This Week in Milford

August 4, 2010

Major F***ing Dad takes over

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Gil Thorp, Pantheon of Hair — jasbeattie @ 11:12 pm

8/3/10

Hey, let’s play “Remember when…?” because remembering entertaining stuff that used to happen around here may just get us through another horrid waste of a summer. So, remember when…all haircuts were a discgrace in Milford? I think that was around the time Patton was alive.

8/4/10

And remember when Frank McLaughlin drew unintelligible, yet fascinating sports “action”? For example…just try to explain what the heck is happening in panel three here.

8/5/10

Remember when I used to talk about the current comic rather than living int he past? No, me neither. Maybe since Carl “Dickweed” Peake has so much free time, I should have him write the blog…

Carl: Hey, blog readers. No more f***ing around! Post a winning comment or I’ll rip your endocrine system out of your body and staple it to the side of my fist-bumping loser son’s head. Now excuse me while I go enhance my score in the Gerald McRaney look-alike contest. I’m Major F***ING Dad and don’t you forget it!

34 Comments »

  1. How does Jason find time to blog about Gil Thorp? Financial consultant. Sets his own hours.

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — August 5, 2010 @ 4:18 am

  2. Is that sand trap in 8/4 panel two giving Torrey and all of us both fingers? Eff you, too!

    How the heck does Gil know that Brian Aaron has been improving? How does Gil even know who Brian Aaron is?

    “Financial consultant. Set his own hours. Like Marty Moon.”

    Hronk! if you love this Summer O’ Fun.

    Comment by Dood — August 5, 2010 @ 6:03 am

  3. Maybe they should get Tigerette or Congressionallina or whatever that golf sister chick’s name is to write the scripts. Her dialog is worthy of late 70s ABC sitcoms. Nothing you’d talk about at the water cooler the next morning, but charming and tolerable.

    Comment by Rooty-Toot-Toot — August 5, 2010 @ 6:12 am

  4. Yo! Carl! It won’t suck itself so get busy.

    Comment by Elmo — August 5, 2010 @ 6:39 am

  5. 8/3
    P1-Santa Claus has turned into Emporer Palpatine.
    P2-That is the tallest pin flag I have ever seen. It’s checkered because everyone in Milford is a winner.
    8/4
    P1-In order for that haircut to have a chance at being intimidating a. it needs to be on someone who isn’t a complete p***y and b. you should be doing something like racing motorcycles or MMA, not golfing.
    P3-Brian Aaron is improving because Gil isn’t his coach.
    8/5
    P2-Where I’m from TCB means someone’s getting a screwdriver in the neck. Somehow I don’t think that’s gonna happen here, although it would make this story much better.
    P3-Financial Consultant-I would guess that means that he is either currently unemployed due to the financial mess, responsible for the financial mess or both.

    Comment by DieClambakeDie — August 5, 2010 @ 6:42 am

  6. Not only is Gil no longer “teaching” that host of children the ways of golf, he’s not even slumming around while someone he cajoled into the job teaches them. He didn’t even make them run laps while he went off to steal from the beverage cart.

    He’s just hanging out at Milford CC, playing golf with Wilfred Brimley, and watching the world’s longest amateur golf tournament. The question is, can he pull this off during football season?

    Comment by billytheskink — August 5, 2010 @ 6:57 am

  7. I called it: Carl, the cheater in golf and life, is going to get busted for cheating his clients, and Torrid and Klemperer will have to transfer to public high school Milford.

    I also predict that Carl is going to get caught trying to help Klemperer in his match with BA. Klemperer will disqualify himself and a**wipe Carl will learn a lesson. — yawn —

    I’m in London and showed some of my colleagues “Gil Thorp” and this blog: they think GT is a lame comic (and if you’ve read British comics then that is saying something), but they love the blog! Cheerio good sport!

    Comment by milfordian — August 5, 2010 @ 7:09 am

  8. 8/3 panel 1: Milford Country Club Golf pro Phlegmy McDivot chuckles to himself, recalling how Gil neatly sliced off the fingertips of his right hand with the putting green reel mower.

