This Week in Milford

July 14, 2010

There’s no running in golf!

Filed under: bizarre cameos, Gil Thorp, What the hell is going on here? — jasbeattie @ 8:10 am

So many questions today!

First, what sort of dirt does Wilford Brimley have on Gil? Because clearly there’s no way he would just plain volunteer to run a junior golf program. He doesn’t even coach a team when he gets paid!

Or maybe Wilford is bribing Gil to do this by giving him an open seat at the 19th hole? He’s already been banned from every other bar in Milford, perhaps the local clubhouse is Thorp’s last resort?

In any case, I love that Wilford must have told Gil to go stare stupidly out the window while he has secret foreshadowing thoughts about some evil golf parents.

On to the course, where Gil does the only thing he remembers how do as a “coach”: make kids run in circles for hours! His only decision now will be whether he decides to sneak in a quick 18 holes himself, or whether he just brings in Kaz so the two of them can sit on their asses, eat chicken and drink “lemonade” while everyone else runs.

Final question of the day: What the hell is that giant “M” box? Was it the trailer that all the junior golfers were hauled in, like horses? Or is the great Milford magician (the elusive Mr. Bakst, who pulls off the greatest disappearing acts!) going to put on a show later?



  1. Lame attempt at humor, Gil.
    Now the special ed. kids are out there dying of heat stroke or hiding in the bushes.

    Comment by dale — July 14, 2010 @ 8:23 am

  2. Heh. I had no clue that that was supposed to be a joke. I just assumed Gil really was so lazy/dense he’d make kids run during golf practice.

    Hopefully they’ll make some funny faces when they pass out.

    Comment by Drew Funk — July 14, 2010 @ 8:44 am

  3. “And mostly good bunch of parents” dunt dunt dahhh!!!! How dramatic, I can hardly wait for Gil to have a run in with one of these people. Does Mrs. Raptor have any other fat kids? Maybe one of Big Ray’s other kids has lived long enough to make it to Jr. Golf.
    As for the question of the day, The Big M stands for Marty Moon. Those are his deluxe accomodations while he covers the jr golf circuit. Little does the Milford Country Club know they’ll need the sheriff, some eviction papers and a fire hose to get him out of there.

    Comment by DieClambakeDie — July 14, 2010 @ 9:05 am

  4. I was assuming he meant two laps in golf carts- running it would be incredibly stupid and unproductive- maybe that is what he meant.

    Comment by gwilo — July 14, 2010 @ 9:42 am

  5. I hope Gil invites Kaz and Trainer Rick over to watch the golfers run.

    Comment by billytheskink — July 14, 2010 @ 10:17 am

  6. One of the golf kids (James William Bottomtooth IV) is going to go home and rat out Gil: “Oh mummy, there was this simply dreadul man at the club who entreated us boys to run. Could you imagine? This is simply not done, the Bottomtooths do not run.”

    Okay, yeah, lame joke, but seriously kids, I don’t give a flip what you do. Hey you, Stretch, you’re my assistant coach. I want you to run the team through some swing drills for a couple of hours and then come get me and we’ll work on putting or something.

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — July 14, 2010 @ 10:43 am

  7. They’ve got a great selection at the Milford Country Club pro shop. Not only can you buy golf shirts and tassled shoes, but you can also pick up a shop-vac and you own set of replica dead sea scrolls!

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — July 14, 2010 @ 11:02 am

  8. Ned, isn’t Bottomteeth the plural of Bottomtooth?

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — July 14, 2010 @ 11:07 am

  9. The giant “M” box is obviously a sweatbox, a la “Cool Hand Luke.” Woe betide any camper who fails to finish those two laps around the course! Or any kid who interrupts Gil’s “lemonade time.”

    As for the summer plot, I smell “overbearing sports parent driving their kid too hard.” In the end, of course, the parent will learn a valuable life lesson from dear ol’ Coach Gil.

    Comment by jvwalt — July 14, 2010 @ 11:08 am

  10. Wasn’t this supposed to be a golf charity event he was running? Who the heck pays money to run laps?

    Comment by PaulH — July 14, 2010 @ 12:28 pm

  11. In addition to buying dead sea scrolls,shop vacs, tassel golf shoes and golf shirts, you can buy a dry cleaning pants presser.

    I think the great Milford magician made Gil’s right hand disappear.

    “Do two laps around the golf course. (Kids run off, Gil dials phone.) Hello? Clambake? How fast can you get here? I need someone to teach golf for six weeks. And if you have any how you trained Tiger Woods stories to tell to fill in betwening training these rug rats, that’ll be great. If you need me, call me at the Club Bar…on second thought, never mind looking for me. See you in six weeks.”

