?

    Comment by Bryan — December 30, 2008 @ 12:30 am

  23. I’m with the Coach Shaw camp. It makes sense that Gil would be spending time with his coworker instead of, you know, his mortal enemy.

    Comment by Lomion — December 30, 2008 @ 8:14 am

  24. Lomion, you do know that Gil’s not real, don’t you?

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — December 30, 2008 @ 8:45 am

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