    Comment by Dood — August 5, 2010 @ 7:21 am

  9. This summer storyline is a sad waste of Carl Peake’s potential. Imagine if he started hanging around Milford sporting events, razzing Gil and Mimi for their obviously inadequate coaching. Imagine if he took his big fat “financial consultant” (read: embezzler, fixer, money launderer) bankroll, bought the local TV and radio stations, and gave Marty Moon unlimited airtime to bash the Thorps. Imagine if Carl put up a slate of candidates for School Board with a one-item platform: Fire Gil.

    But no, we’re not going to get any of that. Carl Peake will harass his unlovable kids for a couple more weeks, learn some kind of “life lesson,” and vanish into the mists of memory. Too bad.

    Comment by jvwalt — August 5, 2010 @ 8:06 am

  10. This summer golfing guano is so disjointed and alien. It would make the most sense if a word balloon soon said “Clatuu Barum Nictu!”

    Comment by semperfi4evr — August 5, 2010 @ 8:11 am

  11. If Kemper Peake and Brian Aaron are tied after 18, will there be a sudden-death playdown?

    Comment by Dood — August 5, 2010 @ 8:26 am

  12. “Financial consultant. Set his own hours.”

    a)”That’s tough. How long has he been out of work?”
    b)”That’s tough. How long has he been out of prison?”
    c “That’s tough. When did you find out you and Torrey are going to be his ticket to ride?”

    Comment by tomcervo — August 5, 2010 @ 10:33 am

  13. What’s Carl Peake’s “Patton” quote? “Thorp, you magnificent bastard! I read your strip!”

    Comment by Dood — August 5, 2010 @ 10:57 am

  14. What is it with this town and the dorky mid calf socks. Kemper even has the colored stripe on his in 8/3 P2. That rowdy crowd from New Thayer should show up and ridicule these rubes.

    Comment by DieClambakeDie — August 5, 2010 @ 1:26 pm

  15. #13 Dood: or possibly “And if we’re not victorious, let no one come back alive!”

    To me, the most astonishing thing about this story is that, at least as suggested by 8/5 p 1, Kemper (Hartford? Prudential?) still likes golf.

    Comment by vaganova — August 5, 2010 @ 1:41 pm

  16. Wasn’t Patton’s famous quote something like, “Get out of that bed, you sissy!”?

    Comment by dale — August 5, 2010 @ 2:33 pm

  17. I thought it was Patton who first said “Whooooo’s YaDaddy!?! … “Intimidating ‘do”. Right. It’s offputting and somewhat unnerving – what kind of crazy putz would show up at a country club – even Milford’s – looking like a WWII Paratrooper, while some deranged asshole blows an air horn at him when he’s trying to drive? Huh? I ask you.

    Comment by Sgt Saunders — August 5, 2010 @ 3:14 pm

  18. why is gil a lefthanded golfer this year??? ok kempers gay torrey is a slut with 2 abortions already and carl likes kiddie porn . where the hell is cassie and mimi???

    Comment by mr120zcan — August 5, 2010 @ 6:50 pm

  19. My guess is by the end of the summer Daddy dickhead and Bernie Madoff will be cellmates.

    WTF is with these fist bumps??? Has evryone in Milford got Howie Mandell syndrome???

    Gil: “Carl doesn’t count all of his strokes? That’s wierd because Mimi counts all two of mine.”

    Comment by Regina — August 5, 2010 @ 7:54 pm

  20. Is Gil Thorpe cashing in with product placement by naming the financial consultant kid Kempner.(better than Nutboy)

    Comment by lawrence — August 6, 2010 @ 5:18 am

  21. In today’s comic Carl is at it again. Hopefully Kemper will realize it and confess bringing this story to a conclusion.
    Here in GA, school has started and so has football. In upstate NY, where I’m originally from, school doesn’t start until September. I think in Milford it starts after Halloween.

