In case you blacked out for most of 2010 (if so, good for you!), Slim Pickens and the Rejects were the cornerstone of last spring’s boring-ass plot. Not only is Rubin dragging these guys out of the dumpster this year, but Whigham is already half-assing it too, recycling half of last year’s art. What’s the over/under on the first mention of BACKYARD TIRE FIRE?
“Holy crap, Coach, if I wasn’t so high, I’d swear your name was written in bold letters across random items on your desk.”
“Well, if I wasn’t so drunk, I’d tell you my stolen baseball trophy completes the sentence, because it has the word ‘SUCKS’ engraved on it. Now remind me again…which burnout are you?”
“So I don’t think I imagined it, Kaz…There I was, having taken enough peyote that I was totally believing there was a goddamn bay window in my office. Some kid…um, Slim Fit was it? Well he wanders in, and asks if he can show up to the same number of games and practices that I attend each spring. Naturally, I thought that meant he didn’t want to play at all. But then he starts talking about a BACKYARD TIRE FIRE, so I ran out of the room screaming and then called 911. Anyway…now that I’m here, can you look up Rule 1 of baseball on that fancy computer of yours? I’m pretty sure it’s either ‘Each player must play ’em all.’ or ‘No fat chicks.’ Either way, I’ll also need to borrow your sweats…my clothes disintegrated in that imaginary tire fire.”
“Uh, wow, that was a lot of trippin’ balls talk. But since nobody seems to care that we’re recycling all our panels now, let’s just pick this up again tomorrow.”
As an April Fool’s Day joke, Mimi attempts to have sex with Gil. Unfortunately, he ruins it as always with his constant thoughts of high school jocks.