This Week in Milford

April 1, 2011

Will Mimi score tonight? Slim chance.

Filed under: baseball, Boredom in Milford, Coach Kaz, Gil Thorp, Mimi Thorp, Recycled art — jasbeattie @ 9:44 pm


In case you blacked out for most of 2010 (if so, good for you!), Slim Pickens and the Rejects were the cornerstone of last spring’s boring-ass plot. Not only is Rubin dragging these guys out of the dumpster this year, but Whigham is already half-assing  it too, recycling half of last year’s art. What’s the over/under on the first mention of BACKYARD TIRE FIRE?


“Holy crap, Coach,  if I wasn’t so high, I’d swear your name was written in bold letters across random items on your desk.”
“Well, if I wasn’t so drunk, I’d tell you my stolen baseball trophy completes the sentence, because it has the word ‘SUCKS’ engraved on it. Now remind me again…which burnout are you?”

“So I don’t think I imagined it, Kaz…There I was, having taken enough peyote that I was totally believing there was a goddamn bay window in my office. Some kid…um, Slim Fit was it? Well he wanders in, and asks if he can show up to the same number of games and practices that I attend each spring. Naturally, I thought that meant he didn’t want to play at all. But then he starts talking about a BACKYARD TIRE FIRE, so I ran out of the room screaming and then called 911. Anyway…now that I’m here, can you look up Rule 1 of baseball on that fancy computer of yours? I’m pretty sure it’s either ‘Each player must play ’em all.’ or ‘No fat chicks.’ Either way, I’ll also need to borrow your sweats…my clothes disintegrated in that imaginary tire fire.”
“Uh, wow, that was a lot of trippin’ balls talk. But since nobody seems to care that we’re recycling all our panels now, let’s just pick this up again tomorrow.”


As an April Fool’s Day joke, Mimi attempts to have sex with Gil. Unfortunately, he ruins it as always with his constant thoughts of high school jocks.



  1. It’s simple , the Longshots will be replacing the Milford High Marching Academy and Dance Band at all games this season.

    Comment by exmiscellanea — April 1, 2011 @ 10:01 pm

  2. Slim is absolutely correct–if he pitches every fourth day, there is no need of him being there. The onus on on Slim to follow all the exercise plan & training regimen as prescribed for the starting pitchers by the strength & conditioning staff. In Miltown, that probably means some trainer who has been there “forever”….

    I like “Slim”–he seems like a truly engaged student interested in academics, athletic & musical pursuits. Eccentric to be sure!! But that’s a good thing IMHO…

    Comment by rowdyman — April 1, 2011 @ 10:11 pm

  3. Now this guy with the “!” shirt is the anti-baseball guy who hates baseball, but only went along after they got to meet BTF.
    Sheesh, I knew I had some great mamories of 2010.
    Getting back to Al-Jo, how many 16-year-old girls sing Woody Guthrie tunes nowadays anyway,

    Comment by Soccerhead — April 1, 2011 @ 10:13 pm

  4. 3/31 panel 1. How many times would a normal person have to spill his coffee before he realized that’s a really stupid place to put his cup?

    Comment by dale — April 2, 2011 @ 12:35 am

  5. Good God, would you look at 4/1 panel two, with Mimi piloting that mid-80’s Volvo through outer space! Or maybe it’s Mrs. Thorp’s Shortcut. Either way, I think Gil must have slipped some of the good stuff into my morning coffee. I’m gonna go watch Mary Worth’s face melt for a while.

    Comment by jules — April 2, 2011 @ 7:23 am

  6. “You’ve been dithering?” WTF? Has anyone in the real world EVER used this word before? How’s this for an idea Gil….shut the f&ck up and give Mimi the high hard one. Then go out and look for your kids. I’m starting to think shallow graves in the back yard….

    Comment by Knoxy — April 2, 2011 @ 8:13 am

  7. Mimi has more of a chance of scoring with Mr. Baskt than Gil. HSe has her arms out to grab Gil and Gil is more interested in grabbing a Harvey Wallbanger.

    Haha Kaz, you’re so quick with the quips about the Yankees. A freak hand is getting ready to slap the stupid out of you.

    As usual, Gil has put together a set of sentences that make no sense. Much like Engrish.

    Okay, the only thing I want to see is Al Jolson and Slim Pickins and the nobodies getting into a battle of the band.

    Comment by Regina — April 2, 2011 @ 10:07 am

  8. And by the way Gildo….being a math whiz doesn’t mean a thing when it comes to programming a computer…..YOU program it. The computer does the math. I was a software developer for 30 years. and people would say “Boy, you must be great at math”.
    ….Regina…I think Mimi is holding out for a three way with Gildo and Mr Baskt.

    Comment by Knoxy — April 2, 2011 @ 11:06 am

  9. One of these days, Whigham is going to go too far and recycle all three panels, triggering a black-hole vortex that will suck this entire comic into oblivion. And then our long national nightmare will be over.

    I do have to admit that I got a good laugh out of Gil’s firm belief in consistent attendance. The only place he shows up every day is PUB.

    Comment by John S. Walters — April 2, 2011 @ 11:09 am

  10. Recycled plot, recycled art. It doesn’t get any better than this, folks. Seriously, it doesn’t, which is very sad.

    Comment by sourbelly — April 2, 2011 @ 11:17 am

  11. 8. Knoxy– Apparently we were separated at birth. This jar head was an sd for 33 years; loved 29 of ’em.

    Mimi: “Stop, you’ve been dithering about this all night. So what’s the real issue?”
    Gildo: “The real issue? April Fools my left gonad! How can I get excited about the beast-with-two-backs after you’ve emptied your cloaca in the bed?”

    Comment by semperfi4evr — April 2, 2011 @ 12:44 pm

  12. I’m looking forward to Al-Jo and Derek making beautiful music together: “I Got You, Babe,” “Shake Your Groove Thing,” “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” and “The Mountain’s High.” Check it! Count it! Bonk! HRONK!

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — April 2, 2011 @ 1:10 pm

  13. Is Gil channeling Cheap Trick with his “I want you to want me” routine?

    Is Slim Chance a longshot to get to second base with Al-Jo Ames-Ducey?

    How did the Milford women’s basketball team do this season (seem like kind of a basic thing to let us in on)?

    How many months until the summer-‘o-fun?

    Speaking of magic carpet rides, what is up with that 4/1 second panel?

    Am I asking too many questions?

    I’ll see your hronk and raise you two ease-ups. Check it!

    Comment by Dood — April 2, 2011 @ 2:59 pm

  14. I agree, Regina– that was a cheap shot on Kaz’s part about the Yankees. Don’t tell me you too are acquainted with places like River Avenue and Gun Hill Road.

    And like Dood, I’d kind of like to know how the girls team did. Last I heard (December?) they were playing a damn sight better than the boys…

    Comment by vaganova — April 2, 2011 @ 4:58 pm

  15. SemperFi…..know just what you mean…..Y2K burned me out..5 days a week in LA (from Connecticut)..home Friday night..back Sunday night..The upside was I had to go to the UK, Amsterdam, Milan and Antwerp (all 1st class on their dime)

    Comment by Knoxy — April 3, 2011 @ 12:04 pm

  16. […] been seriously absentee this spring: she’s shown up in six panels, two of them lying around in bed, and none since just before Hobart showed up three weeks ago. So I see this going one of two ways. […]

    Pingback by Paving the way for the gritty new spinoff: “Hobart’s Way” « This Week in Milford — May 10, 2011 @ 10:29 am

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