This Week in Milford

December 21, 2009

Three half-man, half-dogs together in one strip!

12/19/09

Wow…what a shocker! Who knew Deion was a lesbian…er wait, I mean Valerie and Deion were identical twin sisters, only Valerie got a sex change? I can’t seem to put my thoughts into words, so as my stomach churns nauseously while reading this, I’ll just say it in pictures:

Apparently Barf has the last word on the football season, because…

12/21/09

…we’ve entered a time warp! In the past we would at least kinda  get a wrap up on the story lines AND be told that the sport o’ the season had ended with the Milford Mudlarks pathetically losing. But this time, out of the blue, all the old crap gets dropped, as we learn that basketball practice has been “rolling along,” with players in S&M outfits being clobbered by other players pausing in mid-air to receive accolades from Gil? WTF?

I originally wrote a long rant against Neal Rubin for his inability to tell interesting stories that started and finished in reasonable about of time. Then it dawned on me, if he’s not wasting time writing, why the hell should I? So moving forward, I will do better to mirror the strip…The crappiness of Gil Thorp will be met head on with my shorter (and I swear I’ll try) more frequent snark. Bring it on Neal. I mean, how much worse can you get?

18 Comments »

  1. That’s not supposed to be Bryce Larkin holding the basketball, is it? As I recall, Bryce was all mad at his parents for moving him to this tank town, and then some Nutboys got stolen, possibly by his sister’s boyfriend, except not really. Or something. Anyway: That’s not supposed to be Bryce holding the basketball, is it? And do we know Brock? The only Brock I can think of is Brock Samson, and I’m sure we haven’t seen anyone of his size or awesomeness factor in “Gil Thorp.” I…I’m so confused. I’m going to PUB for some Jalapeno/Bacon Infused Vodka (which is apparently the title of a Related Post. Cool!).

    Comment by jules — December 21, 2009 @ 9:10 am

  2. I wonder if Jammar will be trying out for b-ball…
    He is definitely the tool of the year….
    I can’t tell if the player in panel 1 is passing or receiving; maybe Bryce passed this kid the ball…..
    I hope he is not supposed to be shooting–terrible form….

    Comment by rowdyman — December 21, 2009 @ 9:23 am

  3. JB – who knows what lameness lurks in the hearts of men? Neal apparently does. Dear Neal: Nice segway, butt face!

    …and since j b are also letters of a holiday chestnut I submit:

    Dashing to the screen, near as fast as I can run,
    Time to see just what Jason Beattie’s done.
    Neal and Frank are toast, he’s skewered them with such class,
    Then the snarkers add their own sick twists
    and I’m laughing off my ass!

    Oh jingle bells, Milford smells, Gildo’s on the juice.
    Oh what fun it is to see all those Bozo’s on the loose.
    Jingle bells, what the hells, take that strip to task,
    Every one is all f’ed up, even Mr. Baskt!

    Comment by semperfi4evr — December 21, 2009 @ 9:26 am

  4. 12/21 P3: Doucey: “And up front?” Gildo: “Well, I’m no spring chicken anymore so it’s a little shriveled with streaks of gray. But thanks to Pfizer I can still mount a decent offense with it.”

    Comment by semperfi4evr — December 21, 2009 @ 9:33 am

  5. I see Marjie brought her midget cameraman to her interview with Gil.

    Comment by Scott de B. — December 21, 2009 @ 12:16 pm

  6. Basketball season? How long was I asleep? Did they wrap up the football plot? Wait, was there even a football plot this year?

    Comment by Laura Canon — December 21, 2009 @ 1:05 pm

  7. The football plot is as wrapped up as it’s going to be. You’ll take it, and you’ll like it. Now rub some dirt on it and get out there.

    Comment by Scott de B. — December 21, 2009 @ 1:07 pm

  8. Gil asks Brock to grow six inches? Hey, if he wants six inches, he should go see Kaz!

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — December 21, 2009 @ 2:24 pm

  9. Gil: “Give me six inches Brock, and make it hurt”
    Brock: “I guess I’ll pile drive you twice then hit you over the head with a brick”

    Comment by Knoxy — December 21, 2009 @ 3:01 pm

  10. I don’t know what’s grosser, having man-hands touch your face or having your high school basketball coach tell you to grow six inches.
    What I do know is Marjie is throwing the double entendres out there and Gil is missing them completely. “Duh, we have football players.” What a lame ass! He might as well change his name to Vinny Mac from Des Moines.

    Comment by DieClambakeDie — December 21, 2009 @ 3:05 pm

  11. Marjie’s double-entendres are not the end of the story in 12/21 panel 3. Note that an unusually well-manicured Gil appears to be holding a notebook, which Marjie is writing in from a bizarre angle. This is strange in itself, perhaps a small-town journalist’s version of a tease. But given her upraised face and her expression, one wonders what her left hand is doing…

    Comment by vaganova — December 21, 2009 @ 3:51 pm

  12. glad to see there will be more posts and cant wait for yearend review. great jingle semifi good stuff . just wondering since deion plays clarinet if valerie has tasted his licorise stick yet. if rubin had any balls mr baskt would be in thursdays strip .

    Comment by mr 12 oz can — December 21, 2009 @ 5:08 pm

  13. I bet mr baskt will return in the new year…
    There are so many requests for him…
    he could be a new librarian, assistant basketball coach, whatever…
    mr baskt as the “people’s choice” so to speak…

    Comment by rowdyman — December 21, 2009 @ 5:53 pm

  14. So moving forward, I will do better to mirror the strip…The crappiness of Gil Thorp will be met head on with my shorter (and I swear I’ll try) more frequent snark.

    Let the Nutboy bowl commence.

    Comment by coldbeer4thesoul — December 21, 2009 @ 6:31 pm

  15. The Nut Boy Bowl! Milford State vs. Valley Tech State! Christmas Night on ESPN2! It’s shitty!

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — December 21, 2009 @ 11:20 pm

  16. Post #1-jules, I think the basketball player in panel 1 is supposed to be the often-accused Dylan Bauza, with that stupid little triangle of hair on his chin.
    I guess Bryce passed the ball to him?

    I assume the Brock in question is Brock Reed, football lineman, lawn-mowing buddy of Robb LaRue, and drinking buddy of Duncan Daley.

    Anyways, today’s strip confirms our worst fears. JamJar is playing basketball.

    Comment by billytheskink — December 22, 2009 @ 8:10 am

  17. I will join you to nuty boy, inv me :P

    Comment by Darshan Patel — December 23, 2009 @ 6:33 am

  18. […] as always, high school students are pricks. The jocks are too dumb to realize that it’s the music geeks who get all the action, and the musicians think that just because Marty Moon and Andy Capp attended their most recent show […]

    Pingback by Jocks, Tuck: Pricks « This Week in Milford — April 26, 2010 @ 8:24 am


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