    Comment by DieClambakeDie — August 6, 2010 @ 9:57 am

  22. Plot forecast: Kemper, Torrey, or both discover Carl’s cheating on their behalf, then forfeit a match or tournament on principle.

    Richard

    Comment by Richard — August 6, 2010 @ 1:32 pm

  23. Richard 22, hope you’re right, because that’s the only way this ghastly summer plot will end will end with any dignity. Forget about “entertainment value.” I like it that Richard has brought up Torrey, who in the strip has pretty much vanished except as a foil for her brother. In any case, something dire has to happen to Carl, something beyond mere embarrassment. No matter which psychiatric model you apply, Carl Peake is one sick fuck.

    Comment by vaganova — August 6, 2010 @ 2:50 pm

  24. #19 Regina Howie Mandrell syndrome LOL

    I hate that guy so much I can’t even talk about it

    brb

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — August 6, 2010 @ 6:08 pm

  25. You are so right #23 vaga – Carl Peake is one sick fuck, but what is Neal trying to convey here? I don’t get it.

    My thought is Donald Trump stuff (although I don’t know if he even golfs) but it’s like the sins of the father, etc?

    Still sucks…

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — August 6, 2010 @ 6:21 pm

  26. Wish I knew, GB 24&25, but I’m just a ballet dancer. What I do know is that Rubinwhig has conjured up a character who inspires us all to want to knee him in the balls. Must mean something.

    Comment by vaganova — August 6, 2010 @ 10:11 pm

  27. I miss Frank so much….*sob* Terrible hair beats mutant hands for joy and all around funtimes anyday.

    Comment by cj — August 7, 2010 @ 8:54 am

  28. I think the reason why Carl “Dickweed” Peake is so annoying to me is that his cheating is so transparent, clumsy and frankly just stupid. “Hey kid who’s playing against my son, I found your ball improbably wedged in the roots of this tree. Tough break, kid playing my son!” “Hey other kid playing my son, time for searching for your drive is over. Them’s the rules kid playing my son! No, I didn’t see your ball, I’ve just been hanging around down here near where you drove the ball, but, nope, didn’t see nothin’. C’mon, chop chop!”

    What’s next? “Um. Mr. Peake sir, I saw Kemper hook that drive off the tee and it wound up in the middle of the fairway. I noticed you standing down there. Did you see what happened?” “Yeah, it was the damnedest thing. The ball bounced off a deer that was nibbling on some clover in the woods and bounced right back into the fairway. Yep, damnedest thing I ever saw. C’mon kid playing my son. You’re up!”

    Was Carl Peake a financial consultant for Wesley Snipes? “Just claim you’re a citizen of Elbonia and you’re exempt from paying income tax in the United States. That’ll do the trick.”

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — August 7, 2010 @ 9:05 am

  29. LOL Ned

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — August 7, 2010 @ 8:50 pm

  30. And today’s strip, “Winner buys the cokes”.

    This is just sad.

    Comment by Gil'sBarber — August 7, 2010 @ 8:54 pm

  31. When will Brian’s ball fall out of Carl’s pocket?
    1) Carl is dragging Kemper away from consorting with the enemy (having a Coke with Brian)
    2) Carl and Kemper get home

    Comment by dale — August 7, 2010 @ 11:39 pm

  32. i just wanna know how carl can get to the ball so fast to hide it .whos not gonna notice a old fart who wears brycreem in his hair running down a golf course or does he use a cart?

    Comment by mr120zcan — August 8, 2010 @ 8:45 am

  33. #32 12 Oz– In tournament play there’s usually a “forecaddy,” a guy who stands in the landing area and watches each player’s ball as it comes in, and marks it, usually by sticking a skewer into the ground with some colored yarn attached. I have to wonder if donkey-dick here has done something to the forecaddy– will they find him tied and gagged behind the mower shed?

    Comment by vaganova — August 8, 2010 @ 2:54 pm

  34. how is not gil in the last panal on saturday insisting on rum n cokes

    Comment by mr120zcan — August 8, 2010 @ 4:52 pm


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