This Week in Milford

May 23, 2011

Milford School Bored

Filed under: Boredom in Milford, Just plain sad — jasbeattie @ 11:49 am

We interrupt an uninteresting conversation between two random people we care nothing about (one possibly named Sonya Whitelips), to bring you…an uninteresting Milford School Board meeting!

Until today, I was convinced that there was no such thing as a “Milford School Board.” But there it is in all its glory: Fifteen feet of particle board, classy two-foot tall Chicago font, worthy of hanging in any curtained handball court, or possibly for use in a ginormous first generation iPod. The $15,000 those fat-cat teachers spent on such a huge sign was totally worth it…Now even though Phil is late to the meeting and didn’t get a chair, he knows he’s made it to the right handball court.

The only two people not there? Why, the Thorps of course. Gil, still tuning out anything that would require him to go to a non-alcohol-related event, and Mimi, MIA for weeks and presumed playing her version of handball with the pool boy. Man, I wish I was a Thorp…this meeting could last for days.



  1. “The Milford School Board holds it monthly meeting.” Jeepers, you think? By the way, are they outdoors at the base of a giant California redwood?

    A packed house? Hey, hey, hey!

    Anyone else hear that Tolan got shelled by Valley Tech?

    Comment by Dood — May 23, 2011 @ 12:05 pm

  2. Should the Milford teachers’ union appoint Coach Kaz as its negotiator? They’d get half their demands met but would never play in that district again… or would they?

    Comment by delvaldawg — May 23, 2011 @ 12:12 pm

  3. i thought professer pearl ranthe school. how is fat albert ,hobart and the latin softball coach involved in this plot again.i must drink as much as gil i have n idea whats going on

    Comment by mr120zcan — May 23, 2011 @ 4:31 pm

  4. Commrade Soyna to the “capitalist pig” teachers: “We will bury you!”

    Comment by Regina — May 23, 2011 @ 8:45 pm

  5. …as she bangs her shoe on the desk. (For anyone under 50, that’s a Kruschev analogy!)

    Comment by Regina — May 23, 2011 @ 8:46 pm

  6. For some reason I read ‘Hardball’ instead of ‘Handball’ which would kinda make sense except in capitals N and R don’t look anything alike. Reading it as ‘Hardball’ produces a bit of a non sequitur, but none of this stuff really makes any sense so I didn’t notice until after catching this on the blogs.

    Comment by Tim — May 23, 2011 @ 9:25 pm

  7. I like the giant MILFORD SCHOOL BOARD sign in the background. Is that like closed captioning for the thinking impaired? Or maybe they’ll flash APPLAUSE or BOO up there at key points in the meeting. Actually, it kind of reminds me of the mugs some of the characters had with their names on them so we/they would know who they are.

    Comment by J.D. Springer — May 23, 2011 @ 9:26 pm

  8. The giant sign is pretty stupid, but it could’ve been worse… if Whigham had used Comic Sans.

    We seem to be set up for a Tea Party uprising at the school board. Which is interesting, because (a) there’s been no previous hint of political unrest in sleepy ol’ Milford, and (b) Rubin’s a year behind the times. In 2011, the public response to Hobart-style rhetoric has been largely pro-union. Of course, Rubin might be setting us up for a swerve: maybe the crowd is there to support the teachers, and Hobart will slink off into the night muttering about fat-cat teachers and that whore of an ex-wife.

    Come to think of it, we are getting perilously close to the end of the school year, so it’s probably time for a happy nonsensical wrap-up of all our spring storylines. Remember Jeff and Al-Jo? Remember the simmering resentment on the baseball team over special treatment for Slim Witless? Remember Gil and Kaz getting caught in a police raid on a dive bar that serves booze to teenagers? Have the baseball and softball teams managed to avoid the playdowns yet again? To these and other questions, stay tuned for disappointing answers!

    Comment by jvwalt — May 24, 2011 @ 2:21 am

  9. MILFORD SCHOOL BOARD is actually displayed on a giant LCD screen installed on the base of that giant redwood tree. As the meeting goes on, the message will change to advertisements EAT NUTBOYS, DRINK BUZZ COLA, SMOKE VARSITY GRADE WEED, etc.

    Is there a marketing potential for “MILFORD SCHOOL BOARD” similar to how the “MUMFORD PHYS. ED. DEPT.” T-shirts were popular due to the appearance in Beverly Hills Cop? And by marketing potential, I mean would at least three ironic hipsters who are into the hipster t-shirt irony buy a t-shirt emblazoned with the phrase?

    Comment by Ned Ryerson — May 24, 2011 @ 5:48 am

  10. Marty’s imagination is working overtime on this plot. Or has his mom cut off the oxygen supply to his crate?

    Comment by Dood — May 24, 2011 @ 5:57 am

  11. Nut Boys?! They’re shitty! Check it! Count it! Bonk! HRONK!

    Also: Playdowns?! Are you kidding me?! Playdowns?! WAP!

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — May 24, 2011 @ 6:58 am

  12. Dood @10: I think Marty’s hearing bits and pieces of the nightly newscast flitering down from upstairs and his mind is racing to fill in the blanks. It’s his parents’ placeholder before the Wheel of Fortune/Jeopardy block, dontchaknow.

    Comment by delvaldawg — May 24, 2011 @ 7:08 am

  13. Do you think Marty got “Hobart” from the restaurant where his mom waits on tables? Maybe she puts his crate back in the kitchen area.

    Comment by Dood — May 24, 2011 @ 7:53 am

  14. Could be, or maybe mom was a Milford cafeteria lady. We’ll know for sure if a character named Sysco shows up…

    Comment by delvaldawg — May 24, 2011 @ 9:35 am

  15. White-lips: “I’m getting complaints about scatter shot un-related plotlettes too.” […which means Rubin is doing his job.]

    Comment by semperfi4evr — May 24, 2011 @ 1:03 pm

  16. Delvaldawg @ 10: as a restaurant worker in my past life, I laughed at your remark.

    Comment by Dean Frymaster — May 24, 2011 @ 4:29 pm

  17. Hard to believe anyones complaining about teachers making too much. I always thought in general teachers were underpaid for their value to society. The exodus to Milford has begun!

    Comment by Rob — May 24, 2011 @ 6:03 pm

  18. this is the end my freinds the syndicate has told rubin not even free papers want this strip . there will be no football season gil thorp will be done by 4th of july never to be seen again . but if old strips are poste here that were before the mr baskt era i will still post.

    Comment by mr120zcan — May 24, 2011 @ 6:12 pm

  19. Hey, 12 oz, “the rapture” was cancelled.

    Comment by vaganova — May 24, 2011 @ 7:11 pm

  20. Gail Martin better be part of the Al-Jo/Slim Whitman fund-raising benefit concert. You listening, Marty?

    Comment by Dood — May 25, 2011 @ 7:29 am

  21. Gail Martin?! She’s the rock and roll Carole King!

    Comment by Don, the Rebel without a Blog — May 25, 2011 @ 9:59 am

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