This Week in Milford

March 1, 2010

Getting the Lay of the Luhm

Filed under: basketball, Coach Kaz, Exploding Eyeball Syndrome, Milford Weirdos — jasbeattie @ 9:11 am


Say what you will about Steve…(I certainly have. What a creepy loser.) But at least he seems genuinely happy with what he’s doing. And yet Gil still wants to “help” him. Though my guess is that Coach Thorp is really just giving Steve an even worse option than he currently has, to make him think it was his own decision to keep coaching basketball for free.


Giggety-giggety-giggety! Leave panel four to your creepy imagination. Boom-chicka-wah-wah.


The Luhm-er’s been so sexed up by jailbait, he’s forgotten which end of the broom to use. But since, unlike Gil, he still has a shred of dignity and/or morality, he knows he has a bit of  a problem. And who’s the white private dick who’s a sex machine to all the chicks? KAZ!


Up next: After Steve reattaches his head for the fifth time, Kaz and Luhmy start their next mission: Finding a date for poor, lonely Mr. Kessler. (Poor, poor Mr. Kessler, so lonely and pathetic. Maybe they need to tell Gil that he exists, so he can be recruited to coach softball.)


  1. Mr. Kessler, what a catch! Polka-dot bow tie, checked sportcoat, double chin, bulging waistline, and four-strand combover. C’mon, ladies of Milford! How can you keep your hands off this Mound O’ Manhood?

    And speaking of keeping your hands off, I love the smirk on Coach Kaz’ face when he’s talking about high school girls hitting on him. “Sure, Steve, happens at least twice a week! Why do you think I hold on to this lousy job, playing second fiddle to that drunk douchebag Gil Thorp? It’s the perks, my boy! A little back-of-the-bus, under-the-bleachers action whenever I want!”

    Comment by jvwalt — March 1, 2010 @ 9:22 am

  2. 2/26 P3……..Cassie:”Steve, you promised you’d do me if I drew on this moustache….”

    Comment by Knoxy — March 1, 2010 @ 9:56 am

  3. On behalf of all us big-bellied, balding, bifocaled, bad-dressing b*stards: Rubin/Whigam, you prejudiced pinheads! Don’t you remember what happened to Imus? Limbaugh? Reid? You’re not in Milford any more!

    Comment by semperfi4evr — March 1, 2010 @ 10:08 am

  4. Kaz “Mr. Kessler never deals with it, he just does something about it. To all the girls it’s just wham, bam, thank you ma’am. How else do you get the nickname of Mr. ‘Over-sexed and Under-hyped’ Kessler!”

    Comment by Ray — March 1, 2010 @ 10:25 am

  5. Geez Kaz, what are you, 12? Mr. Kessler wasn’t BORN 70, fat and bald!

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — March 1, 2010 @ 11:03 am

  6. No sweat off Kessler’s sack. He’s getting it regular from Dr. Pearl and most of the cafeteria staff and you don’t hear any complaining from any of them.

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — March 1, 2010 @ 11:37 am

  7. That Mr. Kessler panel is the best thing to happen to Gil Thorp in months.

    Comment by Ian — March 1, 2010 @ 11:59 am

  8. I had a physics teacher in high school named Mr. Kessler. He wasn’t fat or bald, but Chief Wigham nailed his fashion sense.

    Comment by Wikitorix — March 1, 2010 @ 12:18 pm

  9. Starring Ed Wynn as Mr. Kessler.

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — March 1, 2010 @ 1:32 pm

  10. Check out Mr. Kessler’s spiffy bow tie with those cute spots…
    and those banjo eyes behind the goofy glasses…
    that turns certain women on….
    No wonder “He’s getting it regular from Dr. Pearl and most of the cafeteria staff” eh Ned….

    Comment by rowdyman — March 1, 2010 @ 3:30 pm

  11. have a feeling mr kessler will be the next mr baskt who still hasnt been seen since july 31 2009. steve cassie is 18 bang her you fruit .

    Comment by mr12ozcan — March 1, 2010 @ 4:13 pm

  12. I love the knowing look Mr. Kessler tosses out to us readers in the last panel. He knows he’s the last bastion of class (if not of fashion sense) in Milford. A toast to Mr. Kessler!

    Comment by jules — March 1, 2010 @ 4:39 pm

  13. Mr. Kessler goes in my pantheon of all time favorite Gil Thorpe cameos, right up there with androgynous mullet person.

    Comment by Cliff Arroyo — March 2, 2010 @ 3:20 am

  14. I think Wilbur Wetson from Mary Worth is guesting in the role of Mr. Kessler.

    This has to be the greatest crazy cameo ever!!! I love the look Mr. Kessler is giving. It’s like “If only this big, dumb blonde douchebag knew about all the underage tail I was bagging!”

    Why doesn’t Kaz come out and say “So, you got a student that wants the ol’ Steve Luhm broomstick?”

    Also, why in the world would Gil try and encourage Steve to go back to school??? He’d lose his free help if that happened. But then this may be reverse psychology. He knows that Steve is a pathetic loser and knows he’s going to stay at his menial dead eend job. As much as we rag on Gil, he’s no dummy. A drunk, lazy, a$$hole, but no dummy.

    Comment by Regina — March 2, 2010 @ 8:47 am

  15. Regina, Gil is acting out of fear. Steve Luhm is too much of a threat to Gil, both in terms of coaching and of procuring teenage quim.

    Comment by sourbelly — March 2, 2010 @ 9:13 am

  16. Check out the thumbs up Mr Kessler is giving us while he overhears Kaz’s conversation. If only he were winking as well! jules @ 12 Well Said!!!

    Comment by Rex Kwon Do — March 2, 2010 @ 9:46 am

  17. mr kessler rolemodel was mr weatherbee from archie

    Comment by mr 12 oz can — March 2, 2010 @ 4:35 pm

  18. […] be showering first?” “I was going to, but I just changed my mind. I’ll go grab Mr. Kessler […]

    Pingback by High school hoochie confidential « This Week in Milford — March 10, 2010 @ 9:12 am

  19. […] coaches! But wait, I thought the girls’ basketball team already has Head janitorial Coach Steve Luhm. (And his assistant: some girl’s loud mom.) But I guess they could always use Lini an […]

    Pingback by I really like the vest! (I gathered that.) « This Week in Milford — January 12, 2011 @ 9:28 pm

  20. […] that you shaved that goddamn beard, people will stop confusing you for that awful Steve Luhm.” “Yeah, people kept punching me in the head when they thought I was that guy.” […]

    Pingback by Shaving Private Boone « This Week in Milford — August 2, 2012 @ 1:54 pm

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