    Comment by Regina — July 14, 2010 @ 2:42 pm

  12. Please let one of those overbearing dickish parents be Big Ray so Gil (or his stand in Dick Van Dyke or Hugh Beaumont) will tell him off again. Or Lisa Wyche’s mother so Mimi will have to take time off from red hot lovin’ with Mr. Kessler to tell her off.

    Comment by Regina — July 14, 2010 @ 2:57 pm

  13. And you aren’t buying just any golf shirts, but Commodore brand golf shirts. Sure, their computers went out of business in ’94 or something, but their clothing line is still going strong.

    Comment by Drew Funk — July 14, 2010 @ 5:16 pm

  14. laops around the gold course–shoot that has to be at least 7- 10 miles–or the time it takes to consume 6-8 alcoholic beverages….oh I get it

    Comment by PFM — July 14, 2010 @ 6:49 pm

  15. sorry cant’ spell–just ran 2 LAPS around my local GOLF course

    Comment by PFM — July 14, 2010 @ 6:52 pm

  16. any chance lanny penn is one of those parents . i know you guys think its wilfred benley but i thought it was papa gapeto from pinochhhio .i wonder if he made gil look out the window while he had deep thoughts .

    Comment by mr120zcan — July 14, 2010 @ 6:59 pm

  17. Who the hell coaches golfers to run around the golf course???? This isnt a track team, for Petes sake. The summer storyline is off to a great start again!

    Comment by Rob — July 14, 2010 @ 7:06 pm

  18. Today’s strip: The resident snotty bitch calls Gil out on his drunken foolery about running around the track. Hilarity ensues when she and her equally snotty mother clobbers Gil with a five iron for instructing the kids to do pushups.

    Comment by Regina — July 15, 2010 @ 8:42 am

  19. Giant “M” box looks like the Tardis, but wrong story.

    Comment by freehawk — July 15, 2010 @ 9:05 am

  20. Look closely at the “M” structure – it looks like it is on wheels.

    It is obviously the Milford Country Club beer cart, which knows the best place for business is next to Gil on the range.

    Comment by milfordian — July 15, 2010 @ 9:48 am

  21. I’m sensing the end of the strip.

    Who killed Gil?- John Daly Jr. (Two laps,my @ss) Mimi, pizza guy,Steve Luhm, Kaz, mad golf parent, Clambake or the evil one- Bakst.

    Comment by lawrence — July 15, 2010 @ 11:58 am

  22. The Mudlarks lack a high school golf team? That explains the missing scores all these years. Without a golf coach on the scene to muck up the now annual dopey summer plot, Gil is yanked from the porch and plopped on a golf cart. I hope he did not spill a drop of his Arnie Palmer (or is it a Kaz (half lemonade / half ice tea / all vodka)).

    What ever the plot, I have no doubt it will involve (A) a sand trap, (B) a rake, (C) a driver. Oh, wait. We are discussing the Gil Thorpe summer plot and not the summer after I graduate high school. Good to know.

    Comment by bevo — July 15, 2010 @ 12:21 pm

  23. Oh man, this thing went from zero to stupid in one day.

    There’s an entitled golf phenom in the midst of the other golf hobos. Why oh why did entitled golf phenom’s parents send her to Don’t Give A Shit Gil Thorp’s Court Ordered Charity Golf Camp?

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — July 15, 2010 @ 1:05 pm

  24. OK, I fell for it. I love the bouncing ball in P3 today – great artwork for a change. I think I’ll like this storyline.

    Comment by Rob — July 15, 2010 @ 3:42 pm

  25. My only hope for this story is that spoiled golf brat hustles Marty out of his life savings and then Gil shakes her down for half the winnings.

    Comment by DieClambakeDie — July 16, 2010 @ 6:08 am

  26. golf shoes that are made from natural leather would be my ideal choose whenever i play golf *;`

    Comment by Sectional Garage · — November 14, 2010 @ 10:33 am

  27. orange wall art,

    Comment by Wejozlju — July 4, 2011 @ 10:37 am

  28. […] to quote nobody’s favorite character from last summer, who cares? Wilford “I hijacked Rip Taylor’s ‘stache” Brimley would rather […]

    Pingback by Practice Bunk’er? I hardly even care. « This Week in Milford — July 7, 2011 @ 7:03 pm

  29. OMG Yes…

    Haven’t a clue how I ended up here….

    Trackback by Building Envelopes — January 11, 2012 @ 5:52 am

  30. […] To the Milford Country Club Let’s watch Gil berate some kids […]

    Pingback by Return to Janet’s Diner? | This Week in Milford — August 5, 2017 @ 11:02 am

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